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stevey
04-10-2002, 03:39 PM
Personally i think The Simpsons is one of the funniest progs ive ever seen.....
just a little quote from it can send my into giggling fits.....
heres a couple to start off with -

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by minesweeper
And what about when the guy who owns the bar gets a US Navy standard fryer that can flash fry an entire cow in 30 seconds, Homer orders a steak and when told it would take a few seconds replies "Oh! I wanted it now!!". Brilliant!!

heres mine -
...."don't worry boy's he's got to come out sometime..." (police chief Wiggum, when Homer's head has been turned into a doughnut !!!!
:D and he's nibbling at it !!!! oh thats comedy.....

Fordy
04-10-2002, 03:54 PM
Definately not word perfect...but went something like this;




:: Krusty is up before the IRS for non payment of taxes ::

IRS Man - "Don’t worry Krusty...this is America - we don’t send our celebrities to jail!! We’ll just garnish your salary...say...75% over 25 years?"

Krusty – "Agh!!! But I wasn’t planning to live that long!!!!"

IRS Man – "Hmm....better make that 95%!!"

That sketch kills me every time......if any of you have had the misfortune of dealing with Taxmen will love how close this is to reality!!!

Barjor
04-10-2002, 03:58 PM
Homer

"Kids, You try your best and you fail missarebly, The lesson is...never try"

stevey
04-10-2002, 04:03 PM
like it guys :) LMAO

ive just seen the one today, where Homer gets fat so he doesn't have to go to work, he sits at home on a computer !! :D
hes got the little wooden birdy thing pressing "Y" to everthing !!

and when he found out he can just type Y instead of YES, he says
"wow...ive just tripled my productivity, they ought to give me a raise!!"

taylorguitarman
04-10-2002, 04:11 PM
After winning an award for his movie:

Barney: "From now on I'll be a new Barnard Gumble. I'm working.. clean and sober."
Mayor: "Congratulations, Barney, and enjoy your grand prize: a lifetime supply of Duff beer."
Barney: "Oahhh, just hook it to my veins!"

stevey
04-10-2002, 04:18 PM
:) can you remember when barney an homer are training to be astronaughts.....barney is a star surprisingly..... until homer slips him a drink of something and he reverts to type rapidly !!! i mean rapidly !!!

and when Homer's in space and bursts a bag of crisps...hes floating in zero grav, chomping them..."don't worry boys,leave this one to me !!" spinning round with the 2001 music in the background.........
the ants are saying "protect the queeen....who's the queen....me..."

Kent Brockman is saying "wellcome to our new insect masters...etc"

classic

-KEN-
04-10-2002, 04:23 PM
Ralph, after just winning the diorama contest: "I beat the smart kids! I beat the smart kids!...::falls::...I bent my wookie!"

Ralph: "And that's where I saw the leprechaun...he tells me to burn things!"

Ralph: "I eated the Purple berries!"
Bart: "How do they taste, ralph?"
Ralph, slowly falling to the ground "They taste like burning!"

Ralph, after just finding out the mayor will be zapped by the electric chair him and bart turned on: "Now he's going to smell like hotdogs!"

Oh man, I can't remember any non-ralph ones right now, but there have been some where I've actually fallen out of my chair with laughter.

stevey
04-10-2002, 04:38 PM
>>> Oh man, I can't remember any non-ralph ones right now, but there have been some where I've actually fallen out of my chair with laughter.

hey who's a Ralph fan then !!!!!!


:D oh i'm ........ing myself just thinking about ralph !!!!!! he makes his dad look smart !!!!

Brian
04-10-2002, 04:40 PM
"mmm erotic cakes" - homer in the real world.

incognito
04-10-2002, 05:01 PM
"Hello? Operator! Give me the number for 911!"


::homer poses as Mr. Burns to get money from a bank::
bank teller: What's your name?
homer: Montgomery
bank teller: Last name?
homer: don't know.



"America's health care system is second only to Japan ... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain ... well, all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!"


