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Liger86
09-18-2003, 03:46 PM
Hi guys! I need some advice on my current situation in my family.

I got some really mean parents, just imagine, my dad just drives me nuts, to the point where it gets physical. So I want to get out of my house and go to a friendís house who offered me to live with him.

Problem is Iím not 18 so I donít really know my rights, (I havenít taken law yet). Can I legally leave my house to live somewhere else or do I need to put my dad in jail (I can, there was like another police report filed earlier) in order to get out of the house?

Any (legal) advice is good!

Hammer
09-18-2003, 04:00 PM
Well, I guess "legal" advice is going to depend on where you live (country etc). As you're currently located "in your toilet", the best thing I can suggest it get out and find a local authoritive figure who can guide you. Maybe someone at school, a guidance councillor/teacher for example, might be able to point you in the right direction.

Govtcheez
09-18-2003, 04:02 PM
The results will vary based on where you are, but I hope you get out of there ok

Liger86
09-18-2003, 04:04 PM
I live in USA, Michigan!

I hope that helps! on helping me figure out a solution! Thanks!

Govtcheez
09-18-2003, 04:10 PM
Yes, you can move out.

edit: where in MI?

joshdick
09-18-2003, 04:47 PM
Go to see the authorities on family problems. Where I'm from, that's the Children and Youth Services. It probably goes by a different name where you are. Regardless, there are people whose job it is to help persons in situations like your own. My suggestion is to seek out a case worker at such a place and just explain the situation to them.

Liger86
09-18-2003, 05:26 PM
I did however notify athorities at one of the previous insidents, but I regret it now.

It was a bit crazy at first, my lack of knowledge really cracked on me. My teacher had me go outside to talk to him why I wasn't doing my work, so I told him about what happened, but by the law he had to tell the athorities, and that is what he did. But that is what I didn't want him to do.

So this time I won't take it up to athorities, 'cause they just won't do anything exept put my dad in jail.

What I want is to know my (legal) rights and just leave the house! That is my best way out. I don't want my dad in jail, because he got two other kids to take care of... Who knows.

>>Yes, you can move out.

Do I need any paperwork, or is my dad going to be held legally responsible for signing my papers that need parent or guardian signature?

Govtcheez
09-18-2003, 06:19 PM
> but I regret it now.

What the hell for?

> So this time I won't take it up to athorities, 'cause they just won't do anything exept put my dad in jail.

Sounds like a little time in there might be good for him.

Do you have any relatives you can live with?

> Do I need any paperwork, or is my dad going to be held legally responsible for signing my papers that need parent or guardian signature?

I don't know why you would, but we're probably not the best people to ask.

joshdick
09-18-2003, 06:53 PM
If you want to know your legal rights, ask an attorney.

If you really have no clue where to go for help, you could just go to your local municipal building and keep asking questions and telling your story. No one in a municipal building is out to get you. Everyone should either be able to help you or tell you who can.

Xei
09-19-2003, 12:09 AM
I think that if he is physically abusing you that you should pick up any convenient, nearby, inanimate object and smash him upside the head repeatedly until he is no longer able to harm you. Since you are underage you will likely goto an orphanage or something similar. Another solution may be to find someone (possibly from this board) and take a bus and stay with them for a while(if your father has such 'qualities' then he likely wont care where you went). Anyways, hang in there!

napkin111
09-19-2003, 02:43 AM
I moved out the day before I was 18 due (mainly) to religious clashes with my parents. I currently live with a friend and his parents who are nice enough to let me live with them (don't really have much contact with his parents, just kind of come and go), but I am working on a duplex I am moving in to. All of that is irrelevant I suppose...

Anyway, don't put up with 5#17 you don't deserve, and if they won't talk about it rationally (ie "I'm the parent, do what I say without question"), move out for sure.

I could be wrong heh...guess its all a matter of perspective.

//napKIN

EDIT: I see you were born Feb 1986, you could definently move out. What are they going to do? Call the cops and say "my 17 1/2 year old son moved out cause I abuse him"? Just make sure you have a job when you move out otherwise you will be pretty screwed unless you are living with some really nice people who want to give you free room/board/food/everything.

H&R
09-19-2003, 02:50 AM
Liger86, Hang in there pal, I think the advice posted so far is pretty good, speak to the authorities social services or the US equivalent but if youíre concerned that things might go pear shaped you maybe need to think about whatís going on at home are you and Dad just losing it with each other or is the old man just a violent beating the kids up type. If itís the latter then the authorities need to know not just for you but for the others, if that mean a jail term then itíll give time to reflect and hopefully change. If you and the old man are just winding each other up them maybe the authorities isnít such a good idea. Me and my Dad had similar problems for about six years, no violence but thatís just us we are neither of us violent, we got to the point were we wouldnít speak to each other or even be in the same room, but as time wore on I got older he got older and what was really happening was me growing up trying to assert myself in his house and him feeling like he was losing control. what solved the problem was time, football, we rebuilt our relationship through going to Anfield together, for years our only conversations were about footy, and the birth of my little boy it was like ďHa you try and be good at thisĒ it made me realise some of what went on was me being a pain (at one point I was determined to change my name to Zaphod Bebblebrox).Shakes head in disgust. The point being that what could be happening is a power struggle between two guy's in the same house.
Where is you mom in all this? Is she someone you can talk to? Even just to say ďListen mom I canít deal with this, Iím gonna stay with Billy-bob for a while let things settle downĒ.

