View Full Version : Just can't do it

Pages : [1] 2

10-06-2001, 05:52 PM
Okay, here's the story. I see this girl everyday (I don't even know her name). The thing is, I really like her. So, the night before I always say to myself, "Garfield, you gotta do this tomorrow". And then I would think of what to say. Come the next day, I would walk right past her because I'm so scared and I just can't do it. I get so mad at myself. I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I do "get" girls. I just don't have a good feeling about this. I think she'd say no. But, what have I got to lose?

I may never get her, but I know that I can always count on my programming buddies.

--(lonely) Garfield

10-06-2001, 05:59 PM
The best approach is to be casual. Try to get to know her a bit (getting her name for a start would help :)). But just keep things light, and then just take it from there. Don't rush in. If you have a bad feeling about it, don't worry, cause we all get nervous. Hey and even if things don't work out the way you want them to, you got another friend which is always good :).

10-06-2001, 06:00 PM
Aw, thanks man. That helps. It really does. I just want it to work out. I've been lonely for awhile and I need a girl. I'll definately try your advice. Thanks.


10-06-2001, 06:03 PM
That advice comes with a 1 min warranty, lol.

10-06-2001, 06:17 PM
>I've been lonely for awhile and I need a girl.
Diddo here...

I hate not seeing my friends as much, they are what accoranged me to ask the girls I like out. All of them say no though, excpet one who just throuh the note I gave her on the floor. I wish I had more of a life. I wish I could get a life. My life is nothingness.

10-06-2001, 06:20 PM
Joe MotivationalSpeaker!

Your young, your free. Enjoy it as much as you can! Get out there, really push yourself to do something worthwhile with your life.

10-06-2001, 06:31 PM
What grade're you in (my advice sorat depends on that...but I'll give you some general stuff)

first you just have to ask casual, as was stated. Does she ever seem to make eyes at you? Do you know one of her friends? how often do you see her and in what context? Must know these things :)

10-06-2001, 06:37 PM
I think Garfield will do fine. Hey anything is worth a shot isn't it?

10-06-2001, 07:23 PM
Okay, KEN, here goes. I see her about 3 times a day and 4 if I go out of my way to see her (which usually happens). I actually did make eye contact with her and it seemed to last forever. Well, at least that's how long I wanted it to last. Those beautiful blue eyes and...oh, what was I saying? I do know one of her friends, but she is not a great ::sarcastically:: friend.

Well, I actually had a couple of ideas in my head. Instead of acting casually and "easing" into it, I was thinking about getting to the point and be charming. Like really overdo it. Something like, "Your eyes are beautiful gems, and you hair is that of a goddess". Well, something along those lines. But with that idea, she could just totally laugh me out of the world and, well, make a fool out of me. So, that one is a little more risky.

Oh, I see her in the halls when she's at her locker. Not a real long time, but enough to say something.

Thanks guys...


10-06-2001, 07:26 PM
Don't rush! Slow down take it easy, let things take their course. However, don't just sit back, otherwise you'll never have a chance.

10-06-2001, 08:20 PM
No matter how you phrase it, you know she's going to say no; so don't even bother. Why are you making eye contact with her without even talking to her? She probably thinks you're some kind of weirdo. Don't get poetic on her the same day you introduce yourself to her! She will just think you're overly desperate and possibly a bit psychotic, and that's never a good start. Since you go out of your way to just casually pass her by and look at her, she probably thinks you're some kind of stalker.

In all seriousness, forget what I just said above and listen to what the others have been saying. Learn her name and just talk to her. Eventually, you can move your relation from mere acquantinces to something more than friendship--just don't try to do it all in one day. Also, don't give this girl the impression that your interests are solely the traditional "nerdy" hobbies.

10-06-2001, 09:16 PM
don't do that!!