"Son, when you participate in
sporting events, its not whether
you win or lose... it's how drunk
you get. "


Homer (reading Internet for Dummies):
Wow... they've got the Internet on computers now?

Homer: But every time I learn
something new, it pushes out
something old! Remember that
time I took a home winemaking
course and forgot how to drive?
Marge: That's because you were
drunk!
Homer: And how!


A more recent one is when homer got percription marihuana and he came home high and Marge was talking something about "Homer that stuff is all over the place, the bathroom, our bedroom, and our kitchen"
homer: "We have a Kitchen?!!!!!!!!!" Runs to kitchen.

doubleanti
04-10-2002, 05:16 PM
>Paraguay!"

haha "u r gay"... hehe... that was funny...

oh that was hilarious the othe rnight... woot!

oh by the way, what's the name of that song? y'know, the one before the smoke on the water, the one they played in the other episode with those two hippies and the juice factory wehre everyone gets high off juice? oh and any recommendations by Phish? i got tons of phish covers... :)

thanks!

stevey
04-10-2002, 05:17 PM
>>>>>>A more recent one is when homer got percription marihuana and he came home high and Marge was talking something about "Homer that stuff is all over the place, the bathroom, our bedroom, and our kitchen"
homer: "We have a Kitchen?!!!!!!!!!" Runs to kitchen.

oh nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i haven't seen that one !!!!!!!!! :mad: :(

hey, thinking about Chief Wiggum ->

xds4lx
04-10-2002, 06:00 PM
That one was great, and the one with Mojo the helper monkey, i cant remember a quote now but ill think hard.

tim545666
04-10-2002, 06:56 PM
Ralph: Miss Krobaple and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby smiled at me

Ralph: Hi supernintendo Chalmers

Ralph: Me fail english? Thats umpossible!

DrakkenKorin
04-10-2002, 07:01 PM
Personal fav:

Ralph typing on the computer:
C-A-T Cat ... I'm Learnding

blight2c
04-10-2002, 07:25 PM
i like the bit where snake is trying to steal back his car from homer, so he pulls the string across the road, trying to cut off homer's head (homer, of course, ducks at the last minute) but the guy driving behind him holds his sandwhich up saying "they forgot to cut my snadwhich again", and then . . . off comes his arm. lol, you just don't get better than that.

stevey
04-10-2002, 07:36 PM
Originally posted by tim545666
Ralph: Miss Krobaple and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby smiled at me


oh jesus, ..:D :D

i remember that line now.........but i never got it before !!!!! :D :D

jinx
04-10-2002, 07:51 PM
>Francine the Bully

Dr. fink at the convention...


<fink (frustrated)> Oya...Pi is just three!

I nearly fell off my bar stool, then wondered what shape it would be if Pi was actually just 3.0000000000000000000000......whoa...:confused: :rolleyes:

Commander
04-10-2002, 08:43 PM
what i like about the simpsons is that that they can make you laugh on the unfunny things.........


EX....

moe's bar....on the simpson's special.....when grampa was the love tester and was talking to moe and asked him to impress the juice (i forgot the exact line) out of the next person that walks in..and obviously, homer walks in..there's was nothing funny about that scene b4 the put in a audience laughter....that just cracked me up!!!

another one.....

when homer was in the clown college, and krusty was telling them about the funny place names....homer didn't laugh at any of them....and neither did I.....but when krusty said seattle, and Homer started laughing at that......... it hit the jackpot.....




-----------------


bart : just becuse you don't guys hear any rumours, I have been charged for fraud in Australia...
homer : that's no reason to block the TV


-----------------

ticket seller in euru E & S land : Who r u to resist it eh? .... c'mon...my childern need wine......[starts talking in freach]

-------------------

and I love the way home screams

--------------------

homer : Lisa....shutup with that saxomophone!

Govtcheez
04-10-2002, 08:54 PM
What a beautiful topic - thanks, stevey...

