Funniest standup jokes/stories?

For my english class, my assignment is to tell a story. That's pretty much it. It doesn't have to be very long at all...a couple of mins is fine.

I'm looking for some funny jokes/stories that incorporate race and/or religion, as I think those will be the most funny things.

Do you guys know of any jokes or funny stories that can be done as an "act"? Like stand in front of class and make use of voices, actions, etc for a good funny story?

Here's one thing I found funny that I could elaborate on:
http://www.ozjokes.com/jokes/jokes.aspx?jokeid=1711

Anything you guys can think of?

Thanks.

You are disgusting.

Can't we keep this crap contained in one thread?

many people like those kind of jokes, Leeman, but i can guarantee you the general populus DOES NOT and if you say a racial or religious joke in an English class you will be slaughtered. You can trust me on that one.

Give up already. Get another topic.

You suck at life.

I hear that a lot RoD, lol.


Here's one for you:

"A gay guy walked into a bar...





....



he said 'ow' "

Somebody want to get this crap off my screen?

This has degraded to flaming - and frankly I can't see anywhere else for it to go. The thread has been closed once. If you have a real issue with my closing it again PM me and we'll talk.

kermi3