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vasanth
05-02-2004, 10:30 AM
I thought this was a nice one.. may be old..
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere

gcn_zelda
05-02-2004, 10:55 AM
3/10...


That was the dumbest thing I have ever heard/read :P

Lurker
05-02-2004, 03:39 PM
OLD and ANNOYING.

KneeGrow
05-02-2004, 04:01 PM
not bad 5/10

axon
05-02-2004, 08:37 PM
-1/10

RoD
05-02-2004, 08:39 PM
10/10

funnnierz

PedroTuga
05-02-2004, 08:41 PM
not bad... subtil... i liked it. It's nice to have something to laugh in the midle of a allnight stand solving a f*** homework. By the way if anybody can help me with my question about TCP window size in this board that would make this night so much beter!!
Cheers all!

Govtcheez
05-02-2004, 09:14 PM
This isn't a board for your homework.

Zach L.
05-02-2004, 09:15 PM
I've heard it, but I still like it. Definitely rates at least an 8/10.

Silvercord
05-02-2004, 10:18 PM
I liked the one about the lawyer and the anthropologist

omg that was funny
hahaha

17PI/(12.43 * (1/GOLDENRATIO^2))

(multiplied by the inverse kinematic recipibel of four)

EDIT:
govtcheez wants to be a lawyer, he'll kick your ass

anonytmouse
05-02-2004, 10:39 PM
In the same vain:


http://uk.download.yahoo.com/ne/fu/attachments/sayings1.doc
These are the things people actually said in US courts, taken down and published by court reporters - who suffered the torment of trying to keep straight faces while these exchanges were taking place. Some of these are excellent; don't miss the last one.

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at
all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something
you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you
when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved
in voodoo or The occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Now Doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know anything about it until the next
morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: So the date of conception [of the baby] was August
8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on
dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, ok? What school did
you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8.30 pm.
Q: And Mr Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing an autopsy.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But the patient could still have been alive,
nevertheless?
A: Yes it is possible that he could have been alive and
practising law somewhere.


This one is for those working on help desks (WAV sound file):
http://uk.download.yahoo.com/ne/fu/attachments/loser.wav

More bad attachment humor. (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/promo/office/index.html)