There was this guy that liked my friend julie, and she didn't even really know him, and he started telling her stuff like "your eyes are beautiful gems..You are the air I breathe...I am completely in love with you, Julianne" and it freaked her out so badly, she thought he was stalking her...Don't do anything stupid like that. just don't! Get to know her! It always works out for me if I do it this way:

let's say you're sitting next to her at an assembly, or you're standing next to her and listening to someone talk ad they say something you can twist into a joke - tell it to her. you don't even have to look at her, just casually say it, and look at her for a reaction...then start making more jokes and talking to her, introduce yourself and talk to her more. the next day be sure to say hi to her, and if she's the hugging type, get a hug. Sooner or later ask her if she has a e-mail address or a screen name, then one day while talking to her ask her if she wants to go to the movies sometime...if she says yes, then get her number and I think you can handle it from there :)

if the above fails, try going out with friends that know her while she's there...that always works.

10-06-2001, 09:20 PM
Okay, Garfield, I have been in the EXACT same situation you are in right now.

Over time I have come to learn a lesson...I will tell you that lesson in two short words at the end of this post.

Anyways, last year I used to like this cheerleader, Katherine. She was, like many of you would think about your crushes/girl friends/wives, the most beautiful, lovely, cute, hot, drop dead gorgeous girl in the world. Yet I could not go up to her and talk to her. I saw her all the freakin time, but I could not go up and talk to her.

I had first come to know she even existed the year before that year, when I was walking in the cafeteria and she stopped me and asked me to put up a sign for her. I was like..."sure!"...I mean...she was freakin hot.

So anyways, for months I could not talk to her. I saw her all the time. I did some of the stupidest things you could ever think of. As I was leaving school one day, I went out the back hall from the choir room, past the cheerleader room, opened the door to the athletics hallway and hit her with the door....ouch...that hurt.

I hit one of her friends with a door several weeks later, that wasnt good. She knew I liked her too, that made it even worse...because when a girl knows you like her, and you dont ever talk to her, she thinks you are stalking her.

Finally, on Valentines Day of this year, I was like, "Freak...I gotta talk to her." So I called up my friend Robert, he drove me to a flower shop and we got some roses, and he drove me to her house (since I couldnt drive yet). The entire way to her house, I was like, "why the heck did i ever decide to do this? its actually happening..." then a song came on the radio, it went like this, i am sure some of you know it, "What you gonna do when you cant say no, and you better start the show, and you really need to know...how you gonna act...how you gonna handle that..." Then my friend was like, "yeah...what ARE you going to do...because you ARE doing this" he basically forced me to.

So we arrived at her house. Went up to the door. She came out (she saw us drive up). Started talking to her. Went perfectly. Gave her the roses. Went awesome. That day was the best day of my life. The next day at school I was like so incredibly happy...You just have to get over it. Just do it. Dont look back. Its high school. Just go and do it.

So here is my advice in two words to you: Don't Care.

Dont care. its that simple. It is high school. There is an 80% she knows you like her. Trust me. Girls know these things, ESPECIALLY if you have made eye contact. Talk to her. Become friends with her. Finally, ask her out. If she says no, shrug it off. It is high school. It wont haunt you the rest of your life if she says no. Yet it could haunt you the rest of your life if you never do anything.

Years ago I used to be incredibly shy when it came to girls. Now I just dont care. When I like a girl I make it incredibly obvious, and things tend to work out better that way. Just this past summer I sang a song to a girl I like (since I am in choir and like to sing)...it worked out perfectly...I was nervous (FREAKING nervous), but I did it.

So thats my advice: Don't Care.

10-06-2001, 11:31 PM
::wipes tears from eyes, blows nose::

Somebody give that man an Oscar!

10-07-2001, 06:26 AM
this is a really sweet thread...

okay here is my advice from the other side of the fence.

Yep this girl probably does know that you already like her. Take it from me it is always obvious who likes you - if you dont do anything about it then she will probably think something is wrong with you (i always used to when it happened to me). Further, when you do talk to her she will probably be flattered that you are interested.

Dont use the flowery language or yes she will think that you are a bit weird - just invite her for a coffee (dont invite her to a movie - you cant talk to each other and get to know a person at a movie and you end up just sitting there in the darkness wondering if the other person does actually like you etc etc) - coffee where you can talk is good. Also coffee is very middle ground and it gives you the chance to get to know each other as friends first.

