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View Full Version : Take my oreo, you die...



Cheeze-It
05-13-2003, 01:24 AM
http://www.forbes.com/markets/newswire/2003/05/12/rtr968320.html

I don't care about what's in an oreo, they're delicious... It's a
cookie! If there's one universal trait of the cookie, it's that it
is not a healthy food.

"Oh my God! This cookie is making me fat!!! :eek: "

No, the cookie is designed for one purpose: to inflict "tastebudial"
pleasure on the consumer. In this, the oreo has always managed
to succeed. Not only in the cookie-world, either. Anybody ever had
Cookies and Cream Ice Cream? It's the best flavor ever. What
happens to that if this guy is successful in his lawsuit? Not only do
we lose the greatest cookie ever, but the greatest ice cream, too.
I don't think people realize just how important the Oreo is to
modern day society. We can't allow this person to win!

Next thing you know, Pizza Hut will be sued because their pizzas
inlclude cheese. Ooh, speaking of The Hut, I just saw on TV that
they've brought back the P'Zone! Yay!

This Oreo news couldn't have come at a worse time in my life...
Two days ago I found out that my local 7-11 won't be carrying
Fig Newtons anymore. They've been selling them off at a reduced
price. Normally they're $0.65 for a pack of two, but they've been
reduced to $0.38 until the inventory is cleared out. This is only
one of two stores that I know of that carry this specific type of
Newton.

HybridM
05-13-2003, 04:59 AM
The Oreo is permeating Australia now...I don't like that, things are getting so American here now, and itís disheartening. One thing I will say though is I agree on the cookies and cream ice cream, it is (one of) the best flavours.

Also, i don't know what Pizza Hut is like in the states now, but they have REALLY gone downhill here, their pizzas are just plain disgusting. They use the cheapest ingredients, and as little as possible at that. Pizza Hut used to be very nice, but the restaurants are almost deserted these days, I prefer my local pizza place they make the best pizzas Iíve ever had.

-Hybrid

P.S. I'm 17 and already bitter :D

Edit: we don't have those fig things here.
Edit 2: Getting sick of stupid lawsuits like this too. It's like those kids (in America, naturally) suing the fast food companies, as if they really didn't know it was bad for them.

RoD
05-13-2003, 03:41 PM
ethic i am more than willing to take up arms with u for the cause!! Touch my oreo and die!

Govtcheez
05-13-2003, 04:38 PM
Originally posted by ethic
I just saw on TV that they've brought back the P'Zone! Yay! I saw that, and you were the first person I thought of

Xei
05-13-2003, 05:17 PM
Holy $$$$, people who sue for such 'pathetic causes' deserve to die. May as well sue CocaCola for having Phosphorous in their drinks, should probably sue headphone manufacturers for not warning the users that excessive volume may hurt their ears, should sue fast food restaurants for not puting the 'Ingredients' on the outside of the burger, may as well sue every city in the world claiming that 'red lights' just arn't visible enough ;)... hell, may as well sue your neighbors for allowing their dogs to bark at you, could probably get away with sueing any canola oil producing company because they don't put "excessive amounts are unsafe", and could definately get away with sueing companys who sell bacon at this rate. Oh well, I'm sure that Kraft could prove that Oreos didn't make him fat, plus: Don't the boxes have Calorie charts on them anyways? I think they do, hell even juice boxes do.

RoD
05-13-2003, 05:38 PM
Originally posted by Xei
Holy $$$$, people who sue for such 'pathetic causes' deserve to die. May as well sue CocaCola for having Phosphorous in their drinks, should probably sue headphone manufacturers for not warning the users that excessive volume may hurt their ears, should sue fast food restaurants for not puting the 'Ingredients' on the outside of the burger, may as well sue every city in the world claiming that 'red lights' just arn't visible enough ;)... hell, may as well sue your neighbors for allowing their dogs to bark at you, could probably get away with sueing any canola oil producing company because they don't put "excessive amounts are unsafe", and could definately get away with sueing companys who sell bacon at this rate. Oh well, I'm sure that Kraft could prove that Oreos didn't make him fat, plus: Don't the boxes have Calorie charts on them anyways? I think they do, hell even juice boxes do.

