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minesweeper
04-12-2002, 09:57 AM
I am starting this thread for 2 reasons,

A) The Simpsons one was well received,

B) After the explosion of "Why (insert continent here) sucks" threads died down, there now seems to be an explosion of "(Insert one society here) VS (Insert another society here)" so I thought this might make people cheer up a bit.

Well first off I think Guy Ritchie films and in particular Snatch are the funniest things going!!

From Snatch:

(Turkish and Tommy are two boxing promoters and their star boxer is a massive heavyweight called "Gorgeous George", they live and work from a caravan.)

quote 1.

Turkish: Here's some money, go and get us a new caravan Tommy.

Tommy: Why whats wrong with the one we've got?

(Turkish goes to open the door and the whole thing comes off in his hands)

Turkish(sarcastically): Nothing Tommy, Just not too sure about the colour.

quote 2.

(Gorgeous George has been knocked out by a gypsy)

Turkish to Bricktop (boxing match organiser): I've got a bit of bad news, we've lost Gorgeous George.

Bricktop: What do you mean you've lost him?! He's not a set of ****ing car keys is he?! And he's hardly incon-****ing-spicuous either is he!!

Deckard
04-12-2002, 10:14 AM
I suspect most don't know this movie, but I really enjoyed the scene from Heavy Metal where two aliens are trying to dock their spacecraft while under the influence of, um... pharmaceuticals.

Barjor
04-12-2002, 11:17 AM
Mm lets see....Monty Phyton..The frenchman insulting Arthur from the castle and get involved in a discussion if a pigion can carry a coconut.

*The scen in the pet store with a dead parrot,,or is it sleeping.

funny->simpson(thread);

faulty towers(sp) When John Clesse turn in to a nut case nazi when the german guests arrives.

stevey
04-12-2002, 11:20 AM
i personally like ->

Carry on Cleo -
"infamy......infamy......they've all got it in for me !!!"

Groucho -
"sanity clause??...sanity clause??.....there aint no sanity clause!"

Dumb & Dumber -
when he pops the cork off the shampagne bottle and kills the rare owl !!!
when he says -
"what are the chances of me and you....."
"a chance in a million "
"you mean theres a chance !!!!!!"

when the bus full of babes want a couple of guys to rub lotion in...!!! "your'e in luck ladies.....theres a town just down the road..theres bound to be some guys down there..etc"

when they step off the little motorbike and are frozen together!!!
when one of em has a wizz .........ahhhhhhh!!!!

oh i could go on forever!!!!

Something about Mary -

the bit when the dog gets a dose of speed !! and he sets it on fire trying to resussitate it !!!! :D

when she gets ahem..'something' in her hair !!!:D whats that behind your ear.........?

stevey
04-12-2002, 11:24 AM
>>>faulty towers(sp) When John Clesse turn in to a nut case nazi when the german guests arrives.

classic episode...!!!

"don't mention the war....i did earlier but i think i got away with it...... "

"one goebbels salad for you......" :)

ihsir
04-12-2002, 11:24 AM
I'll put the whole Ace Ventura I and II as the funniest film moment, the greatest film of all times. never laughed so much in my life, when i saw those. Jim Carrey is the best.

and for the record "AV - when nature calls" is funnier.

stevey
04-12-2002, 11:29 AM
Originally posted by ihsir
I'll put the whole Ace Ventura I and II as the funniest film moment, the greatest film of all times. never laughed so much in my life, when i saw those. Jim Carrey is the best.

and for the record "AV - when nature calls" is funnier.

Jim Carrey is a comedy god !!!!
but i can't agree the 2nd film is funnier !!
altho that bit when he sqeezes out of the mechanical rhino.....
oh man.........:D

Imperito
04-12-2002, 11:42 AM
History of the World Part 1 is funny.

ihsir
04-12-2002, 11:42 AM
>>but i can't agree the 2nd film is funnier !!