Homer:"Look, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me, so let's get through this and I can get back to killing you with beer"

The entire episode where Homer's paranoid about Bart being gay...

Mel Gibson episode:
Producer 1:"Have you seen the director's cut of Booty Call? It's fabulous!"
Producer 2:"Even more fabulous than the original? Because that was pretty fabulous"

On the Lord of the Flies episode:
Nelson: "How many monkey butlers will there be?"
Bart: "2, at first, but they'll train others"

Anytime Ralph opens his mouth... That boy is a genius!

doubleanti
04-10-2002, 09:34 PM
supernintendochalmers... LAMO, er LAHMO
er...LMaO/// there ya go...
ahem...

so, what's the name of that song!!!!>??>

shtarker
04-10-2002, 11:18 PM
The wacking day episode:

Miss Krobaple: Embigens, now there's a word I never heard before moving to Springfield.
Miss Hoover: Why not? Its a perfictly kromulant word.

face_master
04-10-2002, 11:48 PM
(One of those episodes where they all sit on the couch and homer/marge tell the story of somrthing - eg. lisa's first word...)

The simpsons are sitting on the couch telling some story when Lisa says something that homer doesn't understand (can't remember exactly)

Homer: (zoomed in on his brain) "You better say something smart or they'll know that you didn't understnd it..."
Homer: (out loud) Takes one to know one!!
Homer: (zoomed in on his brain) "SWISH!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And i love it how they make things look fake on purpose (eg. the videos about Jebadiah Springfield- the town's foudner)

RobS
04-11-2002, 06:10 AM
"Some men hunt for sport others hunt for food,
The only thing for which I'll hunt's an outfit that looks good...
See my vest see my vest
made with real gorilla chest "
and so on

The Burlesque House episode

The Insanity Pepper episode

Ralph saying "My knob tastes funny"

Homer whilst crashing his car
Homer "D'oh"
Lisa "A deer"
Marge "A female deer"

Any flashbacks of Dr Hibbert for the hair

Homer at the Kwikimart HQ
"Welcome, you may ask 3 questions"
"Are you really the boss of all the Kwikimarts?"
"Yes"
"Really?"
"Yes"
"Really?"
"Yes, thank you, come again"

The Indiana Jones style theft of Homer's change jar start to an episode.

The Roadrunner style Homer chasing Bart start to an episode

Anyway I could do this all day so will stop there.

stevey
04-11-2002, 08:46 AM
an honourable mention must go to.......

Dr Nick Riviera !!!!! :D Quack extrordinaire................
----------------------------------------------

what about when Lisa tears up a cheque (because it was unethical) for a 1% percentage of $100 million profits from Burn's co-venture with Lisa !! (recycling plant)

Homer collapses with a double heart attack !!
wakes up in hospital, tells Lisa "its OK sweetie, daddy understands, but we really could have done with that $10,000 !

Lisa whispers to him "but dad, 1% of $100 million is........."

scene cuts away to the corridor.......alarms and flashing lights outside his room...........EMERGENCY....CODE BLUE.....CODE BLUE !!!

oh joy...:D :D

dbaryl
04-11-2002, 11:47 AM
D'oh!

:)

ygfperson
04-11-2002, 01:08 PM
Homer:"Hey, get off my sugar. Bad bees! Bad! Ow. Oww! Oh, they're defending themselves somehow!"

Burns: “Oh, meltdown. It’s one of those annoying ‘buzz words’. We prefer to call it an unrequested fission surplus.”

and the entire scene:
Amish guy:"T'is a fine barn to be sure, but t'is no pool." Homer:"D'oheth!"

Burns: "Take that local tavern, take that kwiki mart, take that NUCLEAR POWER PLANT.....oh fiddlesticks!"

Hutz: “Mr Simpson, don’t you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasn’t on, but I think I got the gist of it.”

Hutz: “I’ve argued in front of every judge in this state. Often as a lawyer.”

Sideshow Bob: “No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it.”

Homer:"Wow,some one packed light."
Lisa:"Maybe you're getting stronger."
Homer:"Well, I have been eating more."

