On behalf of my government, I am pleased to announce that we are accepting entry into our country of any American political or social refugees who are looking for a safner life away from USA war zone.
We promise shelter, food, a chance for a new life. We also have corrupt politicians and bad politics, so you'll feel at home. But no circus! Except those you pay for an admission ticket and are over within an hour.
Please have your American passport on your hand at the border patrol and be ready for inspection. We are accepting non-combatant refugees only. Politicians, political campaign members and journalists, including their friends and relatives are not permitted.
Welcome to our country. May you make it great as you once did your own before you f... it up. Warning: your family Visas will expire in exactly 239 years after date of admission.
