fun w/ the CO$

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06-23-2002
Scourfish

fun w/ the CO$

So, before I email this to the CO$, what suggestions/alterations does anyone suggest?

Dear CO$,

Often, I think that rabid squirrels that are out to eat my genitals are chasing me. My family disowned me after something as miniscule as setting fire to our house. Recently, my wife has left me, and my goldfish, Willy, has died. The little **** down the street keeps throwing toilet paper in my trees and egging my front door and throwing rocks attached with the notes “Scientology kills,” and “Scientology: Profiteering cult, not religion” through my window. The other day, I think I had a heart attack, but while driving to the hospital, I got sidetracked by McDonalds. I often wet the bed and involuntarily ejaculate in public. One time, I was arrested for sexually assaulting a buckeye tree. I have type 2 and 3 diabetes, Herpes, Pink Eye, and a severe case of Acne. The public sanitation department has tried to force me to take a shower, but I haven’t taken one in 3 years; I’m not about to start now. Sometimes, I get this uncontrollable urge and kill a few dozen people, but not before taking their money. I scare little children. Can scientology cure me of all of these ailments? My friend is level 9 and can now read my mind and often masturbates to the sexual fantasies I conjure. Please send me an information packet, as I want to be able to waste ****loads of my life and money believing in space cooties that were a result of L Ron Hubbard’s drug trips. Also, Hubbard had a tendency to beat his wives; can you guys teach me how to beat (my wife)?

Sincerely,
Avidday Iscaviagemay
06-23-2002
ygfperson

i would suggest deleting this message and finding more effective ways to spread your message
06-23-2002
Scourfish

Quote:

Originally posted by ygfperson
i would suggest deleting this message and finding more effective ways to spread your message

Nah, I'm not into speaking out, just ****in em up a little.

The problem is, that I'm dry on ideas, and afraid that the following seems too overdone.
06-23-2002
lightatdawn

>>The problem is, that I'm dry on ideas, and afraid that the following seems too overdone.

Just send 'em a bunch of Jehova Witness pamplets. :D Not sure anybody deserves that kind of punishment tho... hmm...
06-23-2002
MethodMan

I think you should get some help.
06-23-2002
Scourfish

Wait, I've got an even better idea. I could do a Zero Wing-esque sequence based on L. Ron Hubbards mistaking ore deopsits for Japanese subs dropping depth charges in Cape Lookout in Florida. Hehe, Imagine something like, "In AD 1943, Ore was beginning"

Perhaps that's got some potential, no?

So, how many scienos do we's gots in da crib? Yeah, represent! Represent beeotch! Then we's will git down Clearwater style. all ye damn hood ratz..
06-23-2002
Unregistered

who's co$?
06-23-2002
ygfperson

church of scientology
06-24-2002
loopy

Your first post is so nutty it remind's me of dianetic's, or is that why it's written like that, to make fun of his writing?

I thought co$ was cosman, people actually abbreaviate church of scientoligy?
06-24-2002
cozman

pretty funny, and I'm not even sure what to think about the fact that loopy thought I was the Church of Scientology :D
06-24-2002
loopy

<<pretty funny, and I'm not even sure what to think about the fact that loopy thought I was the Church of Scientology

Oh cozman, my mistake.

[disclaimer]
cozman is in no way related or affiliated with the church of scientology, if such affiliation was implied, then loopy is a nut.[/disclaimer]
06-24-2002
no-one

you do realize your all to be brutally murdered now, right? or as they call it disappeard.

you've made a joke and/or insulted the COS, you do know who the real MIB work for right? Right?

well i'll tell ya, they work for the COS! thats WHO!!
06-24-2002
ober

ahh... don't get your panties in a bunch no-one... ;)
06-24-2002
Unregistered

Quote:

Originally posted by no-one
you do realize your all to be brutally murdered now, right? or as they call it disappeard.

you've made a joke and/or insulted the COS, you do know who the real MIB work for right? Right?

well i'll tell ya, they work for the COS! thats WHO!!

No, we will be declared supressive persons, as according to the Operating Thetan documents.

BTW, 75 million years ago, Teegeak (earth) became overrun by the ghosts of dead aliens (space cooties aka thetans), thanks to XENU; these cooties now make up our collective conscience. Unless you have paid $350,000 to the CO$ then you will instantly die if you see the name XENU.