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vasanth
02-29-2004, 10:32 AM
The uni has listed me for placement ( the year before final year)... The company is british Telecom.. I have to submit a CV with a personal statement.. I am not sure if what i have done is right since english was not my primay language...


can any one please recommend modifications to make this better...

thank you



Personal STatement
----------------------------

I am a hard-working and highly motivated student interested in various fields of computing who can work under pressure and time constraints. Being a perfectionist, I tend to take all jobs seriously. The skills I gained in HND have been put to practical use when I worked part time for a PC assembling Unit and a Cyber Café where I was responsible for various tasks such as maintaining the network, and general hardware/software support. My interest in programming resulted in self-learning C/C++, VB, ASP, SQL and HTML, which were later strengthened through academic courses. The role of a team leader in my final year HND project (Development of chess game with primitive AI) made me learn the importance of proper project management. I passed my HND with a Distinction (87.5%) which enabled me to get direct entry into BSc Computer Studies 2nd year where I got straight ‘A’ in all my first Semester modules.

My aim is to work for a company in which I can be part of an efficient, motivated and professional team that takes pride in positively contributing to the company. I am proficient in the use of technology and can demonstrate strong problem solving and team working skills. I feel confident that my personal skills and my interest to learn will allow me to become a valued member of any organisation.

sean
02-29-2004, 10:59 AM
Well I wouldn' have guess that English as your second language. The only mistakes I found were things that were either just typos or something the Spell Check would pick up. Pretty convincing CV too.


(Development of chess game with primitive AI)

I would just change it to "a chess game"


I passed my HND with a Distinction (87.5%) which enabled me to get direct entry into BSc Computer Studies 2nd year where I got straight ‘A’ in all my first Semester modules.

I would use "gain direct entry", and 'A' should be plural, 'A's, or something.

Other than that, Word should pick everything else up under spell check.

adrianxw
02-29-2004, 01:42 PM
>>> Being a perfectionist, I tend to take all jobs seriously.

That sentance worries me a little. Perfectionists are notorious for spending to long on trivial details.

Fountain
03-01-2004, 02:30 AM
Or you could add that you would be willing and perfectly able to go and work at their 'new' call centre.

Its bound to be in India. Thus, you have a bigger foot in the door :)

Fountain
03-01-2004, 02:38 AM
and my interest to learn


Oh I forgot. That is poor. (and not English)

Try words like 'eagerness', or 'dedication to learning' or 'interest in self development' and stuff. By the end of the week, you will have the best CV possible :)

linuxdude
03-01-2004, 09:05 AM
The skills I gained in HND have been put to practical use when I worked part time for a PC assembling Unit and a Cyber Café where I was responsible for various tasks such as maintaining the network, and general hardware/software support.
I am very bad in English, but shouldn't there be some commas somewhere. I see like 3 clauses but no commas???

vasanth
03-01-2004, 08:28 PM
Thanx guys.. Made some modification...
Now just hoping everything goes fine...

sean
03-01-2004, 10:21 PM
Well good luck and let us know how it works out for ya.