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Unregistered
12-06-2001, 12:07 PM
Hi!

I like a girl (I can't call it love, though!). Recently, I got the courage to tell her, and found that she likes me too. The day I told her, before she go, she kissed me on the cheek, and I did it, too. I liked it very much!
After I got back home, I was thinking for that only...all the time! I always wanted and dreamed to kiss her, but this time a real mouth kiss. Today, we did it... she asked me either with a tongue or not. I told her with. It was my first kissing in my life (I am 16), and my problem is that I felt really strange, and I am not sure if I liked this kind of kiss... I never expected it to be this way at feel.
Should I be somehow concerned? Is it normal that I get wondered wheteher I liked it or not? (Notice again, that I kiss for the first time in my life).
How did YOU feel the first time? Did you like it, or like me- not much...?

Thanks!

Betazep
12-06-2001, 12:26 PM
Kissing is a wonderful thing. Don't be too concerned about how you kiss, when to kiss, etc. Just use a lot of heart. Be compassionate. Be caring. Be gentle. Pretty soon, you will be an old pro at it.

My first kiss lasted an eternity, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. I remember feeling a little intimidated because she knew what she was doing, and I really didn't.

I have come to learn, many kisses later with many women, that nobody really ever knows what they are doing in new relationships. That is part of the excitement of it: you never know how it is going to flow until it is happening and it usually overwhelms you when it does.

Most importantly, maintain innocence... and always have respect. I pity people that view relationship partners as objects and conquests. I feel they never find the true joy of what relationships can bring.

Congrats... have fun... be safe.

adrianxw
12-06-2001, 12:49 PM
>>> she kissed me on the cheek, and I did it, too.

So she kissed you on your cheek and you kissed you on the cheek, man, thats clever!

Seriously, there is no right way or wrong way, as your relationship develops, you will evolve your, (as in you two's), way that works for you two.

>>>
I pity people that view relationship partners as objects and conquests. I feel they never find the true joy of what relationships can bring.
<<<

That is SO right.

Unregistered
12-06-2001, 12:59 PM
"So she kissed you on your cheek and you kissed you on the cheek, man, thats clever! "

I mean that I kissed her on the cheek, too... not that I kissed myself...!

I agree with the second thing, too...and she is not "an object"... I really like her... just didn't really like the mouth to mouth kiss, and I am not sure if this is normal when for first time?

adrianxw
12-06-2001, 01:10 PM
>>> not that I kissed myself...!

Err, yeah, the humourous trait in my voice loses something in the typing!

>>> didn't really like the mouth to mouth kiss

As I said, you will develop a method that works for both of you. If it was your first, how could you possibly get it right first time? Practice my lad, practice!

DISGUISED
12-06-2001, 01:14 PM
You probably just felt uncomfortable with it because you were understandably nervous. Don't try to read to much into it. Just relax, be yourself and see what the future brings.

Series X4 1.0
12-06-2001, 01:14 PM
We are all objects. Though in my world, I'm the main object.

nvoigt
12-06-2001, 02:22 PM
... and obviously in your world you are lonely and depressed.


For the kiss... well, I'm far from being a pro, but I agree with the majority here... put in heart and feelings and it will be great. Were you comfortable on your first ride on a bike ? I was not. I was afraid I would fall and die the most horrible death in history. I wasn't comfortable on that bike at all. I thought I'd never survive on that construct from hell. But riding a bike can be fun on a nice summer day. All you have to do is relax and don't think too much about it. Have fun. Be safe. Practice makes perfect ;)

Unregistered
12-06-2001, 02:31 PM
Yeah, I agree with you... and thank you very much for your reply...

I am going to try agian, soon...
But the problem is that I don't feel like doing it right now... maybe I am too excited, I don't know... but when do it I want to do it with feeling, but not just for the act... and right now, I can't feel anything... I can't feel anything to anyone right now...that much I am stumped!

Betazep
12-06-2001, 02:33 PM
>>>just didn't really like the mouth to mouth kiss, and I am not sure if this is normal when for first time?


Very normal...

some advice.

Did you ever have something that you were really really excited about? Like getting that perfect gift.

Try to feel that... smile... reach out for her and kiss for no longer than a second or two. Just a brief press on the lips (mouth closed).

Practice this often and move onto more advanced topics (like the head turned sidwise kiss, etc... haahahha)! :D:D


Seriously... don't worry about it. You are going to have a blast!