If the above helps, smashin. If not I hope something on the board does, but it would nice if you could bump the thread every once in a while let us know how youíre doin.

TTFN

PS: I hope the smash him on the head suggestion was light hearted, you want the system on your side not his

rick barclay
09-19-2003, 04:06 AM
Go live with your friend, and screw the law and your father.
He might even respect you more. The sooner anyone gets out
of the parents house and out on their own, the better off everyone is. My father was a drinker who drove me nuts, and
I moved out on my 21st birthday. The freedom I had was
a beautiful thing, cleared my head, and made my father finally
realize I was my own person. When I moved out I was out of
school and gainfully employed, so I was able to support myself.
Hopefully, you have a job and can pay whoever puts you up
rent. If you don't pay rent and eat at your friend's house, there
will be a short grace period where you'll be welcome, but at some
point if you don't pay your way then they'll look upon you as a moocher. True independence comes only with the ability to
support yourself, to pay your through life and not have to depend
upon the charity of others. I've seen it and lived it from both sides.

Look out for Number One first.

Waldo2k2
09-19-2003, 12:42 PM
you don't have to go to the authorities.
If you move out, he'll probably report you missing or have hte cops come get you...to avoid all that ask your councelor at school to help you contact a CHILD ADVOCACY LAWYER. They work for free and can get you emancipated legally.

kermi3
09-19-2003, 12:56 PM
You may be able to go to the school counciler and ask if you can speak to him confidentially and find all of these things out. You may even be able to do it without telling him exactly what the problem is so that he doesn't have to report it.

However, your dad has no right to hit you. I know you don't want to see him thrown in jail, but you in no way deserve to be hit either. He's doing something wrong, not you.

Liger86
09-19-2003, 01:58 PM
Carefull, there is a lot to read! :)


H&R>>Where is you mom in all this? Is she someone you can talk to? Even just to say ďListen mom I canít deal with this, Iím gonna stay with Billy-bob for a while let things settle downĒ.

My mother currently resides in one of middle eastern countries. She is not from around there. I tried to talk to her about taking me over there, but my father is a "J" (get it?), I would get killed there if they found out what nationality my Dad is. But my mom's husband is from middle east (won't mention the country), he would not mind me with him and his fammily but things could get iffy, I will have to learn the language all over.

And in the end, wouldn't we all agree that America is one of the best countries in the world to live in? I mean - I don't want to leave the country!

Xei>>I think that if he is physically abusing you that you should pick up any convenient, nearby, inanimate object and smash him upside the head repeatedly until he is no longer able to harm you.

It's kind of hard... He is twice the size, and pretty angry. Besides I have absolutely no advantage over him, I don't work out - not many geeks do!? - and I have never tried to fight back. Fighting back isn't my style, but when the last time this happened and I had an AK near by, I would for sure empty entire clip right there on the spot.

rick barclay>>Go live with your friend, and screw the law and your father.

Friend yes, screw the law no. If I leave to live at my friend's house - how's parents don't mind (I think) - I wan't so that my Dad has absolutely no controlll over me. Besides when I'll go to secretery of state and tell them If I can change my address they will probably tell me I need to be 18, but I don't know do you guys, can I change my address if not 18?

Waldo2k2>>If you move out, he'll probably report you missing or have hte cops come get you...to avoid all that ask your councelor at school to help you contact a CHILD ADVOCACY LAWYER. They work for free and can get you emancipated legally.

Yes, I think I'll do that, talk to a "CHILD ADVOCACY LAWYER". Do they have a site where I can e-mail them and tell them my problem and the solution that I want?

Xei>>Another solution may be to find someone (possibly from this board) and take a bus and stay with them for a while(if your father has such 'qualities' then he likely wont care where you went).

Who would ever go on that offer. I mean, that ok with me, I don't mind paying rent and such, but how much of security will I have with anyone I meet on this board, probably not much? So I'll stick with people I know (1 person) and then move to people I don't (lots).

kermi3>>He's doing something wrong, not you.

I don't know, I have been getting "E"'s in school so that is why he angry all the time at me, but why go physicall because of that?

Well, right now I'm really lost. I really just want to come home one of these days and put a piece of paper on my desk that would say that he is no longer responsible for me and that I can move out legally. And just leave the house that same day and move to my friend'.

