I've always liked computer programming and all of its related subjects ever since I learned HTML at age 16. Actually, I even made up my own little systems of how "coding" worked well before that. I just always found it fascinating to wonder how the games I would play worked, and formed my own theories ever since I was a kid. I am now, of course, aware of how it all works from a general viewpoint. I am by no means good at any language -- I just know that I can get better if I want to because experience has taught me such. I also "know" how it all works now -- it's no mystery to me (how computers and computer programs work). I am sad that it took the magic out of it though.
I put the brakes on furthering/honing my skills (and forgot a lot of stuff I knew) since I can't find any specific purpose to apply them to. For example, I am pretty unsure if I'd even enjoy a career in programming, and think it would be better as a hobby or maybe a business venture (i.e., create a website to make money or such).
The idea of working in an office is depressing to me. I know this is basically what programming jobs all consist of -- offices/office-like environments. Since I cannot see myself in such an environment, my best self tells me that programming is not a career for me, if I'm going to be miserable in it.
People say that you should learn to code to apply it and make money, but I'd much rather apply it to a business kind of way to make money than a "regular job" way (never liked nor had one of those anyways). Any suggestions here?
See, because I have no specific direction in which I feel or know I can take these skills, I have virtually no interest in wanting to advance if I can't directly provide a benefit to myself from learning (and no, learning it by itself is not a benefit to me if I have no direction or specifics to apply it to).
Any ideas? Should a set a specific reason to apply it to as a motivation to learn? Should I give a career a shot, even if I detest the idea of the working environment greatly?
I'd much rather have a "job" that's more "hectic" and changing -- and I don't think programming jobs fit that, but insight would be nice. But bear in mind that I've never had a "job" and work independently (freelancer) on various, non-passionate things (just for money at the time) -- however, I'd like to put a specific interest in to play here. Any thoughts? Anybody ever been in this situation?
Not knowing what to do with programming, or where to go (or whether to make a career/big thing of it)? I know there's freelance programming to, but I hear that's no different overall besides maybe working in your home coding (depressing).