PDA

View Full Version : Customer is always right (not)



RobR
04-25-2002, 05:18 PM
Love this site to bits

http://www.actsofgord.com

Sample

(Gord runs a video game store)

More Mod Chip Madness!

"Do you sell mod chips?"

"Go ahead, ask me what I sell."

"What do you sell?"

"I sell video games. What a stupid question."

"What does a mod chip cost?"

"Apparently one of us isn't keeping up."

"What do you mean?"

"If I sold you a mod chip, then you would never buy a game from me ever again. And that would be very much in opposition to my being able to run a profitable business."

"I just want one to play copied games."

"What? Do I look like an idiot? What the hell did you think I thought you wanted it for?"

"err…"

"Exactly. Now look, if I were to sell you a mod chip I would lose you as a customer. Now, if I were going to lose you as a customer I'd rather do it on a high note like setting you on fire. At least then I would have some satisfaction of a job well done."

"I'm leaving!"

"But I haven't set you on fire yet!"

stevey
04-25-2002, 05:38 PM
:D

:cool:

ive always hated customers, always goddamn complaining...glad i'm not a QA Manager any more !!!

bye bye....land of nod....

jdinger
04-25-2002, 05:39 PM
Gord! That's some funny stuff!


"You're not keeping up on the conversation here, or am I just talking to myself?"

xds4lx
04-25-2002, 08:48 PM
Dont even get me started on customers, they are never right! I worked as an assitant manager for subway for 2 years through college and lets just say I hated every customer with the exception of a few.

minesweeper
04-25-2002, 10:36 PM
Oh I like this!!

"I'd like to buy this game."

"Very well then, that will be $45.60 with tax. Also, do you have a memory expansion for your Nintendo 64? Perfect dark requires it."

"I do."

"Are you sure? It's one of these units that plugs into here."

Gord proceeds to show the customer what he's talking about as the customer doesn't look so bright by holding a Nintendo 64 up and pointing to the memory expansion slot.

Customer leaves, returns with parent. Speech repeats with mother.

They leave content.

Next day, the customer returns.

"This game doesn't fit my machine."

Gord plugs it into his Nintendo 64.

"Seems to fit into mine. Does your machine work with other games?"

"Yes, see?"

<Dramatic Pause>

"Sir, that is a GameBoy Advance."

"Perfect Dark didn't fit!"

"Well, yes, I suppose it wouldn't. So when I held up a Nintendo 64 and pointed out things on it, you didn't say 'that doesn't look like my machine' because…?"

stevey
04-26-2002, 09:48 AM
i have been reading the word of Gord today, and i have been entertained for ages !! thank you for bringing Gord into my world..he may change it for the better..i am learning new forms of wit and sarcasm !! this is my fave, and i'd just love to do it !!

.............................................

New project. I'm hanging up a sign similiar to "Now serving #" or "# of accident free days", and it will have a spot where I hang numbers.

Only, it will say "# of days where management hasn't had to deal with an idiot."

And when I have to deal with an idiot, I'll sigh, reach over, and take down all the numbers leaving a "0".

If I'm lucky, the person who is the idiot will be so offended they will never return...

................................................

but i'd like to know how big this guy is, and why he doesn't get a smack in the mouth !! i'm guessing he's a big tough guy !!!

RobR
04-26-2002, 09:53 AM
I was on there till 1 in the morning!!!

My fave is (and we've all met him).

Hear Me, For I Am Important!

<ring>

"Gamer's Edge."

"Yes, my name is Trevor Evans, and I just got a note from your collection company. Why is that?!"

"Well, my theory would be that it would be because you owe me money. But if you would like me to confirm, I could check my records. What is your phone number and I'll check."

Gord pulls up his account and it turns out Mr. Evans here owes him $41 in late charges (he only ever spent $6 in the store in rentals in the first place), and never rented again. After six months, accounts owing more than $20 are forwarded to collections. Gord explained all this to him.

"Late fees are illegal! You can't charge them if you are a retail establishment! I know the law!"

