Back to "Is != or < faster?" specifically, let me invoke a hint of history here.
This is the same in C or C++; they are elementary statements.
C was originally written to replace an assembler, essentially to be a chip independent assembler or just slightly higher than assembler.
Many constructs in the elementary syntax of C (and therefore C++) translate into 1 assembler instruction, when a chip supports that as such. These two happen to translate to x86 instructions of identical meaning (!= or <, >, >=, <=, etc).
As such, the speed of such comparisons, or of any of the elementary constructs like this, will relate closely to the chip on which you're executing. So, from a language viewpoint, it hardly makes sense to think of this in terms of the "language speed", but of the fact that implementations differ, optimizations may significantly affect some of the basic constructs and you generally shouldn't focus on microscopic performance issues too early. There are very rare exceptions to this general rule, and by the time you get to the point that it matters in your work, you'll have some sense of the assembler implications of your C/C++ code anyway, and the question will be moot.