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axon
12-30-2003, 04:27 PM
Hey guys, I wonder what you think about this poem that I wrote some time ago...let me know what you think I'm trying to say in it. thanks!



My First

She has captured me. My senses cornered,
The emotions confined by her unceasing bonds
Ready to leak out onto the white lamina of relief.

She has been there since the beginning, cunning and always
Aware. Never letting down her guard. Ready to counter
My every move on the infinite chess board of truth and false.

Incessant battles within the soul interrupted by
Brief moments of self-realization. . .self-fulfillment,
often plagued with untruthfull and beguiling
themes, ideas, morals. . .words.

She has captured me,
She, the Fear of creativity.

j.b.

curlious
12-30-2003, 04:40 PM
I like the them. Too me it almost read like a paragaph though. The imagry seems spelled out so my imagination did not wander to much, but not bad in my opinion;)

subdene
12-30-2003, 04:45 PM
i would like to meet this person you have described.

minesweeper
12-30-2003, 04:49 PM
>>Ready to leak out onto the white lamina of relief.<<

LOL.....fantastic.

viaxd
12-30-2003, 05:21 PM
i didnt understand a thing.......

axon
12-30-2003, 09:44 PM
>>Too me it almost read like a paragaph though

thats true...this poem doesn't have the traditional structure....or much stracture at all. It was my beginnings though.

>>i would like to meet this person you have described.

I think you're not getting the point of this poem...read it again, and try to see what I'm saying....I'm not describing a person at all.

>>LOL.....fantastic.

what do you think this means minesweeper? Many people think that that line has a sexual connotetion but in fact it wasn't ment that way ;)

>>i didnt understand a thing.......

thats too bad....in my opinion it is a very simple poem. I'll explain the meaning behind in a little while.

alpha
12-30-2003, 09:51 PM
Does it have something to do with music or some kind of academia?

axon
12-30-2003, 09:56 PM
Originally posted by alpha
Does it have something to do with music or some kind of academia?

Not really. Basically it was my first real poem ever. I wrote it a couple of years ago. It took me about 3 months to write. I was scared to write it, but I knew I had to do it - hence I wrote about the process of writing. It is the Fear that has me bound, and prohibits me to leak out onto the white lamina of relief (write).

I'll boost my ego some more by letting you know that this poem has ben published both in the US and the UK! I'm very proud of My First real poem.

I wasn't trying to make it fancy, or to have a hidden meaning, but somehow thats how it turned out. Almost everyone who reads it, but does not read into it, thinks that it is about a first sexual experiance :p . The last line kind of gives away the true meaning though, esspecially by personyfing Fear and having it capitalized.

alpha
12-31-2003, 01:13 AM
Originally posted by axon
Not really. Basically it was my first real poem ever. I wrote it a couple of years ago. It took me about 3 months to write. I was scared to write it, but I knew I had to do it - hence I wrote about the process of writing. It is the Fear that has me bound, and prohibits me to leak out onto the white lamina of relief (write).

I'll boost my ego some more by letting you know that this poem has ben published both in the US and the UK! I'm very proud of My First real poem.

I wasn't trying to make it fancy, or to have a hidden meaning, but somehow thats how it turned out. Almost everyone who reads it, but does not read into it, thinks that it is about a first sexual experiance :p . The last line kind of gives away the true meaning though, esspecially by personyfing Fear and having it capitalized. i was close though. the process of writing is technically still a part of academia. :p

I like it. I like how the diction flows. For being scared to write it, you did a good job! :)

axon
12-31-2003, 03:09 AM
>>i was close though. the process of writing is technically still a part of academia. :p

thats true!

>>I like it. I like how the diction flows. For being scared to write it, you did a good job! :)

thanks for the feedback!