Watch-People-DieŽ TV! (Warning: Contains Parody)
I got permission to advertise this great show*. Anyone who is not watching should turn on immediately!
Don't miss a second of the exciting action on Watch-People-DieŽ TV! Last week we had in-depth minute by minute coverage of the Schiavo death. YOU furiously debated it while we furiously televised it. Our ratings proved that we had the death that YOU wanted to watch!
Finally, we had to let her die to make way for this week's episode! This week we cover the breath-taking death of Watch-People-DieŽ TV's occasional special-comments person, the Pope! Will he die tomorrow, the day after, or even today? Will he be watching his favorite episode of Will and Grace as he dies? Make sure YOU don't miss a second of Watch-People-DieŽ TV to find out!
Watch-People-Die TV! The world's best entertainment! We don't let petty issues like privacy, taste or decency stop us giving YOU blow by blow, bullet by bullet or disease by disease coverage of every last breath!
Who will star next week? Will it be a celebrity or a some lucky guy elevated to fame in their final days! One thing's for sure, Watch-People-DieŽ TV will be there to provide YOU with the exclusive footage that YOU need!
On Watch-People-DieŽ TV2, be sure to keep up with our bomb by bomb coverage of death and destruction in Iraq. This is explosive footage!
Don't forget to phone in your vote for our upcoming interactive episode of Watch-People-DieŽ TV!
- Phone 1-666-DIE-1 to experience the joy of watching that annoying guy from American Idol bleed to death from shattered ear-drums!
- Phone 1-666-DIE-2 to watch BOTH the Bouvier sisters die a horrible, yet entertaining, death from an explosive device crafted from a stick of gum and a few leaves!
You can vote as many times as you want. This is the small print (this fact should have been given away by the small size of the print): Calls incur a $4.50 per minute charge. By calling you are automatically entered in a special prize draw. The winner will feature on the next series of Watch-People-DieŽ TV.
Watch-People-DieŽ TV! Because the E in DEATH stands for ENTERTAINING! Watch-People-DieŽ TV! If there is a bucket to be kicked we'll kick it! Watch-People-DieŽ TV! We're there to watch YOU bite the dust!
Watch-People-DieŽ TV! Now screening on your local media outlet, all day, every day. Frequent repeats on the History channel.
*No I didn't. If you find Watch-People-Die TVŽ distasteful, disgusting, outrageous, disturbing, exploititive and offensive, ratings suggest you are in a very small minority.