Unregistered
12-06-2001, 02:49 PM
Hey! That's good idea!!! I will do it every time we meet... first times it will be just a kiss for a second without tongues, and I will add some every new time...
I hope I will get it to feel soon...

Thanks!

-KEN-
12-06-2001, 03:36 PM
>>Though in my world, I'm the main object.

return 0;

Whoops, looks like main is no more.

Aran
12-06-2001, 03:48 PM
}

now it is no more.


in other news: kissing is cool. It's great to have a girl that you like like you back. too bad that the girl who i like and who likes me doesn't want to even talk to me in person anymore.. she was a rather weird person. heh. I'm just sitting back now, waiting for something to happen. Whenever i try to get to know some girl, it always ends up where she likes my best friend or she just doesn't want to grow up and thinks being my friend entails growing up.

My luck isn't high. I wouldn't blame me.

gamegod3001
12-06-2001, 04:21 PM
> It was my first kissing in my life (I am 16),

*Lets out sigh of relif* Thank god no I don't feel so bad.

doubleanti
12-06-2001, 06:58 PM
> humourous trait in my voice loses

myne doesn't! :)

awwwwwww... how sweet........................

DeViLs_SouL
12-07-2001, 10:39 PM
God, that was sweet.....
i can remember my first kiss...actually i cant...i was so drunk thou!
:p
but them, after 1 or 2 weeks, i had my real first kiss... i felt so shame...god, she really knew what she was doing, and i was really stuck... however, it was nice.

And same happened to me man... i thought it was different, after that, i wasn't in the mood for kissing.. but i realised they were my nerves...

Ull learn, and like someone said, smile... something that girls really like, it that, when ur kissing her, close ur lips and smile, give her a sweet smile, and tell her u love her.... and ull see.... she'll kiss u right back again!!! ::D

Congrats man....
keep on going, and RESPECT, thats some other thing women love ....

doubleanti
12-08-2001, 12:33 AM
>RESPECT, thats some other thing women love ....

great advice there... everyone loves respect... also moderation, and fun ^ 3! [the good clean kynd... mind you...] :)

TFOV
12-08-2001, 10:36 PM
My first kiss...the girl damn near raped me. We were sitting on my basement couch, and WHOOSH! She jumps on me. Oh man, one thing led to another...had to be the greatest birthday gift ever.

I noticed some bad advice in a few posts. You shoudnt tell a woman how you feel, unless she really presses the issue. Why? Because she already knows. Its really simple, your hanging around because your interested. She knows it, you know it. No need for verbal reassurance. When you keep saying it, you will end up lowering her interest level and shes gonna label you weak, desperate, or lonely. And everybody knows what happens after that...Termination! Bye bye! You just lost your job!

Hmmm, kissing....hey man, take her down to your basement. Its just got to be something about being home alone with a guy in a basement that makes chicks totally uninhibited.

doubleanti
12-08-2001, 10:41 PM
oh lucky you... heh... what kind of girl was this? sheesh!!!:eek:

DISGUISED
12-08-2001, 10:47 PM
This guy says we give bad advice and he is telling him to get her in a confined space for some skanko roman wrestling :D That's funny

doubleanti
12-08-2001, 10:57 PM
>skanko roman wrestling

niice... i'm gonna use that... is that okay? :)

-KEN-
12-08-2001, 10:58 PM
I agree with TFOV...in moderation...:) (well, depending on the girl...not if it's a girl you REALLY like...)

DISGUISED
12-08-2001, 11:02 PM
Sure DA feel free to use it anytime.

The V.
12-09-2001, 01:05 AM
Originally posted by TFOV

You shoudnt tell a woman how you feel, unless she really presses the issue.

Romance is a game of communication, and you must be careful not to tell her too little, but you also must be sure not to tell her too MUCH.

Whomever said to say "I love you" is following a pretty foolish strategy. Say those words, and you have a very good chance of frightening the other person away.

Communication is the heart of romance, so you need to learn how much to give. You need an air of mystery and suspense to keep them interested, yet not be so aloof that they think you hate them and give up on you.

