Thread: is this a good thesis?

I've been really trying to improve my essay writing and getting feedback. here's the thesis

This essay attempts to retrace the origins of the debt crisis to the actions of the US and OPEC, and the continued accumulation of third world debt thereafter to the SAPs of the IMF.

is that good? should I not say "this essay" and just say something like "The origins of the debt crisis can be retraced to the actions..." instead?

My essay is mostly a chronilogical explantion of the events that led up to the Debt Crisis and why third world debt just continues to rise.

thanks