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Leeman_s
12-04-2003, 05:34 PM
Ok, this is the scenario I am in:

All my life, I've been a comptetitive swimmer. Two times during my career, theres been times where I've near quit, because I didn't think I liked it anymore. But my parents convinced me to keep in it. So I did. Now I'm in my junior year of highschool, and the season has just started up. I've been to two weeks of practice, and I think I want to quit. All my life I've felt like I'm expected to swim, so I just do it. I don't really enjoy the actual activity (swimming), and don't like any of the other team members. All of my friends do cross country/track, which I tried this year, and liked it 10x better than swimming. So in all, I don't think I like swimming competitively. It ruins the idea of leisure swimming as well, and it also REALLY dries out your skin and makes your hair fall out, with as much swimming as we have to do. I'm good enough that I just barely missed out on going to HS State freshman and sophomore year, and this year I would definitely go (I think) if I keep in it. But I don't think I like it. My parents don't listen, and think it's just because of the other team members, and since I don't like them, they are actually choosing my fate. They try to explain that I'm letting them, since I don't like them and don't try to be friends with them, make my decision and make me quit. But I just think I don't like it anymore.

I could go the carpe diem route, and not continue with the season. This would be a HUGE change in my life. HUGE!

Or I could go the normal way, and keep swimming, like I'm expected to.

How important is having a good sport for college? My GPA is around a 4.0 (3.9 or so), haven't taken the ACT yet.

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Lurker
12-04-2003, 05:39 PM
I think you should finish the season. If you decide you like it, then stay. If you decide track is better, go for that. I believe leaving now would be irresponsible to the team and the school. But either way, it's still your choice :D .

Govtcheez
12-04-2003, 05:40 PM
> How important is having a good sport for college?

It looks good, but it's not going to decide you getting into a school unless you get a scholarship or don't do anything beyond that, extracurricular-wise.

Give serious thought to why you're doing it. If you're just doing it because people expect you to and you really don't enjoy it at all, I'd quit. If you do quit, though, you'll inevitably find something you missed that you didn't think of before.

Don't put your faith in a poll on the Internet; it's gotta be what you feel like.

edit: PS Cross is WAAAAYYY better than that lame swimming crap ;)

MrWizard
12-04-2003, 06:02 PM
All I can tell you is if I stopped enjoying a sport I played for school I would quit.

1veedo
12-04-2003, 06:10 PM
Originally posted by MrWizard
All I can tell you is if I stopped enjoying a sport I played for school I would quit.
I would join cross country, and track too

Jeremy G
12-04-2003, 06:17 PM
Speedos are reason enough to quit ANY sport. I suggest, nay, I demand on behalf of mankind you sease to wear speedos, and any other revealing clothing.

JaWiB
12-04-2003, 06:27 PM
If you really don't like it, and you have done it for some time, then I say quit...But don't take my word for it; what can you gain from doing swimming? And what if you quit? If the only reason is to please your parents and to help yourself get into college, then it doesn't seem to worthwhile. For excercise you could do track, and you could probably still get into a good college if you keep up good grades and do some extracurricular stuff...

Jeremy G
12-04-2003, 06:31 PM
Join marching band, I hear thats cool.










BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA excuse me while i die laughing.

Lurker
12-04-2003, 06:33 PM
dbgt goten, I can't tell if you are in a bad mood or if you just hate highschool kids :D .

-KEN-
12-04-2003, 07:12 PM
Either quit or kill yourself. Problem solved either way.

Thantos
12-04-2003, 07:22 PM
Quit the swimming thing and do a real man's sport....long distance rifle shooting (with iron sights).

Fahrenheit
12-04-2003, 08:43 PM
Originally posted by dbgt goten
Join marching band, I hear thats cool.










BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA excuse me while i die laughing.

You're cool.

Leeman_s
12-04-2003, 08:53 PM
Ok, so I skipped practice today because I want to quit. Now my parents said they are NOT going to let me quit. And plus I'm grounded on saturday night because of it. What's the next course of action? I mean, free will; I don't really have to keep at it. I'd just face my parents wrath. What to do?