If it doesnt work out then you have another friend and at the end of the day good friends are more important in the long run

10-07-2001, 07:39 AM
Thanks guys! I'm definately going to do it and take all your advice. Of course, I'll be scared, but I'm going to do it. On tuesday, I'll keep you guys updated on how it goes.


10-07-2001, 09:29 PM
Heh, I have known many girls that like me. And I have liked many girls, it seems they have an intuition as to whether or not you like them. It is impossible to dodge this, just accept it.

10-07-2001, 09:33 PM
walk up to her and whack her with a fork:D

10-07-2001, 11:25 PM
The old "Talk and Fork" -- she'd never see that coming :p

Good luck Garfield!

10-08-2001, 07:36 PM
Why my life is not so good.

Sunday well at work, a girl lets call her Gina, who her boyfreind calling him Dave, and the most drop dead girl in the world came in, lets call her Jen. My freind, who will be refired to as Jake, told be to spy on these girls since one of them was his ex-girlfriend and make sure they stay back in the couner. I asked him witch one it was and he told be it was Gina to my pleasent surprise.

After going to clean the bathroom for the milionth or so time that day they ask me for my name and phone nummber and told me Jen liked me and she blow me a kiss. I gave them my phone number and name making then 3 out of 4 people I have given my number to.

During the next half an hour to an hour, they ask me why I keep staring at them, and Jake meaches to get put on drive through far away from the counter as he can.

Again after cleaning the bathroom, they tell me the forgot my name and phone-nummber, so I give it to them and ask for their names. They tell me that Jen's name is kristen* Dave's name is tom, and and Gina's name was brittney. **

I went into the back and talked to Jake, and asked for what there name's were. He did not know the name of Gina, or Dave but told me Jen's real name, witch was diffrent then what she had told me.

I want back out into the lobby were the girls had me sit done with them. Gina started saying how she was from new york and how she was vising dave. After letting her talk for a while I called her by her real name, witch caught her completly off gaurd. After a momment she countiued her story but stopped after noticing I did not by a word of it. I told her that John had told me witch she denied going out with well going towards the counder. I told them the John was in the back so they return to there seats, and I countiued to clean the lobby.

A while latter well I was wipping of some trays, they left and said good by, and told me they were going to call.

I only spent an half -hour online 8:30 -9:00 but they did not call.

I never got the name of the guy or that girl I am now head over heals for.

* Kristen is the name of my sister, and her boyfreinds sister. It would way to Ironic for her name to be kristen also.

** You could tell she was liying.

10-08-2001, 07:58 PM
why fall in love with someone who lies to you? such a wonderful way to start off a relationship! :p

guy or that girl I am now head over heals for

so you're in love with the guy, too?

10-08-2001, 08:09 PM
>so you're in love with the guy, too?<

I think he means he never caught the guy's name. He also didn't catch the girl's name (which he is "now head over heels for").

10-08-2001, 08:17 PM
>why fall in love with someone who lies to you? such a wonderful way to start off a relationship!<

Din't you notice that up top it said "Why my life is not so good" . I noticed her when she walked in.

>>so you're in love with the guy, too?<

I think he means he never caught the guy's name. He also didn't catch the girl's name (which he is "now head over heels for").<

Thanks Hillbille that is what I ment.

10-09-2001, 05:36 AM

10-09-2001, 07:11 AM
How funny it is to see highschooler's hung up about girls :). I finshed school 2 years ago, and it seems so funny how down I was on myself then. If I could go back in time I would have just not given a damn about what anyone thought and would have been myself. Anyway, point being I say one thing to you all:

Carpe Diem!

Yeah that's pretty damn cliched, but hey, why sit back and wait for things to happen? It makes no sense. Who cares if you make a fool of yourself in front of a girl you like? Laugh it off! I done so many stupid things in front of people, I don't get upset about it. I laugh, make a joke of myself and how lame I can be. Don't take yourself or life too seriously. You could die tomorow - do you want to spend today miserable or happy? It's up to you to take charge of things.

10-09-2001, 08:18 PM
I got two options as I see it.

1. I could forget about this girl, witch i have been tring to do.

2. I could ask my freind for his ex-girlfreinds number, so I could ask her what her freinds name and number is. Rember my freind hated the fact his ex-girl freind was there.