::clap clap::
::2 beefy looking guards arrive::
GUARDS, FEED HIM TO THE LIONS

:D

stevey
04-12-2002, 12:00 PM
>>>>Bayern is out of the Champions League


Manchester United will win again this year !!!!!!! :p

The final in 1999 was one of THE best sporting moments, oh what joy those last 2 goals in the final minutes !!!!!!
David Beckham is just about to take the last corner of the match, one minute to go, looks up.....they're bringing the Champions league cup down through the crowd to the presentation area.....
the cheeky gits have already attached the Bayern colours to it !!!!!:mad:

doesn't let it put him off, takes the corner, rest is history !! they had to change the ribbon for a RED one !!!!!!!!! hehe

and the Bayern players crying their eyes out, banging the floor with their fists........oh joy.....

now thats comedy !!!!!!! :D

ihsir
04-12-2002, 12:15 PM
Originally posted by stevey
>>>>Bayern is out of the Champions League


Manchester United will win again this year !!!!!!! :p

The final in 1999 was one of THE best sporting moments, oh what joy those last 2 goals in the final minutes !!!!!!
David Beckham is just about to take the last corner of the match, one minute to go, looks up.....they're bringing the Champions league cup down through the crowd to the presentation area.....
the cheeky gits have already attached the Bayern colours to it !!!!!:mad:

doesn't let it put him off, takes the corner, rest is history !! they had to change the ribbon for a RED one !!!!!!!!! hehe

and the Bayern players crying their eyes out, banging the floor with their fists........oh joy.....

now thats comedy !!!!!!! :D



::clap clap::
::2 beefy looking guards arrive::
GUARDS, TAKE THIS INFIDEL AND THROW HIM IN A POT OF BOILING OIL, PULL OUT HIS HAIR, NAILS AND,... <censored due to too much gore and violence and bad language>


MAN UTD. the freakin' luckiest team in the league. :p

novacain
04-12-2002, 12:31 PM
Was it "Idiots in Space" (the English film with Mel Smith)?
Where he sneezes into his goldfish bowl style space helmet. (the only LOL in the film)

Ali G is good, I'm sure I heard the crowd at the cricket chanting 'punani'. (sorry if this actually means something in ? language)

"the F. B. ..... aii"

stevey
04-12-2002, 12:44 PM
Man united lucky ??? just a good football team you heathen ..........:)

Has Ali G made it to the USA yet ??? oh he's so funny !!!

did anyone see the one with the Body Shop woman !!
she was talking about face cream.....and he says "i knock out a fresh batch for Mi Julie every morning !!!!!" :eek:

and the ones with the Beckhams hehe
"when Brooklin grows up..is he gonna be a footballer like his dad, or a singer like.....Maria Carey " :D

"is your little boy speaking proper sentances yet......and what about Brooklyn?? " :)

novacain
04-12-2002, 12:57 PM
Down under Mate, not the USA.
(Since when can the USA whip your pommie but in cricket?)

Yet to see the Beckham's but have heard it is good.

Liked the one at the begining with the drug cop.
Took him a while to twig, takes it so seriously.

I worked with Borat for a while, till he went back to Kazakstan (?).

Or the one with the vegitarian posh git, never will go to MD's. One guy twigs, the posh git dosen't.
Ali G gets him with
"If I said eat this chicken or I'll kill anonther chicken, would you eat it?

stevey
04-12-2002, 01:03 PM
>>>>>Liked the one at the begining with the drug cop.
Took him a while to twig, takes it so seriously

yeah theyve gotta take it seriously or its not funny

that was a classic-
"so Class A drug ??..does that guarantee good quality then "
LMAO

novacain
04-12-2002, 01:08 PM
I was thinking that exact line.

And
"How much would you pay for that hash?"
"80 quid"
"You'd be ripped off then"

Betazep
04-12-2002, 01:10 PM
Office space...

"You don't need a million dollars to do nothin' man..."

"PC load letter... what the $$$$ does that mean?"

"I keep getting the feeling that she is cheating on me." "Yeah... I know what you mean." "What is that supposed to mean?"

"...there's a straight shooter with upper management written all over him."

"Corporate accounts payable, this is Nina speaking, just a moment."

"So you are going to quit then?"


"It's a mat where you jump to conclusions."


Tons of funny statements in that movie. I loved it.

Happy Gilmore

"Some people like to call it luck. I like to call it..... well luck I guess."

"And grizzly adams had a beard."

