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Govtcheez
02-17-2002, 09:27 AM
Here are the reactions when somebody leaves a glass of milk next to the keyboard.

Optimist:
The glass is half full.

Pessimist:
The glass is half empty.

Apple Computer:
You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.

Assembly programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.

Basic programmers:
No thanks; I'm still breast feeding.

Bill Gates:
Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.

C Programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.

CIA:
What makes you think that's milk?

National news media:
Hey, we wanted OJ!

Non-procedural language programmers:
I drank it when nobody was looking.

NSA:
We know what it really is.

Paranoid:
Here is a glass just sitting here. Why? Who put it here? WHY WHY WHY!!!
SOMEONE IS TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!

Pascal programmers:
Well, what type of milk is it?

Pentium users:
I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don't hold me to that.

Prolog programmers:
I know I drank it - just don't ask me how.

Copy protection crazies:
Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!

Faith-healer:
If we worship it, it will feel better.

Feminist:
How come HIS glass is bigger than MINE?

Free Software Foundation:
That milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind!

Futurist:
The milk's in the wrong half of the glass.

Fuzzy logic guys:
I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.

IBM:
Rent the glass from us and we'll fill it with something we know is good for
you.

Idealist:
In a descent world, this glass would be filled to the brim and big enough
for everyone to enjoy.

IRS:
Thanks for getting your milk witholding correct this year.

Mac users:
Where's my pump?

MIS:
I'LL DRINK IT IF YOU CAN GIVE ME UNTIL NEXT YEAR.

Schroedinger:
That stupid cat got into the milk again!

Security consultant:
Where'd the rest of the milk go?

Shareware game author:
That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.

UI designers:
What's that crap in my glass?

UNIX users:
Nahh . . . too easy.

Windows users:
Where's my straw?

adrianxw
02-17-2002, 11:54 AM
Engineer:
Tut! That glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Xterria
02-17-2002, 01:14 PM
nice job...you make that up?

ober
02-17-2002, 01:54 PM
LOL... good one Cheez.. :D

Prelude
02-17-2002, 02:46 PM
>C Programmers:
>No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.
Actually, I do. It's more efficient that way because then I don't have to wash a glass :D

-Prelude

Invincible
02-17-2002, 05:08 PM
Java Programmer:
This would be great in coffee! I hope it's skim.

-KEN-
02-17-2002, 06:33 PM
KEN:
Wait! Most of these jokes weren't funny. Oh look, a glass of milk...

Brian
02-17-2002, 06:34 PM
enlightened COBOL Programmer:

That glass of milk is far better than COBOL

Nick
02-17-2002, 06:49 PM
http://www.darvill.clara.net/funnies/funny15.htm

Nutshell
02-18-2002, 01:39 AM
Cool joke, though i didn't get some of the programmer types.

Govtcheez
02-18-2002, 07:51 AM
Govtcheez:
-KEN-'s got no sense of humor. Hey, milk!

That got e-mailed to me, Xterria