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Silvercord
06-01-2003, 07:34 PM
OKAY, whew, I just got done reading Krak's post. I'm sorry about how things have supposedly going for Krak, and I want things to get better for him, but I don't really know how to help. On the other hand, reading about his problems got me to thinking. I mean, a lot of the time I feel the exact same way as Krak, although things have been getting much better and I'm starting to succeed again in my life.

On the front page of the newspaper today was the first love of my life. The article talked about how she overcame diversity and got accepted to Harvard even though she grew up with no running water and was home schooled until seventh grade. I felt so bad because she has made so much out of her life, and I felt like I have been wasting my life away. I began feeling like I should just end it, because I would never be able to make anything out of myself. I felt like that for most of the day. I literally spent almost the entire day wondering if I shoudl just get my father's hunting rifle and end it all.

But then I started to think rationally and objectively. There are some truths to my feelings, it is true that I have crashed and burned in my junior year of high school. But then I also realized that just because I'm not a harvard level student doesn't mean I'm a complete loser. I would have strongly PREFERRED to have done much better thus far in my life (I've quit or dropped out of MANY thigns including ice hockey, all of the accelerated classes in school, guitar, piano, cello, the list goes on), and I honestly think that if I had applied myself I could've shined. Having opportunity and throwing it away is probably one of the worst feelings possible.

In the end, all this post was about was to just say that we are all just highly organized forms of energy thrown into an otherwise chaotic universe. Each and every one of us MUST make the choices that guide our lives until we become disassociated and are humans no longer. Krak needs to realize he isn't a completely bad person for $$$$ing up in school and not having girlfriends, and that his tough times can pass IF he chooses to put up a fight. I chose to think rationally and objectively about my situation and I decided that although I've wasted a lot I'm not going to sit back and feel sorry for myself. I'm basically going to turn around one last time, give the past the middle finger, and continue with my life. Krak buddy I hope you do the same.

I don't know if any of you guys care, agree, or will comment on this subject, but I think I've said a lot. and I think what I've said is important, although my grammar sucks.

Here's the article:
http://www.centralmaine.com/news/stories/030601culley_a.shtml

EDIT:
and i'm still in love with Rachel, so if you say anything about her breast size I'm going to pull a Jay and Silent bob on your ass except I'm going to cut your throat and gouge your eyes out :)

RoD
06-01-2003, 08:55 PM
I cant really relate, as i have never thought about seriously ending my own life. Its just not in my thought process, maybe i am just that way...

Zach L.
06-01-2003, 09:13 PM
I can't say that I've ever had that particular experience either, though I would definitely say that your attitude about just moving on is the right one.

confuted
06-02-2003, 05:15 PM
Silvercord, thanks to your comment, I read this line incorrectly. Twice.

...to move slowly around horses and be calm and patient with the large beasts.

Now, to make this post useful. For inspiration, you might find the following things helpful. Watch the first, read the second. Do both.

Dead Poet's Society.

Atlas Shrugged (by Ayn Rand)

Yeah, so now maybe people on the boards will think I'm a loser...oh well. The fact remains that it's good stuff.

Dalren
06-02-2003, 06:20 PM
Blackrat, that happens to be one of my favorite movies, and my favorite book. Im always scared when I start to have things in common with people on this board
... runs aways to hide

confuted
06-02-2003, 09:17 PM
It's my favorite book as well. It changed my life...