10-10-2001, 10:49 PM
>On tuesday, I'll keep you guys updated on how it goes. <

Tell us what took place....

10-11-2001, 04:35 PM
Okay, I didn't quite do it. But I did meet eyes with her again. This time...she smiled. Oh my gosh, it must have been the most beautiful smile that was every smiled. It made my legs week, and I could hardly stand (mind you, I'm a cross-country runner). So, now I'm really pumped up. I'm going to do it tomorrow.


10-11-2001, 04:44 PM
It's -almost- a certain rule, nut I once heard that we programmers have this curse of not being good at getting girls.

there are some exceptions, OF COURSE


10-11-2001, 04:47 PM
Well, then I'm an exception. I have a really good feeling about this (I know I shouldn't because my hopes will get dropped, but hey, you have to live).

"It is better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved."


rick barclay
10-11-2001, 04:48 PM
I read the story and all I could think of the whole time was
Police Quest, the locker room, and the guy cleaning it. I
wonder if that guy gets as many phone numbers as gamegod?

rick barclay

10-11-2001, 04:52 PM
I mean, it's not to make you feel bad, I've heard it, that's all, If you're going to do something, GO FOR IT!!!, you could be one of those exceptions


10-11-2001, 05:08 PM

Just in case you cant do it...here is an idea, this is what I did once.

Remember my story about Katherine earlier in this thread?

Well, like I said earlier...I gave her those roses on Valentines Day...but lets rewind back to December...

In December I really wanted to talk to her, but I couldnt. So what I did was I got one of my friends to come with me and we stood outside the cheerleader room.

When she came out of the cheerleader room and started walking down the hall, I had my friend all out her name. She turned around. Now I was forced to talk to her.

So I went up to her and I was like, "Hey, Katherine..." and she said hi. Unfortunately she had to go really quickly, so we said like one or two more things but then she had to go...so then I didnt end up talking to her again until that Valentines Day which I already described.

But that is what you can do. If you cant do it, get a friend to call out her name...she will turn around...you go up to her and start talking to her. Just do it at a time where she wont have to leave really quickly.

10-12-2001, 04:44 AM
Yeh, I guess I could give that a try. But I don't really want to get any friends involved in this. I've heard stories that the friends cause it to blow up totally in his face.

Well, today's the day. I'm just about to go to school. I'm mentally ready, I hope. I just have to say, what have I got to lose? I'm doing it!


10-12-2001, 04:53 AM
Let us know how it went Garfield.

10-12-2001, 05:46 AM
This is nice thread. It just shows the fact oskilian mentioned above. In my opinion, most of the programmers (not hobby programmers, but profesional ones) really have this problem. Yeah, I got the same problem too, Garfield. I hate it. I hate the feeling when you have to do it and you're so anxious or what is the English word for it, that you simply can't. Programmers spent more of the time in front of a monitor than other people, so their ability to communicate is in general worse. I think that's the reason. You always use your brain to solve algorithms, find bugs and stuff like that and when there comes a cute girl you get this chilling feeling and don't know what to do with it. Did I expressed it fine in my poor English?

The conclusion of this is: programmers think of social and love problems more than they should and so thay just stay back thinking and not doing something.

I'm not trying to say programmers must be more brainy than other people but they cogitate another way.

And that's it: don't think of her or you'll think a hole in her head.

rick barclay
10-12-2001, 11:23 AM
>In my opinion, most of the programmers (not hobby programmers, but profesional ones) really have this problem. Yeah, I got the same problem <

Most adolescents, whatever their calling have this problem.
With some, it's a problem into and throughout adulthood.

rick barclay

10-12-2001, 12:53 PM
Okay, breaking news. It is good news, and it is bad news. I'll give the bad news first:

I'm not too sure anymore if I really do want to "see" her. I was with her when she was talking and it was just a bit of a turn-off. Also, see good news for the other reason why I'm "wearing" off of her.

Now for the good news. There is this other girl. Except, I have this girl in two of my classes, so I know her a little better than the other. She is really cute and I think that I'm going to ask her to this dance. Her friends told me to go for it so I think I'm going to.

