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01-29-2003, 09:02 AM
i was at work minding my own business yesterday when a friend of mine showed up and stated "i am on a quest!"

this friend of mine used to work at the computer place where i work but now works two doors down from our shop at a place that repairs cash registers and stuff for restaurants. he is a very funny individual and usually interesting to talk to.

i asked him "what kind of quest?" he went on to mention that sad story a couple of weeks ago about the policemen shooting that family's dog during a routine traffic stop. he then told another story about a dog he lost and how he went to the pound to see if it was there and the pound told them they only hold dogs for 3 days before putting them to sleep. and then he told a story about some relatives or friends or something having a dog that had puppies and (i dont remember the whole story) somehow the pound got them or they ran off or something, and so he figures they have been picked up and put to sleep also.

what he was getting at was that too many dogs are being killed when there must be a way to make all of these unwanted dogs useful. sure we have them as pets, but that doesnt really accomplish much.

we went on to brain-storm various ways they could be used, ranging from generating electricity to terreforming planets.

your excercise today is to come up with as many different uses for the worlds surplus of dogs as you can think of. try to be outrageous, but also try to make your idea somewhat feasable.

hint: dogs as food has already been discussed, and it is not a very creative idea. not to mention, we are trying to PREVENT the dogs from dying...

Govtcheez
01-29-2003, 09:09 AM
Here's one - we set up a business and advertise it as the "Canine Connection". We can claim that because dogs are closer to nature than humans, they're more in touch with things, and are able to see the future. That's right - the psychic friends - WITH DOGS! We could even make custom phones so they could answer easier! We're gonna be rich!

Either that, or we can organize them into travelling choirs and teach them all how to bark "Jingle Bells"

deathstryke
01-29-2003, 09:20 AM
Hook them up to a treadmill to generate electricity... oh wait that's for rats...

jessie23
01-29-2003, 09:22 AM
how about the possiblilty of using dog fur to make coats or shirts, like sheep. fabric would have to be developed but its an idea.

during wwII the germans actually attempted to use dogs as tank killers, but this didnt work good for them, plus u wanted the dogs to stay alive.

how about army reconnaissance? if you could teach a dog where to go and fix a small unnoticable camera to them they would become the ultimate spies.

dogs could also be used to prevent smoking. the dogs would be trained to be let out in public and smell for tobacco much like bomb sniffing dogs. only when they found someone smoking they would begin to bark at them constantly. it would work especially well if you used terriers and other small dogs with that loud annoying bark.:D

deathstryke
01-29-2003, 09:24 AM
No it wouldn't jessie, Most of us (or at least me) would kick the little yippee leg humpers. :D MWAHAHAHA!!! MWAHAHAHA!!

Govtcheez
01-29-2003, 09:26 AM
> if you could teach a dog where to go and fix a small unnoticable camera to them they would become the ultimate spies.

Brilliant. I can just picture it in Iraq now - "Where the hell did all these labradors come from?" How would it work in Korea, though? Seems to me the last camera shot would be from the inside of a cookin pot.

jessie23
01-29-2003, 09:27 AM
there would be a heavy fine for kicking them....

or you could train the dogs to harvest crops, like carrots. just teach them to pull them up and bring them to the basket. maybe im giving dogs a little to much credit on the intelligence level though.

deathstryke
01-29-2003, 09:31 AM
Nice one, govtcheez. I really hate dogs. My mother just got a black lab and now I can't use the backyard for practicing sword forms anymore. She's afraid I'll kill it (reasonable fear) or something.

Govtcheez
01-29-2003, 09:34 AM
I love dogs, but I just thought it was a stupid idea (not a legit one, like dog psychics).

Keeping with jessie's ideas, though - you could train them to be super spies - they could learn to wine and dine dog royalty in hostile countries, and get all the hot girl dogs to reveal the launch codes, or something.

deathstryke
01-29-2003, 09:39 AM
doogie bond, eh? Might make for something interesting...

jessie23
01-29-2003, 09:40 AM
there is a fiction book by Dean Koontz about that. in the book the government runs a program to make dog spies. they genitically engineer them to be as intelligent as humans. but one escapes the lab and this guy finds him and so on..... its a good book but i cant remember the title.

Govtcheez
01-29-2003, 09:41 AM
Seize the Night and Fear Nothing (I think)

They weren't anything special.

Eibro
01-29-2003, 10:11 AM
We could use them for our ****** satisfaction...

Or, we could train them as astronauts, and send a whole pack into space. Newborns would eventually replace the elder doggies, and this would continue in an endless loop.

Their nutrient-rich feces would supply other dogs with a healthy meal. Excess feces would be used as fuel for the rockets. The dead would meet a fate similar to feces.

Eventually, the ship would become overcrowded and the surplus of canine would be dropped off at the nearest planet to start a new colony.

Flawless.

Govtcheez
01-29-2003, 10:13 AM
Plus, if they start attacking us, we can just project a picture of a fire hydrant onto the sun, and their instincts will kick in, saving humanity.

adrianxw
01-29-2003, 10:16 AM
>>> possiblilty of using dog fur to make coats

101 dalmations.

A better exercise for the day would be to come up with a universally acceptable way of preventing the surplus of dogs from arising. Sure, that doesn't solve the current problem, but the current problem is self limiting. Stop new surplus accumulating, existing surplus is dead in 10 years - problem gone.

Eibro
01-29-2003, 10:17 AM
Since there would be so many dogs; maybe their golden stream of justice would oust the sun?

Govtcheez
01-29-2003, 10:17 AM
:sigh:

But adrian, how will I know where my late grandfather buried the treasure if there are no dog psychics?

Govtcheez
01-29-2003, 10:18 AM
> maybe their golden stream of justice would oust the sun?

Damn, you're right. The plan can be amended.

adrianxw
01-29-2003, 10:18 AM
>>> if there are no dog psychics?

www.catpsychics.com