# Programing jokes? huh cliche

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• 06-12-2012
CoffeCat
Programing jokes? huh cliche
Why do java programmers wear glasses?

Becouse they dont C#..

ps; not my credit.

• 06-12-2012
Elkvis
• 06-12-2012
Matticus
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.

(Not mine, but impressively clever.)
• 06-12-2012
Fordy
There are 10 types of people in this world: those that read binary and those that don't.
• 06-12-2012
Salem
• 06-12-2012
Yarin
My favorite would have to be:

I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matticus
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.

(Not mine, but impressively clever.)

Heh, I didn't get it at first, but that _is_ good. And now I feel _really_ stupid for having to look it up to find out that the secret lies in bases.
• 06-12-2012
CoffeCat
I still cant understand Matticus joke. Maybe someone can light me, if possible
• 06-12-2012
Matticus
Octal is a base-8 counting system.

Just as 0xF in hex = 15 in decimal,
31 in octal = 25 in decimal

("OCT" 31 = "DEC" 25)

If you have a calculator program with "programmer" functions, enter 25 (while it's in decimal), then switch it to Octal. Such fun =)
• 06-12-2012
manasij7479
• 06-12-2012
phantomotap
As Yarin references, the "secret" is in bases octal and hexadecimal.

I heard this from my boss one upon a time: "Why do programmers make better problem solvers? Because I said so. Now get back to work!".

I thought it was funny. ^_^

Soma
• 06-12-2012
CoffeCat
Thanks Matticus, didnt know there is Octal :P

Nice one Soma.. lol
• 06-12-2012
Matticus
I did come up with a joke that I'm quite proud of, but it's an electrical joke and not a programming joke:

"My son is like a floating CMOS input ... always causing intermittent problems. So I grounded him!"

(silence)

hem.
• 06-12-2012
Neo1
Not jokes as such, more like funny quotes:

With regard to adding more programmers to get a project done faster - Nine people can't make a baby in a month.

Documentation is like sex. When it's good, it's fantastic. When it's bad, it's still better than nothing.

What you’ve described, “The bottleneck in writing code isn’t in the writing of the code, it’s in understanding and conceptualising what needs to be done,” is common to all highly abstract programming languages. Writing Haskell, for example, involves an hour of meditation followed by the emission of a fold expression.

A C program is like a fast dance on a newly waxed dance floor by people carrying razors.

Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.

Debugging is like farting - it's not so bad when it's your own code.

Test driven development is like eating watermelon. Slice it up and work in sections at a time; eat all the red until all you have left is green.

Java is to JavaScript what Car is to Carpet.

A computer programmer is a device for turning coffee into bugs.

It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter.

If we're supposed to work in Hex, why have we only got A fingers?
• 06-13-2012
CoffeCat
Quote:

Originally Posted by Neo1
A computer programmer is a device for turning coffee into bugs.

I know one a bit different.

The programmer is just a tool, that turns coffe, into code
• 06-13-2012