I'm pretty sure that I won't be a pain in the butt, 'cause if I do move to my friends house I'll pay for things that is for sure. I think that helping around the house, maybe paying for DSL, filling up the fridge, , garbage service and some other things would make their life easier!? I do have a job and I can make quite a bit of money off my work, but not enough to support myself. I think that if I do move to my friend that it will be for about two years. It could get annoying for his parents, but after those two years I'm trying to get my butt into the Navy and make some money there, not to mention all the muscle that I'll get for a bonus on getting revenge on my dad. But I don't beleave in revenge.

After I go through the Navy, like about five years... I could get enough money and skills to go out on my own and do programming for Ensemble Studios - that's my long term goal! Microsoft could be a good goal too, but I'f I go there I'll try to take it over (without the use of force, the traditional way). :cool: Watch out Gates, here I come!

My ICQ is 199177950, just in case you want to say somehting personal, or just for fun.

Govtcheez
09-19-2003, 02:57 PM
> I don't know, I have been getting "E"'s in school so that is why he angry all the time at me

It doesn't matter. If he's hitting you for any reason, it's his fault, NOT yours. Don't give him excuses.

Where in MI, again?

Waldo2k2
09-19-2003, 03:14 PM
>>Yes, I think I'll do that, talk to a "CHILD ADVOCACY LAWYER". Do they have a site where I can e-mail them and tell them my problem and the solution that I want?

lol, i put child advocacy lawyer in caps so that you wouldn't miss it.

I'm almost positive they work for the state, but im not sure, you'll have to get in touch with your counselor or something over that (or visit www.legalmatch.com to find one in your area)....oh btw, here's a list of people who have to contact DCFS or the police if you should talk to them about your dad:
* physicians
* psychiatrists, surgeons
* residents
* interns
* dentists
* dental hygienists
* medical examiners
* pathologists
* pathologists
* osteopaths
* coroners
* Christian Science practitioners
* chiropractors
* podiatrists
* registered and licensed practical nurses
* emergency medical technicians
* hospital administrators and other personnel involved in the examination
* care or treatment of patients
* teachers
* school personnel
* educational advocates assigned to a child pursuant to the School Code
* truant officers
* directors and staff assistants of day care centers and nursery schools
* child care workers
* truant officers
* probation officers
* law enforcement officers
* field personnel of the Departments of Children and Family Services
* Public Health, Public Aid
* Human Services (acting as successor to the Departmentof Mental Health & Developmental Disabilities Rehabilitation Services, or Public Aid)
* Corrections
* Human Rights

frenchfry164
09-19-2003, 03:14 PM
E's? Where I'm from it's just ABCDF. Is that like between a D and a F?

If I get enough scholorship money I'd move out right now.

kermi3
09-19-2003, 03:28 PM
Liger -

You do not deserve to be hit.

Let me repeat that: You do not deserve to be hit.

Especially by your own father who should be there to support and help you.

You DO NOT have to make excuses for him. He's responsible for his own actions, not you. No matter what you do in school your father has no right to hit you. None whatsoever.

Remeber that - and if I were you I'd give some serious consideration to going to the authorities if he does it again. You may not be as strong as he is - but you shouldn't have to be. You shouldn't have to be scared of him. He's supposed to be your dad. Your mentor, someone you can trust and rely on. If he's chosen to give that up, then it's not your fault. It sucks big time, but it's not your fault. He chose to give that up when he hit you. You shouldn't have to sit there and be hit - no kid should.

You have the right not to be somewhere like that. You have the right to live somewhere where you can do well in schoool and go to the college you want. You have the right not to live afraid.

It's not your fault.

Xterria
09-20-2003, 06:42 PM
dye your hair a cool color, lift weights, cut out a muscle shirt, and start calling your dad 'punk', and show him who's boss biatch!

Leeman_s
09-20-2003, 06:59 PM
I would grab all of your money, and take off on your bike south, before it gets too cold. Find a job, at first live on the streets. Then perhaps move into an apartment or something.

Liger86
09-20-2003, 08:43 PM
I still haven't done anything... Tomorow I'm going to school so I'll think again.

I really hate my parents in general. They didn't stick around for long enough to give me a good life. I guess they failed as parents. I kind of hate my mother too, because she went on and married another man - so did my dad (he didn't marry a man :) ), but I care less about him.

Now I'm basically stuck with dad who is crazy and step-mom who wants nothing to do with me exept use me in any way possible, mostly money.

Man my life us a mess, I just have come back from seeng Secondhand Lions, and that boy's mother is kind of like my own, kind of, my mom is not that big on the money, but she could not afford to support me neather.

Liger86
09-20-2003, 08:48 PM
Originally posted by Leeman_s
I would grab all of your money, and take off on your bike south, before it gets too cold. Find a job, at first live on the streets. Then perhaps move into an apartment or something.

Sad thing about this, I actually consider this one of my options! :(