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View Full Version : My plan on how to conquer the universe



DavidP
10-30-2001, 07:41 PM
Here is how I plan to conquer the universe.

First, I must get a patent clerk drunk.
Then, once the patent clerk is drunk, I can easily convince the patent clerk to let me patent the 1 and the 0.
Once I patent the 1 and the 0, I will essentially own the rights to everything.

mfc2themax
10-30-2001, 07:55 PM
I already own those patents

DavidP
10-30-2001, 08:02 PM
D'oh! Well then....i will patent you....

gamegod3001
10-30-2001, 08:37 PM
To bad, I own the patetns to on and off. As well as myself, preventing anyone from patenting me. :p

Aran
10-30-2001, 09:25 PM
I own the patent to patents. hah, i own you all.

Procyon
10-30-2001, 09:26 PM
Sorry, Bill Gates beat you to it again...

http://www.theonion.com/onion3311/microsoftpatents.html

oskilian
10-30-2001, 10:00 PM
darn!, I thought it was my idea.

but oh hell, I'll think of another way..

Oskilian

Aran
10-30-2001, 10:08 PM
no you won't... without paying heavy fines at least.

I patented thinking about an hour ago.

oskilian
10-30-2001, 10:41 PM
AARRGGHH, I should havve thought of that, but you know, I am gonna patent heartbeating, each time you have a heartbeat, you should pay me 10 cents (USA cents).

Oskilian

no-one
10-31-2001, 01:10 AM
actually microsoft patented/(bought rights to) existence, the atom(and everything attributes to it), soup in general, monkeys and midgets, macaroni, cheese, and light, about a week back

mfc2themax
10-31-2001, 04:09 AM
and steve ballmer trademarked the word "Developers"
and patented sweat

Magos
10-31-2001, 05:49 AM
I might sound like a duma$$, but the part with Microsoft patenting 'ones' and 'zeros' was a joke... right?

mfc2themax
10-31-2001, 07:12 AM
>I might sound like a duma$$, but the part with Microsoft patenting 'ones' and 'zeros' was a joke... right?<

"Microsoft has not yet announced whether it will charge a user fee to individuals who wish to engage in such mathematically rooted motions as walking, stretching and smiling."

You decide......

gamegod3001
10-31-2001, 07:19 AM
I have just patented micro and soft.