Quote:
Cheese, don't take this wrong. After all, we're best friends, right? Okay, maybe not best friends, but we're close! Alright, maybe we're not all that close. In fact, we really don't even know each other, but I do have a doll of you. It looks just like you! Well, I don't know if it looks like you at all, but I named him Cheese. He's my friend. He sits on my lap a lot, and we love each other... in a plutonic way... sorta. Okay, it's not always plutonic but you always start it! I mean he always starts it. Cheese the doll starts it. I named him Cheese. We love each other. Well, I don't know for a fact that Cheese the Doll loves me, but I love him and he doesn't complain and I love him because he's you and we're buddies. I mean the doll and I are buddies. I named him Cheese.
This is the funniest thing I've ever read...