"Stupid ball. Why don't you go home? Are you too good for your home? ANSWER ME!!!"

funny funny funny.... love it.

novacain
04-12-2002, 01:14 PM
South Park
"Does the Pope s*** in the woods?"

stevey
04-12-2002, 01:21 PM
Originally posted by novacain
I was thinking that exact line.

And
"How much would you pay for that hash?"
"80 quid"
"You'd be ripped off then"

:) he asks the copper what are the effects of this drug ??? -
"oh err...dizziness, feelings of sleepiness, loss of memory, feeling you can do things you can't, giggling at nothing...etc"

oh, are there any negative effects ??????? the look on the guys face !!!

"is it cos i is black??????????"

lightatdawn
04-12-2002, 01:36 PM
>>Office space...

>>"PC load letter... what the $$$$ does that mean?"

LOL! That was classic.

Oh and there so much more! Started laughing just remembering it. Best lines:

(Last line in film)
****in'.... eh.

"What? Besides two chicks at one time?"
"Well, yeah, besides that."

"I.... I.... I belive you have my stapler." <---- must be said in exactly the right voice ;)

Was there an non-funny parts in that movie?

>>Happy Gilmore
>>"Stupid ball. Why don't you go home? Are you too good for your home? ANSWER ME!!!"

LOL (more)! Apparently we have the same taste in comedy, Betazep.


>>South Park

"f*** .......... b**** c*** ... Barbara Streisand!!!!" *bzzaaap*

stevey
04-12-2002, 01:39 PM
south park

where the crippled kids are fighting !!!

"Tiiiiiiimmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"

Unregistered
04-12-2002, 06:12 PM
Originally posted by Barjor
Mm lets see....Monty Phyton..The frenchman insulting Arthur from the castle and get involved in a discussion if a pigion can carry a coconut.




That wasn't the french that was the castel which was run by the people.

face_master
04-12-2002, 07:02 PM
>>Ali G is good, I'm sure I heard the crowd at the cricket chanting 'punani'. (sorry if this actually means something in ? language)

My sister's boyfriend's friend told me that 'punani' mean 'penis' in Indonesian (BTW, i'm not Indonesian).

A funny movie part was in Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back:

They are all in the van driving when Jay is speaking to the animal activist...
Jay: "You're into this becuase of the fine-ass p***y, right?
Other Guy: "No, I'm in it becuase I looooove animals"
Jay: "So...you'd **** a sheep?
Other Guy: "You've got a twisted world perspective, little boy"
Jay: "No, you've got me all wrong. I mean, if you were a sheep, would you **** a sheep?
Other Guy: "If you put it that way, you bet your ass I would!"
Jay: "Thought so...(Out loud) YO! THIS GUY AINT ONE OF US! HE SAID HE'D **** A SHEEP!"
Jay throws him out of the van while its driving at full speed and shouts to him:"NOW WHO'S STUPID YOU DIRTY SHEEP ****ER!!

lightatdawn
04-12-2002, 08:24 PM
>>A funny movie part was in Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back:

WARNING: Do NOT see that movie unless you've consumed large quantities of a certain liquid which is restricted by law to persons of certain ages. I laughed, true, but i'm not sure whether it was out of incredulity or whether it was actually funny.... See Dogma instead. That movie almost made me pee myself.

(Although that particular scene in 'Strikes Back' was kinda funny... ... Boo boo kitty ****... hmm... also dont see it if your offended by the fact that, if the script were posted on this board, it would 85% consist if asterixs...)

face_master
04-13-2002, 05:05 AM
>> if the script were posted on this board, it would 85% consist if asterixs...

Allow me to prove lightatdawn's post...
The rap from the begining of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back:

f**k f**k f**k mother mother f**k morther mother f**k f**k mother f**k mother f**k noich noich noich one two one two there four noich noich noich smokin weed smokin weed doin coke drinkin beers drinkin beers beers beers rollin fattys smokin blunts who smokes the blunts we smoke the blunts rollin blunts and smokin..

"uhh let me get a nicklebag"

fifteen bucks little man put that s**t in my hand if that money doesnt show than you owe me owe me owe

Well, maybe not 85% asterisks...

stevey
04-13-2002, 07:30 PM
:D

i can see that i'll have to go and rent a copy of this film.........
sounds funny