Actualy, there are some games that single people have programmed, its not impossible, just prehaps lower quality. Heres an example - This guy knows his networking :P -
www.xenimus.com
Developers really dont have any set rules about the creating process. Usualy the storyboard goes up first. (If there happens to be one) Then you can do a few things. Usualy the engine will go up next, though, most game companys never touch an engine, its usualy purchased then modified. Or else the company will modify an old engine. Sence the engine usual has a model loading process, the company will probably start making models & skinning the models. At the same time, a map editor of sorts will be made if one was not supplied. From there, a scripting engine comes in if it was not supplied. Dummy models sometimes are sometimes used at this point. (Basicaly models with no animation, just to test the systems) The map is made -> stuff is placed -> things are scripted, this is the longest process if the engine was purchased. Once everything works, the games released. It gets alot more complicated if you dont buy the engine. Then again, things could be done completely backwards, though I imagine that would cause a great headache for most people :P.
Languages vary. C/C++ are the most common. From C/C++ it usualy boils down to DirectX or OpenGL. DirectX is more windows friendly, but its drawback is it... only works on windows. OpenGL requires a bit of extra code to get things working, but it works cross platform if you do it right. They're some other libraries such as alegro, though I've never seen a commercial game made in them.
I dont know about books, and I dont have any 3D programming links on me, but they're out there. Good luck.
