I'm an alien, you know. I came to earth as part of an advance party to check up on you people and evaluate the possibilities your planet offer. We are currently deciding whether we should coexist or we just take the planet as ours... I personally dislike your race, so you may guess what my opinion on this whole issue is.
Since you people are so dumb stupid that can't see our UFO's (they are called aircraft, by the way) with the about 4 million radars you currently own, we take our pride to descend on earth about everyday to collect a few specimens and do experiments on them. We are mainly interested on your brain because we just like to giggle to ourselves seing how small your is... I believe you do the same thing with your genitals.
Sometimes we do circles and squares and stuff on hay plantations. We sometimes do it also on corn. Its just because we are bored and out of pencils. I oppose to that, mind you. We take great care to not be seen by officers and people armed with high resolution cameras in your planet. We go to the effort of only showing up around farmers, near retirement police officers, the average john doe with a 60 second moment of fame syndrome and bad excuse for journalists armed with 30 year old cameras. So, the circles really nag me... I took it to our high council.
As for how we came here... well we have unlimited resources and an infinite economy. Don't ask us how we got that. Suffice to say, your Bill Gates character would be middle-low class on our planet. We don't have classes, mind you. It was just a comparison. We have a complex system so complex that you wouldn't really understand.... in fact we are so complex all around that you wouldn't understand. That's the whole point ain't it? For you not to understand... just to have black and white photocopied photos to share around about our existence.
Anyway I was saying we have unlimited resources. As such we are able to build these spaceships that travel at the speed of light. Don't mind that our planet is about 400,000 light years away. It took us about that time to reach here... The important thing is that we took the trouble of traveling all that time so that we could giggle on your brain size.... And do circles on crops... I'll show them!
Now. I guess the important thing to retain here is that we can also travel above the speed of light. That way we could reach your planet in a short notice. We could do it... but there was this scientist back home that use to warn us about the dangers. We used to laugh our asses of (we don't have an ass... but you get the point). But when we built our above-the-speed-of-light spaceship and first used it... well, we didn't remember that electrons travel near the speed of light around the atom nucleus and as such I believe you can guess what happened to the spaceship and crew when the ship movement was higher than the atoms that composed it... it was a mess. Thankfuly not even gore was left out to constitute evidence and we proceeded with our former projects.
So, I'm an alien. And we came to your planet you call Earth but we call K6XVR564 underscore 7. I'm currently living here and choose to have a human life and body so that I could mingle. Your farmers and low life continue to get abducted by us in the middle of the night with strong bright lights that only they can see (that's technology for you... you dumb people!). Now that you know the truth of it I know what will happen next... you will think I'm either joking or a mad man and as such don't give 1 point to what I'm saying and keep believing on said journalists, near retirement police officers, lonely farmers and blabla... and photographs that are so bad quality that a psychologist could use them instead of those ink blotted cards.
You people are soooo easy...