"Apparently you failed that class. You were advised when you signed up that games returned late would incur a charge of $1 per day."

"That's illegal."

"Just because you say so doesn't make it true."

"Don't you know who I am?"

"Yes, you would be Trevor Evans."

"You don't know who I am, do you?!"

"You're not Trevor Evans?"

"You have no idea at all who I am!"

"You would be the guy that owes me $41 in late fees and apparently failed law class."

"I'll get my Lawyer after you!"

"I'll save him the call. What's his name and number?"

"I'm not telling you his name."

"Did he fail his law class too? I hope not."

"You'll have to sue me if you ever want your money."

Ok. Normally I wait a year before filing any sort of legal action on unpaid debts, but if you want I can file that on Monday. In hindsight, that was a pretty stupid threat as now you've got everything happening faster. But then, you're you. Have a nice day.

<click>

Two days later I get a cheque for the money owed. Spiffy.


BTW, Stevey, please don't post to my threads, the last time you did it they got closed!!!!:D :D :D

jdinger
04-26-2002, 10:18 AM
Originally posted by RobR
BTW, Stevey, please don't post to my threads, the last time you did it they got closed!!!!:D :D :D


HAHAHAHA! :D

All hail Stevey, the anit-mod!

stevey
04-26-2002, 10:33 AM
:( i know, and they were the best threads ive seen in ages !!
and i can never remember jokes, so they are all lost to the ether now !! boo hoo

i'm going to disapear back from whence i came (ie unregistered on the C programming board)

Nobody loves me, i think i'll top myself !!;)

anyway, you're blaming ME, Mr Limerick !!!:D

RobR
04-26-2002, 10:35 AM
i'm going to disapear back from whence i came (ie unregistered on the C programming board)

Isn't that the place where they talk about programming all day?? Boring or wot?

stevey
04-26-2002, 10:42 AM
Originally posted by RobR


Isn't that the place where they talk about programming all day?? Boring or wot?

i'm looking for a job in C programming, and i'm on the net all the time now, so to relieve boredom i leave this site open and comment occasionally, and look at the recommended sites ie Gordy !!!

but apparently this is a kiddies site, so i'll have to stop being rude !!:(

the general discussion should be over 16's, i mean who under 16 has anything worth saying as a general discussion ??;)

they should stick to programming, where they are all better than me !!!:)

-KEN-
04-26-2002, 01:42 PM
>>the general discussion should be over 16's, i mean who under 16 has anything worth saying as a general discussion ??

And anyone who says that should be shot repeatedly. I'm sure you're aware I'm 15 for 4 more months...

stevey
04-27-2002, 10:52 AM
Originally posted by -KEN-
>>the general discussion should be over 16's, i mean who under 16 has anything worth saying as a general discussion ??

And anyone who says that should be shot repeatedly. I'm sure you're aware I'm 15 for 4 more months...

:D i'm not entirely serious !!

i was once 15 too !! in fact ive been 1 to 33 inclusive !!

no i never noticed you were <16, in fact i never noticed you were <30 etc, you are obviously more mature than some.....

and u were compaining about oldie drivers, when you don't even drive yet !!(legally anyway).:)

if it makes you feel any better, i failed my test 4 times !! course once i didn't put my seat belt on, once i entered a "reserved for oncoming traffic" lane, once i failed for not making sufficient progress(ie TOO SLOW !!!), and once for hitting a pedestrian !!:)




actually the last is not true...but don't they get in the way !!

Aran
04-27-2002, 11:06 AM
i think that anyone who is doing something obnoxious on the street should be blown up.

stevey
04-27-2002, 11:11 AM
Originally posted by Aran Elus
i think that anyone who is doing something obnoxious on the street should be blown up.

yeah, like trying to cross it !! who do these pedestrians think they are ???

RobR
04-27-2002, 11:12 AM
Originally posted by Aran Elus
i think that anyone who is doing something obnoxious on the street should be blown up.

Errrrrr.......... and your point is?