-KEN-
12-04-2003, 09:03 PM
Originally posted by Leeman_s
Ok, so I skipped practice today because I want to quit. Now my parents said they are NOT going to let me quit. And plus I'm grounded on saturday night because of it. What's the next course of action? I mean, free will; I don't really have to keep at it. I'd just face my parents wrath. What to do?

Grow a pair.

UnregdRegd
12-04-2003, 09:04 PM
You're nearly an adult now so you've got to stand up to your parents if they believe so strongly they know what's best for you that they make important life-altering decisions for you. Your intuition is trying to tell you something: that you're denying yourself what you rather be doing only because, "Mother/Father knows best."

Weigh the costs and benefits of each choice:



1. Stick with competitive swimming.
A. Be around people whom you you don't care for.
B. Suffer minor physical nuisances.
a. Dry skin.
b. Some hair loss.
C. Participate in something you don't enjoy.
2. Quit competitive swimming.
-- Consideration: The season has not begun yet.
A. And don't do any sports.
a. More free time for studying and working.
b. Negative effect on applying for colleges and being awarded scholarships.
B. And try out for cross country/track.
a. Some of your teammates would be friends.
b. It may not look quite as good as sticking with one sport throughout high school,
but at least it's an extracurricular activity.
c. Participate in something you think you'd enjoy.

Leeman_s
12-04-2003, 09:07 PM
I know 100% I'm going to continue with track/cross country. If I quit swimming, I'm going to be weightlifting seriously until track season. So it's not like I'm quitting because I'm lazy.

Thantos
12-04-2003, 09:12 PM
You mentioned your parents not letting you quit. Have you sat down with them and calmly explain your feelings? If they won't listen then talk to your coach. I'm confident that if they are worth anything they will help you with your parents. A good coach wouldn't want someone on their team who doesn't really want to be there.
I do have to say that just skipping practice out of the blue is not very fair to the other people involved. As Ken said, grow a pair and tell them how you feel.

Leeman_s
12-04-2003, 09:27 PM
I've talked to them MANY times before. Yesterday before I went to bed, I told them about it, and said why. They just plain say I'm WRONG about why I want to quit. They don't listen at all. And when I skipped, I said it was because of what I said earlier. Then he's like "well, i'm not going to LET you quit". As for my coach, he's been my coach since about....6 years old...now I'm almost 17. So I know him well, but he might not be supportive of me quitting. He's a pretty die-hard coach, even though I know him well he might not be supportive.

What now?

Thantos
12-04-2003, 09:57 PM
School counsler, trusted adult, clergy member, aunt/uncle, etc....

Leeman_s
12-04-2003, 10:08 PM
As being 16, 17 in february, do I actually have any rights as a child or whatever I am? Like, if I didn't swim, things could get ugly. What if they decided to take control of my money accounts, etc. Is that legal for them? And another dispute was with my job. I want to quit my job. But they won't LET me. If I wanted a different job, can I get it on my own without my parents?

Like what rights do 16 year olds have? Anything new at 17? Can they take my money? And if I just plain disobey them, don't listen to what they say, the only way to force me is being physical. If they do that, isn't that getting into law stuff etc?

Thantos
12-04-2003, 10:13 PM
So you want to quit a sport you've been doing for a long ass time and quit your job at the same time. Ok I'd be worried if I were your parents also. Sounds like you should talk to a professional about this.

JaWiB
12-04-2003, 10:23 PM
Sounds like you need to hold on off one of the two things for now...I knew what it was like to have my parents make me do a sport that I hate (track) and I had to go through the season being miserable...I don't know about the money issue; it seems like they probably have control over your accounts so you might be screwed there, but if you really want to quit swimming, they will probably give in if you show them you dislike swimming enough that it doesn't matter what they do. If I were you I would listen to what they say, but keep telling them you don't want to do it. I doubt they'll let you quit swimming and your job at the same time, though.

Leeman_s
12-04-2003, 10:24 PM
It's just that I want a different job. I thought I'd like working 4 hours per week for a school co-op in info networking/technology. I can't stand it really. And like I said, I want to 'switch sports' not just quit altogehter. You seriously think im crazy for this?