dont give them any ideas.....

confuted
05-13-2003, 05:58 PM
They DO have warnings on headphones about excessive volume. As well as listening to them when walking, biking, or driving. Fast food restaurants have ingredient lists available. I agree, though...the lawsuits are ridiculous. You shouldn't be allowed to sue just because you are a dumbass.

the Wookie
05-13-2003, 06:10 PM
did anyone hear about the guy who sued starbucks for getting his penis stuck between the toilet seat and the ceramic? he won too.

or the guy who kept his laptop on his lap and the heat burned his legs..he sued dell and won. i think you would know that the laptop is getting hot and move it off of your lap before it burned you.

people are morons...i wonder if you can sue for stupidity

Xei
05-13-2003, 06:19 PM
lol, we should think about sueing our parents because of the pigment of our skin. Hehe.

This gives me a new idea: Sue the CBoard! (I'm sure we could find a post with religous contexts in it somewhere...) Actually, I'm just kidding.

RoD
05-13-2003, 06:19 PM
My fav lawsuit ever:

Guy buys some cigars and insures them against fire. He then smokes them and sues the insurance company to pay up. He wins the lawsuit for like a million dollars or whatever and the insurance company has him arrested and prosecuted for arson hehe.

Xei
05-13-2003, 06:21 PM
Originally posted by RoD
My fav lawsuit ever:

Guy buys some cigars and insures them against fire. He then smokes them and sues the insurance company to pay up. He wins the lawsuit for like a million dollars or whatever and the insurance company has him arrested and prosecuted for arson hehe.

lol, thats great!

RoD
05-13-2003, 06:24 PM
or the guy who broke into a family's house while they were on vacation. He got locked in the garage and when they came home 7 days later he sued them for not having a way to open the door manually from the inside (or cuz there wasnt food i forget)

biosninja
05-13-2003, 07:31 PM
...as long as i can still have my oreo mcflurry...i'm happy

XSquared
05-13-2003, 07:53 PM
>>or the guy who kept his laptop on his lap and the heat burned his legs..

If I remember correctly, he burnt more than just his legs...

TravisS
05-13-2003, 07:58 PM
yeah.... I would have sued if i burnt *that* as well.

HybridM
05-13-2003, 09:45 PM
A man fleeing from a house he had just robbed jumped the house's fence and hurt himself. Naturally, he sued them for not having a sign saying you could hurt yourself if you jumped the fence...i don't think he won, though.

GoodStuff
05-14-2003, 12:14 AM
You Americans and you lawsuits!

There should be a law banning lawsuits that try to pin a person's misfortune on some outside party if it was a result of their own actions!

That is the biggest loophole in your justice system. People don't want to take responsibility for their actions, and they don't want to apply common sense. And the system supports them!

Ethic, if you think it might work, you should start a lawsuit against Mr Stephen Joseph for gross misapplication of an oreo cookie. Oreo cookies were NEVER made to promote health. And one or two cookies are definately not life-threatening. Worst he can ask for is a label.

Gus

HybridM
05-14-2003, 02:07 AM
Yeah that's the problem, it's all about blame, it's always someone elses fault.

novacain
05-14-2003, 02:23 AM
Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the road. The owner's manual did not say that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.

Or the inmate who sued himself for $5 mill claiming his getting caught and arrested violated his OWN civil rights. Since he was a ward of the state he expected the government to pay.


>> Ethic, if you think it might work, you should start a lawsuit against Mr Stephen Joseph for gross misapplication of an oreo cookie. Oreo cookies were NEVER made to promote health<<

If he wins sue him and Kraft for the loss of quality of life (emotional distress, mental anguish ect) you will suffer for not having Oreos..............

adrianxw
05-14-2003, 02:51 AM
It's entertaining, (from the outside), to watch the workings of the extreme capitalist gimmee-gimmee culture. I suggest you train more lawyers!

You created it, you deserve it!