If all else fails, send lots of conflicting signals. Women do it all the time, and we still love 'em; you can't argue with results. =]

doubleanti
12-09-2001, 01:11 AM
that's good advice V... hmm... god forbid i ever be in any relationship where we can't be perfectly frank and straight forward with our feelings... [by relationship, i mean all relationships... like the one's i have with you guys too... plus relationship relationships y'know?]...

oskilian
12-09-2001, 01:39 AM
>Whomever said to say "I love you" is following a pretty foolish strategy. Say those words, and you have a very good chance of frightening the other person away.

well, I once (the only time) said those words (and I still mean it) without being asked and the effect was even more horrible!!! she got VERY frightened and never wrote to me again... -snif-

Heartbroken Oskilian

Null Shinji
12-09-2001, 02:04 AM
Originally posted by oskilian
>Whomever said to say "I love you" is following a pretty foolish strategy. Say those words, and you have a very good chance of frightening the other person away.

well, I once (the only time) said those words (and I still mean it) without being asked and the effect was even more horrible!!! she got VERY frightened and never wrote to me again... -snif-

Heartbroken Oskilian depends on the girl, if she doesnt really like you, then that happens :( but be cool man as you always are ;) youll find a really worthful woman that deservesya ;)


Miguel.....
PS: Peeps, have ya noticed i appear once in a while??? lol, ive been busy, but ill be back, i swear!!!

oskilian
12-09-2001, 02:08 AM
yeah, I know that happens, b-b-but the problem is t-t-that I re-re-really love her man!, I don't know what to do...

-cry-

Heartbroken Oskilian

Null Shinji
12-09-2001, 02:31 AM
Originally posted by oskilian
yeah, I know that happens, b-b-but the problem is t-t-that I re-re-really love her man!, I don't know what to do...

-cry-

Heartbroken Oskilian aww men that happens to all us, but you can be sure youll know the right one (and dont get that chaotic and annoying as milo ;))

Miguel

Unregistered Dude #2
12-09-2001, 07:59 AM
I'm 19 and I've never had a girlfriend. I haven't met one girl interested in me at all. I have tried but I just can't seem to find someone. Any advice?

Series X4 1.0
12-09-2001, 08:37 AM
Yes, forget about it, and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You havn't missed anything at all.

It's nothing special, of course, you can feel things like "love" - but those feelings are cursed to die. When you get to know eachother it's already over.

Fordy
12-09-2001, 08:51 AM
It's nothing special, of course, you can feel things like "love" - but those feelings are cursed to die. When you get to know eachother it's already over.


Hmm...not a writer of slow smoochy balads I guess.....

:p

doubleanti
12-09-2001, 10:49 AM
>worthful woman that deservesya

heh... or... you'll have to solder on a cup for the rest of your life... :)

oh, seems to me that if you have to go out of your way [uncomfortably] to be with someone or to 'win them over', then you shouldn't have done it in the first place since obviously they aren't reacting the way you'd thought... time for blunt, but sweet communication protocols... of which we still need to debug... :)

Aran
12-09-2001, 11:46 AM
heh.. some advice that i've learned the hard way: never tell a girl what you think of her unless you are either with her alone, or you KNOW that she feels the same way about you. Usually they get scared if you say anything to a positive liking effect and hide it with saying something like 'aww'...

Just keep your eyes open, and don't let them take anything for granted.

Betazep
12-09-2001, 12:19 PM
>>Any advice?

Yeah... spend the next two years getting in the best shape that you can. Learn as much as you can about life.... and take up a hobby that you are interested in. Live life to its fullest every day.

Be a warrior. Nothing scares you. Nothing makes you turn away from duty to yourself.

Along the way... you will find someone with like interests that likes you. Give time a chance. Life is a journey, not a destination.

nvoigt
12-09-2001, 02:41 PM
>Any advice

No. Betazep said it all. Perfectly.

It took me 24 years to meet someone I loved. Nothing special about being single at 19. Enjoy life, somewhere along the way you'll meet someone special.

The V.
12-09-2001, 04:14 PM
Originally posted by Unregistered Dude #2
I'm 19 and I've never had a girlfriend. I haven't met one girl interested in me at all. I have tried but I just can't seem to find someone. Any advice?

Don't be afraid to fail. Expect that a good portion of the time, you WILL be rejected. It happens to absolutely everyone. Learn to fail with grace (that's good advice for life in general, as well).

Keep trying, and although you may fail a lot, sometimes you'll meet someone who's as interested in you as you are in them.

Further, although you should know you're going to fail often, in many things, always keep a positive attitude -- sometimes positive thinking can be your salvation.