Bob: "Attempted murder? Now what is that? Do we give a nobel prize for attempted chemistry?"

Lionel Hutz:"Uh oh,we drew Judge Schneider."
Marge:"Is that bad?"
Lionel Hutz:"Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog."
Marge:"Really?"
Lionel Hutz:"Well, replace 'kinda' with 'repeatedly' and 'dog' with 'son'."

rofl

C_Coder
04-11-2002, 01:23 PM
Nelson: "ha ha"

jeez that laugh kills me everytime.

doubleanti
04-11-2002, 03:45 PM
hehe... "for no reason... her's A-pu....." :)

what's the name of that song!!!? :)

ygfperson
04-11-2002, 08:38 PM
those were the days?

stevey
04-12-2002, 11:46 AM
The entire "Stonecutters" episode.

"who keeps the metric system down......who controls the British pound...WE DO WE DO......."

"who made Steve Guttenberg a star......who kept down the electric car........"
"who keeps the Martians under wraps..........." (cut to little green man, singing and drinking beer !!......"

:D

tim545666
04-12-2002, 08:33 PM
(Homer singing)"Homer, Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in history.
From the town of Springfeild, he's about to hit a chestnut tree... D'OH!"

ygfperson
04-12-2002, 08:35 PM
chalmers: aroura borealis? ... localized entirely inside your kitchen?
skinner: yes
chalmers: can i see it?
skinner: hmm.. no.

Dual-Catfish
04-12-2002, 10:42 PM
Clown college:

Homer: Haha got it! No shock for me!
Krusty: Oh yeah!

Zooms out to Krusty chasing Homer... they're both running EXTREMELY fast which makes the whole thing hilarious.

Barney puts a snake in the cash register at moes as a joke.. it pops out and bites moe, then homer unscrews the salt shaker and salf gets everwhere when someone uses it, the homer gets kicked out of the bar. Moe saying something like "You crossed the line"

Dual-Catfish
04-12-2002, 10:59 PM
2 More

At itcy and scratcy land when homer and bart get detained, Marge comes in to get them, and in embarassment she says 'Oh I wish there was a hole I could just crawl into and die.' and the guard says 'Okay, throw her in the hole' (austrian accent)

The Hellfish episode, when they recover the paintings, the police and German guy with the convertable and techno music pull up.
While putting the paintings into the trunk the German guy yells "Hey und dummkopf, watch out for the cd changer in my trunk... idiot"
Then he speeds off; bart hugs grandpa..
"What if someone sees you hugging your grandpa?"
"I don't care it anyone knows I love my grandpa"
German guy (stops his car a little ways away and yells back): "Hey funboys, get a room"

stevey
04-13-2002, 07:12 PM
:D

Favourite Moe line -

some guys come into the bar (they havent bought a drink) and are threatening to beat Homer up

Moe steps in threateningly -

"HEY..........if you want to beat up MY friend.........in MY bar........

thats a two round minimum!!"

ygfperson
04-14-2002, 06:16 PM
marge is driving, falls asleep at the wheel, bumps her head on the horn(sounds like a doorbell), says "i'll get it", and jumps out of the car

hk_mp5kpdw
04-15-2002, 05:52 AM
Save me Jebus!!

stevey
04-15-2002, 11:24 AM
Homer goes to a party full of top people, upper class, rich folks.....

Someone asks him what he did in his spare time...
He says "well i spend a LOT of time on the couch !!"

They all murmer knowingly "yeah, tell us about it etc......" (thinking he meant visiting the Shrinks !!!) :)

Strider
04-15-2002, 07:18 PM
The Halloween episode that parodies the Nightmare on Elm Street films.

Homer and Marge attend a meeting at the school. Homer pauses on the way to the auditorium to read a sign posted by the thermostat.

Homer reading:
"Don't Touch! Willy."
"....Hmm, good advice."

Homer: turns the heat up.

