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bookworm
07-08-2003, 10:30 PM
Funniest email I ever got!

To: Tech Support

Dear Sir,
Last year I upgraded my system from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began creating problems within the system processing and that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 2.3, Girlfriend 3.2 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the entire system whenever selected

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while running my other favorite applications. Whichever module or software I enter, only Wife 1.0 seems to run and nothing else.

I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall from Wife 1.0 to Girlfriend 7.0 does not work on this program. Can you help me, please!!!

Thanks,
Robert.
************************************************** **
Dear Robert,

This is a very common problem men users of the Wife 1.0 software complain about but it is mostly due to a primary misconception of the software.

Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.

Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed !!

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Worries Invited For Ever (Wife 1.0)".

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding general partnership faults (GPFs).

You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action to solve this major IT problem of yours will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.

In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.

Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend you to install the latest gift software like Flowers 2.1, Necklaces 3.2, and Chocolates 5.0.

note: Do not under any circumstances, install Secretary With Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application; in fact it is a deadly virus for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

regards,
Amlan.

mart_man00
07-08-2003, 10:33 PM
kind of old but still funny.

RoD
07-08-2003, 10:33 PM
old as the internet, 1/10 for effort

FloatingPoint
07-09-2003, 10:18 AM
I want it I want it I want it! :D

ammar
07-09-2003, 03:32 PM
wait until you see wife Xp!!!

sean
07-09-2003, 06:15 PM
No, no. I heard she had security problems.

incognito
07-09-2003, 07:06 PM
well hahaha I had not heard it before 7/10

frenchfry164
07-09-2003, 10:40 PM
How many times must this joke be posted on this forum? It's like it never dies.

PS: I'm not flaming you, so don't get your shorts in a wad.

napkin111
07-09-2003, 11:38 PM
LOL! Thats my first time seeing it and I find it totally hilarious, thanks for the laugh.

//napKIN

alpha
07-09-2003, 11:50 PM
I've seen it before, but not in a while. :p

ammar
07-10-2003, 04:46 AM
Originally posted by frenchfry164
It's like it never dies

That's also one of the special things about wife 1.0

MethodMan
07-10-2003, 09:01 AM
Havent heard that before.

It was pretty good, 7/10

RoD
07-10-2003, 10:31 AM
Originally posted by frenchfry164
It's like it never dies

I think i posted it once too

sean
07-10-2003, 11:22 AM
You know I heard about this guy down in St. George, Utah who figured out a way to install Wife 1.0, 2.0, and 3.0 all at the same time. Maybe he can help you with your problem.

FloatingPoint
07-11-2003, 09:14 AM
Hmm..on different partitions I suppose :D

FillYourBrain
07-11-2003, 09:37 AM
and why? if you thought Poker Night 2.3, Girlfriend 3.2 and Saturday Football 5.0 were a problem now, I'm thinking you're going to have some real headaches with your three partitions

FloatingPoint
07-11-2003, 09:42 AM
Yea, problems like the BSODs, memory leaks, system crashes which would evetually lead you to do a scandisk /fix and there might appear some bad sectors...

Might even end up reformatting one or two of those partitions...:D

RoD
07-11-2003, 10:41 AM
heres hoping u dont catch a Serial Trasmitted Dysfunction....haha