Basic idea: Go into every situation thinking you will succeed, handle your failures with grace, and never stop trying. That'll get you far in any aspect of life.

oskilian
12-09-2001, 04:23 PM
Well, I'm a little scared because I don't want to be single my entire ife (I know I'm too early to say that), but it doesn't seem like I'm going to change my status in a short period of time.

Oskilian

doubleanti
12-09-2001, 04:27 PM
to be one with others is to be one with yourself...

if you aren't fine and dandy by yourself, then other people can't really bring that out of you... it's like, if i wasn't already bonkers in the noggin' without you guys, i wouldn't be with you guys... right? :)

Aran
12-09-2001, 04:33 PM
so you're saying that someone has to be crazy to join this community?........ i'm with you on that :D ;) :cool:

gamegod3001
12-09-2001, 05:17 PM
>I'm 19 and I've never had a girlfriend. I haven't met one girl interested in me at all. I have tried but I just can't seem to find someone. Any advice?<

That makes me feel very good.

>Yeah... spend the next two years getting in the best shape that you can. Learn as much as you can about life.... and take up a hobby that you are interested in. Live life to its fullest every day.

Be a warrior. Nothing scares you. Nothing makes you turn away from duty to yourself.

Along the way... you will find someone with like interests that likes you. Give time a chance. Life is a journey, not a destination.<

Well I got everythign but the warrior part. (public speaking, and telling a girl I like her I am very scared of)

DISGUISED
12-09-2001, 05:29 PM
I think that if you want to meet girls that you might have something in common with ...then go to a public event or something that you are interested in. For example, I met my GF at a gamming convention. When I over heard her complaining to a friend about games taking up all her hard drive space.....AND saw how beautiful she was.... I Knew that I was in love :D We met in the PS2 booth and the rest is history. It's great too because not only do we like the physical things about eachother, but we have common interests and never run out of things to talk about. I think that's a good foundation to build an even better relationship on.

Good Luck Fellas.

Unregistered Dude #2
12-09-2001, 05:44 PM
Thanks guys for that advice, esp. Betazep. I guess if I concerntrate on myself and improving, the rest will follow.

oskilian
12-09-2001, 10:22 PM
well, I would, but the problem is that there are NO public events of my interest AT ALL! I studied in an all-male school, and I'm going to celloge, so I hope I'll find someone who shares my interests there, but the question is:

should one seek a person of the opposite sex who shares the same interests as you? or should you find one who is a your complement, the girl I'm talking about is of the second kind: she likes singing, she enjoys social life, ...

BTW: why is it that we are more passionate at night? I mean, I checked the forum in the morning and I was completely ashamed of writing what I wrote the previous night; but for some strange reason I'm more open right now and I am sharing even more with total strangers (well, I'm sharing this with you (and I haven't shared it with NO ONE ELSE) because you're my friends and fellow programmers who understand me..., I hope I wasn't wrong)

Oskilian

DISGUISED
12-09-2001, 10:39 PM
should one seek a person of the opposite sex who shares the same interests as you? or should you find one who is a your complement, the girl I'm talking about is of the second kind: she likes singing, she enjoys social life, ...

No by no means does a girl HAVE to have the same interests as you for you to have a good relationship. I was just suggesting that, something along those lines might be a good way to meet people. I sure know it worked it for me.

oskilian
12-09-2001, 10:55 PM
of course! but my question is: who should you seek? something like an equal or more like a complement?

Oskilian

doubleanti
12-10-2001, 12:05 AM
does your equal complement you? does your complement equal you?

oskilian
12-10-2001, 12:12 AM
was that a joke?

nvoigt
12-10-2001, 12:46 AM
Nighttime is subjective. It's 7 in the morning here. ;)

Complement or equal ? I don't know. I don't like the 'looking for' approach very much ( so I'm sitting in front of my PC alone, go figure :( ) At some point in life you will meet someone special. Maybe more than just once. I don't think anyone can be friends with his/her perfect equal. That would be boring. And noone can stand his perfect complement. So I guess it's a middle way as always ;)

oskilian
12-10-2001, 12:51 AM
>Nighttime is subjective. It's 7 in the morning here.
-YAWWWN- I know, it's quarter to two in the morning in here. What I meant is nighttime, I'm very passionate now. (I am not awake at this time just to be passionate, of course :) )

Yeah, I agree with you. I think a middle would be very good (now that I think about it, "she" is a middle.

-siiiiiiigh-

Unchested Oskilian