Yup, this all happened in one day. I guess I'm happy about it. Maybe I'll just try my luck with the first one. If she turns me down, who cares? I have this other girl.


10-12-2001, 12:54 PM
Oh, and I also do believe that programmers have the same problem with girls. It is just natural. Nothing we can do about it.


10-12-2001, 02:39 PM
Rick, I don't agree with you, but my explanation why disappeared with single keystroke:

Right now I wrote about 40 lines of text and switched to another application, then switched back, pressed Esc because I didn't know I'm back (from unknown reason it didn't refresh) and everything disappeared!! Never press Esc when posting (in phase of writing text) to this board. I looked through HTML of this page and there is <textarea> tag used for text input. I never used this tag in my web projects and I wonder why it is designed to clear with Esc. (maybe it's Microsoft made)... :confused:
If you like to know why I don't agree, I'll try to explain it. But probably you don't.
P.S. for Garfield
If you were able to forget about the first girl so quickly, you can't have any problem at all!!!!

10-12-2001, 02:42 PM
Why've you changed your avatar? Garfield was cool.

10-12-2001, 02:50 PM
Hey man, tell us how you do (when you DO)

and, when the proper time comes, I may post my own problem


10-12-2001, 03:34 PM
I say go for the new girl...

10-12-2001, 03:55 PM
oh, and by the way, if you have pressed Esc, you can undo the clear by hitting the keyboard(no, just kidding), do Ctrl-Z.


rick barclay
10-12-2001, 04:34 PM
>Rick, I don't agree with you, but my explanation why disappeared with single keystroke: <

Ah, I know the problem. People who post long messages should
always do it in a word processor and copy it the board--but I
never do, consequently I lose posts for any reason you can think of.

Maybe you're right. I'm only speaking from what I saw and felt
as a young boy growing up. It may not be a majority of adolescents
who have problems connecting with the opposite sex, but the
number still is considerable. As I got older and wiser I felt
better about myself but I was still shaky with the womenfolfk.
I'm just a shy person. Lot's of people are that way. Took me
32 years to find my woman and a year to marry her. I consider myself one of the luckier ones.

rick barclay

10-12-2001, 06:31 PM
>Oh, and I also do believe that programmers have the same problem with girls. It is just natural. Nothing we can do about it.

That is half right and half wrong. Programmers do have this natural problem. We are good with academics, but not with sociality. However, we CAN do something about it, unlike what you said.

For example, I have balanced it all out and made sure I am social by being in choir. Choir is cool because there are hot girls, and there are cool guys to hang with. Also, I have just learned through time to overcome this "girl-thing" over time. It is not easy, but it is definitely doable.

When I first began programming, I knew that many programmers were antisocial (for lack of a better word), so I basically made myself determined that even though I loved to program, I would not become antisocial. Its basically just a thing of determination. If you have the determination, you can do it.

10-12-2001, 06:37 PM
lol oh well Garfield! I guess you may have learned that:

beautiful girl !always= perfect girl for you

That other girl sounds nice though :). Well good luck with whatever you may choose to do.

10-12-2001, 06:42 PM
> Also, see good news for the other reason why I'm "wearing" off of her.

Now for the good news. There is this other girl. Except, I have this girl in two of my classes, so I know her a little better than the other. She is really cute and I think that I'm going to ask her to this dance. Her friends told me to go for it so I think I'm going to.

Yup, this all happened in one day. I guess I'm happy about it. Maybe I'll just try my luck with the first one. If she turns me down, who cares? I have this other girl.<

I am very basicly in the same sittutation. Realizing that I would most likly never see the girl from micdonalds again, I spend my time tring to to get over her. So basicly I though every girl I talked to was cute, but my mind kept going back to her. Until a few days ago when the girl I liked in the beging of the year, looked in my derication, and know I keep thinking about her again.

BTW I followed the same pattern in 9th grade. Stupid Fate :::Hits Fate ::: put me in some classes with this girl, or at least give me lunch.

10-12-2001, 06:44 PM
I should write a book:

Social Help for Computer Programmers by DavidP. :D

10-12-2001, 06:47 PM
Lesson 1: "How to improve self-confidence without having to write an OS"