Thread: Microsoft Joke

  1. #1
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    Sep 2001

    Microsoft Joke

    Three Engineers are driving in a car, an Electrical Engineer, a Chemical Engineer and a Microsoft Engineer. The car suddenly stops and the Electrical Engineer since he knows a lot about circuits checks the circuitry of the car and he couldn't find the problem. The Chemical Engineer doesn't know much about cars and he checks the fuel but he also couldn't find the problem. The Microsoft Engineer doesn't know anything about cars and he said lets close all our windows, get out of the car, come back in and open our windows.

  2. #2
    A woman had been married three times and was still a virgin.
    Somebody asked her how that could be possible.

    "Well," she said. "The first time I married an octogenarian and he
    died before we could consummate the marriage."

    "The second time I married a naval officer and war broke out on our
    wedding day."

    "The third time I married a Microsoft Windows programmer and he
    just sat on the edge of the bed and kept telling me how good it was
    going to be."
    "There's always another way"
    -lightatdawn (

  3. #3
    Heres another one (one of my favorites). Its a little old but still good.

    Windows 95 - The right choice

    Newest propaganda campaign from Redmond

    So you've all heard of OS/2 Warp. Here's why Windows 95 is the right
    operating system for you:

    Enhanced error handling:
    Over the past 12 months, MicroSoft has been working intensively on
    the bugs inherent in Windows 3.1. The result: an advanced operating
    system with greatly enhanced bugs. All of the Windows 3.1 bugs are
    present in Windows 95, and run faster than ever. We have also
    introduced a range of new bugs never before seen in an operating
    system of this type. Whether you are a professional programmer, a
    casual user, or a game player, Windows 95 offers a larger range of
    bugs than any other operating system on the market.

    32-bit Memory Management:
    Windows 95 offers full 32-bit management of 16 bit memory. After a
    considerable amount of work, the familiar "General Protection Fault"
    is nowhere to be seen. The GPF has been replaced by two
    significantly improved errors:
    "Specific Protection Fault" - used to corrupt an individual 16-bit
    "Global Protection Fault" - this powerful memory management facility
    will allow a corrupt process not only to corrupt all other running
    processes, but corrupt processes on all other machines within a
    five-mile radius. Even now we are developing "pre-emptive" memory
    management, which will be able to corrupt processes which are not
    yet running.

    Threaded Multi-Tasking:
    The cooperative multi-tasking found in Windows 3.1 has now been
    replaced with the far more powerful "uncooperative multi-tasking".
    This enhancement will allow several processes to crash
    simultaneously. Our new crash protection facility greatly enhances
    the multi-tasking environment. Should one process fail, the CPF will
    prevent this process from being disturbed by other cleanly running
    processes. The multi-threading environment allows one process to
    generate multiple errors, while still remaining separate from other

    Time Saving Abilities:
    Everyone has had their system crash whilst editing a document that
    had not yet been saved. Re-entering the lost data can be frustrating
    and time-consuming. Windows 95 eliminates this problem by causing
    processes to crash much earlier, significantly reducing data loss.

    So, anyone can see why Windows 95 offers greater power at a greater
    price than any other operating system available today. So, when
    choosing your next operating system, remember our motto:

    Windows 95 - Tomorrow's Bugs, Today.
    "There's always another way"
    -lightatdawn (

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