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Scourfish
06-23-2002, 12:19 AM
So, before I email this to the CO$, what suggestions/alterations does anyone suggest?





Dear CO$,

Often, I think that rabid squirrels that are out to eat my genitals are chasing me. My family disowned me after something as miniscule as setting fire to our house. Recently, my wife has left me, and my goldfish, Willy, has died. The little **** down the street keeps throwing toilet paper in my trees and egging my front door and throwing rocks attached with the notes “Scientology kills,” and “Scientology: Profiteering cult, not religion” through my window. The other day, I think I had a heart attack, but while driving to the hospital, I got sidetracked by McDonalds. I often wet the bed and involuntarily ejaculate in public. One time, I was arrested for sexually assaulting a buckeye tree. I have type 2 and 3 diabetes, Herpes, Pink Eye, and a severe case of Acne. The public sanitation department has tried to force me to take a shower, but I haven’t taken one in 3 years; I’m not about to start now. Sometimes, I get this uncontrollable urge and kill a few dozen people, but not before taking their money. I scare little children. Can scientology cure me of all of these ailments? My friend is level 9 and can now read my mind and often masturbates to the sexual fantasies I conjure. Please send me an information packet, as I want to be able to waste ****loads of my life and money believing in space cooties that were a result of L Ron Hubbard’s drug trips. Also, Hubbard had a tendency to beat his wives; can you guys teach me how to beat (my wife)?

Sincerely,
Avidday Iscaviagemay

ygfperson
06-23-2002, 01:00 AM
i would suggest deleting this message and finding more effective ways to spread your message

Scourfish
06-23-2002, 01:11 AM
Originally posted by ygfperson
i would suggest deleting this message and finding more effective ways to spread your message

Nah, I'm not into speaking out, just ****in em up a little.

The problem is, that I'm dry on ideas, and afraid that the following seems too overdone.

lightatdawn
06-23-2002, 09:23 AM
>>The problem is, that I'm dry on ideas, and afraid that the following seems too overdone.

Just send 'em a bunch of Jehova Witness pamplets. :D Not sure anybody deserves that kind of punishment tho... hmm...

MethodMan
06-23-2002, 09:40 AM
I think you should get some help.

Scourfish
06-23-2002, 09:55 AM
Wait, I've got an even better idea. I could do a Zero Wing-esque sequence based on L. Ron Hubbards mistaking ore deopsits for Japanese subs dropping depth charges in Cape Lookout in Florida. Hehe, Imagine something like, "In AD 1943, Ore was beginning"

Perhaps that's got some potential, no?


So, how many scienos do we's gots in da crib? Yeah, represent! Represent beeotch! Then we's will git down Clearwater style. all ye damn hood ratz..

Unregistered
06-23-2002, 10:40 PM
who's co$?

ygfperson
06-23-2002, 10:48 PM
church of scientology

loopy
06-24-2002, 12:07 AM
Your first post is so nutty it remind's me of dianetic's, or is that why it's written like that, to make fun of his writing?

I thought co$ was cosman, people actually abbreaviate church of scientoligy?

cozman
06-24-2002, 09:23 AM
pretty funny, and I'm not even sure what to think about the fact that loopy thought I was the Church of Scientology :D

loopy
06-24-2002, 12:46 PM
<<pretty funny, and I'm not even sure what to think about the fact that loopy thought I was the Church of Scientology

Oh cozman, my mistake.


cozman is in no way related or affiliated with the church of scientology, if such affiliation was implied, then loopy is a nut.

no-one
06-24-2002, 01:01 PM
you do realize your all to be brutally murdered now, right? or as they call it disappeard.

you've made a joke and/or insulted the COS, you do know who the real MIB work for right? Right?

well i'll tell ya, they work for the COS! thats WHO!!

ober
06-24-2002, 01:29 PM
ahh... don't get your panties in a bunch no-one... ;)

Unregistered
06-24-2002, 09:06 PM
Originally posted by no-one
you do realize your all to be brutally murdered now, right? or as they call it disappeard.

you've made a joke and/or insulted the COS, you do know who the real MIB work for right? Right?

well i'll tell ya, they work for the COS! thats WHO!!



No, we will be declared supressive persons, as according to the Operating Thetan documents.

BTW, 75 million years ago, Teegeak (earth) became overrun by the ghosts of dead aliens (space cooties aka thetans), thanks to XENU; these cooties now make up our collective conscience. Unless you have paid $350,000 to the CO$ then you will instantly die if you see the name XENU.