David

Azuth
04-17-2002, 10:24 PM
Hellfish Episode - Grampa Simpson Cutting mooring chain on Flanders launch.

Conversation along lines of
"Howdly ho there, see you're gonna steal the old boatarooni"
"Yup"
"Well, Okely okely, You gonna bring it back?"
"Maybe"
"You know how to drive a power boat?"
"Nope"
"No prob-diddly-oblem, kids, we're gonna have us a camp out in the dingy"
"YAY"

Ooh, and gambling/casino episode, when Homer tells Marge she's sore because she was against it from the beginning. Marge says she was all for the idea.
Homer - "I have a photographic memory"
Cuts to Homer's memory of the town meeting, with dancing people, clowns, Homer being very swish.

Very funny.

face_master
04-18-2002, 01:52 AM
In the episode where Homer performs a fire drill to get eveyone out of bed and into the car so they can go to some Duff amusement park...

When they enter:

The Guy who greets them: "ok, whos the designated driver here?
Marge: "I am"
The Guy...: "Ok, step into the 'house of fun' (or something)"
He takes her to a cage with people lifting weights and playing the harmonica like in a jail...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

When homer starts his own bussiness becuase Flanders did
1. Holds his pencils in butter
2. When he is reading a book on bussiness says to himself: "the internet? Is that thing still around?
3. The comic store guy rings up homer and starts talking about a better internet connection so he can download porn faster and Homer has no idea what he's talking about. Then homer says : "Can I have some money now?


And in the end Bill Gates comes in and smashes the place

Azuth
04-18-2002, 06:51 PM
ooh. episode on last night, had to add this.
Bart raises the dead and creates zombies. Homer is protecting the family with a big gun, Flanders comes over to eat Homers brain, homer shoots him!
Bart "You shot Zombie flanders"
Homer "He was a zombie?"

Commander
04-18-2002, 09:01 PM
That shooting scene idea was from Blade (the first action in the party when he shoots all those vamps) (I liked it)

one question..(for Blade II)..how did the guy(Blade's friend) who died in the first movie came back in the second....

Unregistered
04-19-2002, 01:35 PM
Originally posted by Commander
one question..(for Blade II)..how did the guy(Blade's friend) who died in the first movie came back in the second....

...he got better, probably one of those 24hr death things :)

dbaryl
04-19-2002, 05:16 PM
I want to throw this in a different direction: "What is your favorite 'The Simpsons'..." character?

I would have to go with Ralph, he is just so, well... ummm, dumb :) Was going to make a new thread with a poll, but there are just too many characters for the options... so... who would you choose?

Deckard
04-19-2002, 05:27 PM
Originally posted by dbaryl
I want to throw this in a different direction: "What is your favorite 'The Simpsons'..." character?Moe. He's the best.

stevey
04-19-2002, 05:36 PM
Originally posted by dbaryl
I want to throw this in a different direction: "What is your favorite 'The Simpsons'..." character?

I would have to go with Ralph, he is just so, well... ummm, dumb :) Was going to make a new thread with a poll, but there are just too many characters for the options... so... who would you choose?

yeah, theres so many funny characters !!
i'd probably have to say the obvious and go for good old Homer himself....

but Ralf, Flanders, Burns, Moe......i'd give major credit to !

tell you who i don't like......Marge.....jeez...but i guess we need her as a foil for Homer.

Commander
04-19-2002, 06:22 PM
BART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BART!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!BART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BART!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!BART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BART!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!BART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BART !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BART!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!BART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BART!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!BART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BA RT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BART!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I'd pick no one else! Especially not marge and lisa...

face_master
04-19-2002, 06:53 PM
I have just one more simpsons moment I would like to share. Its from the episode which is a rip-off of 101 dalmations.

All watching TV and all of the dogs are on the floor watching too.
One of the dogs puts its paws on the Tv and stays there for a second
Marge: "Oh look at that. How cute."
The cat does the same thing
Homer: "(Shouting) Hey! Somebody get that cat out of the way!!"