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View Full Version : Revenge of the Face_Master!



Brian
02-26-2003, 06:40 PM
not for the faint of heart (http://www.legcramp.co.uk/blah.html)

napkin111
02-26-2003, 09:20 PM
Wow, if you cross your eyes a bit (like those old magic eyes) it pops out at you!

//napKIN

Waldo2k2
02-26-2003, 09:48 PM
SUH-WEET!

But i think it needs some good tunes to go with all tha head banging.

Xei
02-27-2003, 12:23 AM
God (or any other supernatural entity which has the equivilant) save us all...

Travis Dane
02-27-2003, 08:09 AM
For some reason, I can look for ages at that...

VegasSte
02-27-2003, 10:38 AM
Er.......help me!
Mummy?
Noooooooooooooo
:runs screaming from the room:

Brian
02-27-2003, 10:39 AM
Updated with sound. It's a cacky whiney midi version of Nirvana's classic "Smells Like Teen Spirit". If anyone can find a more fitting song, then post here.

hehehe.

Travis Dane
02-27-2003, 10:47 AM
Are you infected or something? And trying to cast thou curse
upon us?

Brian
02-27-2003, 10:51 AM
>>Imagine if, instead of incomprehensible geeky text strings, your
>>computer produced error messages in Haiku . . .
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>First snow, then silence.
>>This thousand dollar screen dies
>>so beautifully.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>With searching comes loss
>>and the presence of absence:
>>"My Novel" not found.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>A file that big?
>>It might be very useful.
>>But now it is gone.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>The Web site you seek
>>cannot be located.
>>But endless others exist.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>Chaos reigns within.
>>Reflect, repent, and reboot.
>>Order shall return.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>Aborted effort.
>>Close all that you have.
>>You ask far too much.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>The Tao that is seen
>>Is not the true Tao, until
>>You bring fresh toner.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>Windows NT crashed.
>>I am the Blue Screen of Death.
>>No one hears your screams.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>Stay the patient course.
>>Of little worth is your ire:
>>The network is down.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>A crash reduces
>>your expensive computer
>>to a simple stone.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>Yesterday it worked.
>>Today it is not working.
>>Windows is like that.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>Three things are certain:
>>Death, taxes, and lost data.
>>Guess which has occurred.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>You step in the stream,
>>but the water has moved on.
>>This page is not here.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>Out of memory.
>>We wish to hold the whole sky,
>>But we never will.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>Having been erased,
>>The document you're seeking
>>Must now be retyped.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>Rather than a beep
>>Or a rude error message,
>>These words: "File not found."
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>Serious error.
>>All shortcuts have disappeared.
>>Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
>>
>>* * * * *

VegasSte
02-27-2003, 10:53 AM
Er........O.K.
Do you have too much spare time on your hands or what?

Brian
02-27-2003, 10:55 AM
or...


Subject: JM: HUMANDNA.H

[Author unknown.]

For many years molecular biologists have been mystified by the fact
that very little of an organism's DNA seems to serve any useful
function.

I have solved the mystery.

The reason why only 30% of human DNA performs any useful function is that
the rest of it is comments.

Once we decode a typical human genome, we see that the contents begin as
follows:

=================

/* HUMAN_DNA.H
*
* Human Genome
* Version 2.1
*
* (C) God
*/

/* Revision history:
*
* 0000-00-01 00:00 1.0 Adam.
* 0000-00-02 10:00 1.1 Eve.
* 0000-00-03 02:11 1.2 Added penis code to male version. A bit messy --
* will require a rewrite later on to make it
* neater.
* 0017-03-12 03:14 1.3 Added extra sex drive to male.h; took code from
* elephant-dna.c
* 0145-10-03 16:33 1.4 Removed tail.
* 1115-00-31 17:20 1.5 Shortened forearms, expanded brain case.
* 2091-08-20 13:56 1.6 Opposable thumbs added to hand() routine.
* 2501-04-09 14:04 1.7 Minor cosmetic improvements -- skin colour made
* darker to match my own image.
* 2909-07-12 02:21 1.8 Dentition inadequate; added extra 'wisdom'
* teeth.
* Must remember to make mouth bigger to
* compensate.
* 4501-12-31 14:18 1.9 Increase average height.
* 5533-02-12 17:09 2.0 Added gay option, triggered by high population
* density, to try and slow the overpopulation
* problem.
* 6004-11-04 16:11 2.1 Made forefinger narrower to fit hole in centre
* of CD.
*/

/* Standard definitions
*/

#define SEX male
#define HEIGHT 1.84
#define MASS 68
#define RACE caucasian

/* Include inherited traits from parent DNA files.
*
* Files must be pre-processed with MENDEL program to provide proper
* inheritance features.
*/

#include "mother.h"
#include "father.h"

#ifndef FATHER
#warn("Father unknown -- guessing\n")
#include "bastard.h"
#endif

/* Set up sex-specific functions and variables
*/
#include <sex.h>

/* Kludged code -- I'll re-design this lot and re-write it as a proper
* library sometime soon.
*/
struct genitals
{
#ifdef MALE
Penis *jt;
#endif
/* G_spot *g; Removed for debugging purposes */
#ifdef FEMALE
Vagina *p;
#endif
}

/* Initialization bootstrap routine -- called before DNA duplication.
* Allocates buffers and sets up protein file pointers
*/
DNA *zygote_initialize(Sperm *, Ovum *);

/* MAIN INITIALIZATION CODE
*
* Returns structures containing pre-processed phenotypes for the organism
* to display at birth.
*
* Will be improved later to make output less ugly.
*/
Characteristic *lookup_phenotype(Identifier *i);

===

....and so on.

[ Note that God uses three-space tabs ]




this is silly as everybody knows comments are not included in the compiled output.

VegasSte
02-27-2003, 10:59 AM
OK now that one was good!
Where do you get them from?

Travis Dane
02-27-2003, 11:00 AM
Wow! This is amazing! I din't thought anyone...

Brian
02-27-2003, 11:02 AM
a friend sent me a link
i think its:
http://missy.reimer.com/library/

TravisS
02-27-2003, 01:19 PM
Hehe, I have that as my desktop now. I have dual monitors, and rarely use the second one, so it's an entire monitor of bobbing heads :eek:

RoD
02-27-2003, 02:02 PM
Originally posted by TravisS
Hehe, I have that as my desktop now. I have dual monitors, and rarely use the second one, so it's an entire monitor of bobbing heads :eek:

i tried it, entirely too distracting.