View Full Version : *Groan*

07-11-2002, 12:47 PM
A bear walked into a bar and asked for a Gin and .......................... Tonic

The barman asked "Why the big pause".

The bear replied "I don't know, my dad had them as well".

07-11-2002, 12:56 PM
A horse walked into the bar and the barman said...

"Why the long face?"

... oh boy, I hope this thread dies quickly.

07-11-2002, 01:02 PM
The classics...

Baby seal walks into a club...

07-11-2002, 01:21 PM
"Who ordered the ice?"

Purser - Titanic.

07-11-2002, 02:17 PM
A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Okay I know how sensitive everyone is around here so:

A *insert race here* guy with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar. The bartender says "cool! where'd you get that?" The parrot said *insert country here*. :eek:

07-12-2002, 06:49 AM
A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."


Dyslexic man walks into a bra.


A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."

07-12-2002, 07:15 AM
I Love this Thread ................

"Knock. Knock."
"Who's there?"
"Interrupting cow."
"Interrupting cow wh..."

07-12-2002, 07:22 AM
Indian bloke walks into a bar and orders a pint.

"2.00" says the barman

The indian drinks it and orders another

"2.20" says the barman

"2..20?!" says the Indian, "I paid 2.00 just now"

"fluctuations" stated the barman

"well f**k you British too!!" replied the Indian

07-12-2002, 10:10 AM
The son came home one day and told stories to his dad about his training in the army.

Son: Well there was this one time we were all on an airplane and we had to jump. I was the last one to do it and I was standing on the edge not being able to. The sargeant told me if I didn't jump, he'd stick his manhood of my a$$.

Dad: So did you jump?

Son: A little at first. :eek:

07-13-2002, 07:28 AM
A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he saw walking down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he swerved to hit him and there would be a loud "THUMP". Then he would swerve back on the road.

One day, as the truck driver was driving along the road he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good deed and pulled the truck over.

"Where are you going, Father?" The truck driver asked.

"I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road", replied the priest.

"No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck".
The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road.
Instinctively he swerved to hit him. At the last moment he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so he swerved back to the road and narrowly missed the lawyer.
Certain he should've missed the lawyer, the truck driver was very surprised and immediately uneasy when he heard a loud "THUMP".
He felt really guilty about his actions and so turned to the priest and said, "I'm really sorry Father. I thought I missed that lawyer".
"That's okay", replied the priest. "I got him with the door."