Leeman_s
12-04-2003, 10:26 PM
The job I don't care about as much. But the swimming, I do. It's just that I think if I wasn't swimming, they'd get nasty and do things like:

Not let me use money.
Not let me use computer.
Not let me watch TV.
Not let me hang out with friends.
Basically create hell for me.

Jeremy G
12-04-2003, 10:26 PM
Originally posted by w00tsoft
You're cool.
No, Im not. I WAS in marching band. It is why i say with such hysterical laughter "Its cool". Even band knows band isnt cool, we just dont care.


Lurker, on the contrary im in a good mood. Im pretty sure my signature says something about my posts being in good humor!


But yeh, I hated highschool. college is soo much better.

JaWiB
12-04-2003, 10:34 PM
You don't necessarily have to quit to stop swimming, just keep reminding them that you want to be doing a different sport. They wont be likely to punish you for voicing your opinion, and it will probably make them feel guilty if they start to think that your opinion is valid.

Thantos
12-04-2003, 10:55 PM
Never said I thought you were crazy. I do think some family counselling would be a good idea. There is an obvious lack of communication and trust going on.

Govtcheez
12-04-2003, 11:17 PM
Originally posted by Thantos
Never said I thought you were crazy. I do think some family counselling would be a good idea. There is an obvious lack of communication and trust going on.
The man with the plan...

Thantos
12-05-2003, 12:16 AM
The man with the plan...
Been there done that and all I got was this lousy t-shirt

adrianxw
12-05-2003, 03:45 AM
I hate it when I see parents pushing their kids to acheive their owns ends - "to be proud of him at dinner parties" and the like - makes me sick. My mother ruined my childhood by pushing and pushing me into finance as a career when all I was interested in was science.

Eventually I rebelled, quit all but one economic exam and sat all my science exams - told her to ++++ off, and stop making my life a misery.

Saw my mother in May this year - first time for 5+ years - I think finally she has started to get the idea of just how much I hated her for what she had done.

Okay - not sport - but similar. Hell, there is no way I would play/do a sport if I wasn't getting anything out of it.

Print this out and give it to your mother. Get her to PM me if she has questions. That makes me SO mad.

-KEN-
12-05-2003, 05:39 AM
Originally posted by adrianxw
I hate it when I see parents pushing their kids to acheive their owns ends - "to be proud of him at dinner parties" and the like - makes me sick. My mother ruined my childhood by pushing and pushing me into finance as a career when all I was interested in was science.

Eventually I rebelled, quit all but one economic exam and sat all my science exams - told her to ++++ off, and stop making my life a misery.

Saw my mother in May this year - first time for 5+ years - I think finally she has started to get the idea of just how much I hated her for what she had done.

Okay - not sport - but similar. Hell, there is no way I would play/do a sport if I wasn't getting anything out of it.

Print this out and give it to your mother. Get her to PM me if she has questions. That makes me SO mad.

Something tells me that she wouldn't give a flying hoot what you think :).

Tell your parents at a better time that you hate swimming and you're not going to do it anymore. Make it final. Say there's no discussion about it, and that there's no point in doing a sport that you hate.

Or....just tell your coach you quit and pretend go to practice and whatever for your parents. Go get drunk with your friends instead, then come home and tell your parents that your coach gave you guys liquor for being so good. They won't make you go anymore.

My parents forced me to play sports like that and that's why I refuse to do any through highschool, I think. I loved basketball, but my dad forced me to go even when I really loathed it, etc. He also forced me to go to every soccer thing, and God did I ever hate soccer.

adrianxw
12-05-2003, 06:54 AM
>>> she wouldn't give a flying hoot what you think

She might be interested to know that instead of a loving son with a glittering career and a cupboard full of sporting trophies she can point to when her friends are there, she risks ending up with an alienated stranger who hates her guts openly - ooooh, that doesn't look quite so good in front of the neighbours.

Leeman_s
12-06-2003, 12:59 PM
Here's the main reason they won't let me quit:

They say they've put 7 years of time, effort, and money for me to swim, and now I owe it to them to keep swimming. They say, think about it like this: It's a challenge. Or think of it as you paying us off. You owe us x credits, and each time you go to practice you are paying off those credits.

Bah, what stupid reasons...

adrianxw
12-07-2003, 05:38 AM
I find that shocking. Absolutely obscene.