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happyclown
01-03-2009, 09:51 PM
Ok, who would win in unarmed combat between James Bond vs Jason Bourne?

I say Bourne.

Thantos
01-03-2009, 10:02 PM
Which Bond?

I'd put Sean Connery Bond against Bourne and think that Sean would come out ahead. Manly because no one can resist Sean at that age.

h3ro
01-03-2009, 10:08 PM
Where is Steven Segal?

Thantos
01-03-2009, 10:53 PM
Having his pony tailed pulled off by Sean.

kermit
01-03-2009, 10:56 PM
Clearly James Bond would be the victor (according to GoogleDuel (http://cgi.sfu.ca/~gpeters/cgi-bin/pear/battle.php?word1=Jason+Bourne&word2=James+Bond&key=&B1=Submit), that is)

SlyMaelstrom
01-03-2009, 11:55 PM
Clearly James Bond would be the victor (according to GoogleDuel (http://cgi.sfu.ca/~gpeters/cgi-bin/pear/battle.php?word1=Jason+Bourne&word2=James+Bond&key=&B1=Submit), that is)Search populaity isn't going to help him from the brutal beating Bourne could lay on him.

My opinion is that based on the fight scenes from Bond movies vs the fight scenes from Bourne movies they might appear pretty evenly matched. However, I think the thing that drives me towards Bourne is the fact that James Bond is really supposed to just be an elite spy where Bourne is supposed to be some sort of hidden military training experiment. Where Bond was in control of his own training, I think Bourne was in a program that dedicated him to training all day every day for a substantial period of time.

I go with Jason Bourne.

happyclown
01-04-2009, 01:42 AM
I went for Bourne for a number of reasons:

1. Bond spends significant time womanising, drinking, and spending MI5's(taxpayer's) money, living the high life. So he's somewhat distracted for most of the time.

2. Bond relies too much on gagdgets ie. explosive devices, guns, high tech stuff. He only uses unarmed combat when there's no weapon lying around.

3. Bourne is not a womaniser(as far as I am aware), doesn't seem to drink to excess, and operates alone, without a big budget, so has no high tech weaponry.

In unarmed combat, Bourne should knock Bond out within the second or third round. :D

Thantos
01-04-2009, 01:46 AM
Except that Sir Sean would never allow himself to get into such a fight. He is far too dignified for that.

happyclown
01-04-2009, 01:50 AM
Ok, I am getting a strong impression that your amorous feelings for Connery will cause you to repeatedly bring up his name in a thread about Bond vs Bourne. :D

And what is Segal doing in this thread? :D

jEssYcAt
01-04-2009, 01:52 AM
And what is Segal doing in this thread? :D

Being in a place he is not wanted, as usual?

Thantos
01-04-2009, 02:33 AM
The real question is:
Jean-Claude Van Damme vs Steven Segal

SlyMaelstrom
01-04-2009, 02:59 AM
The real question is:
Jean-Claude Van Damme vs Steven SegalThe real question is how long can you get those two that close to each other before someone tries to drop a piano on their heads?

h3ro
01-04-2009, 05:27 AM
Jean-Claude Van Damme vs Steven Segal
Its unfair to not give Chuck Norris a go as well.

h3ro
01-04-2009, 05:29 AM
Mister Rogers would win (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwBK31tC5QM)

Thantos
01-04-2009, 10:34 AM
Its unfair to not give Chuck Norris a go as well.

Well I was trying to make it a fair fight. Then only real contest with Chuck Norris is: Chuck Norris vs God

VirtualAce
01-04-2009, 01:23 PM
1. Bond spends significant time womanising, drinking, and spending MI5's(taxpayer's) money, living the high life. So he's somewhat distracted for most of the time.

2. Bond relies too much on gagdgets ie. explosive devices, guns, high tech stuff. He only uses unarmed combat when there's no weapon lying around.


You obviously haven't seen the new Bond. Last several movies the number of gadgets have been next to nil and Bond has been much less sophisticated and regal and more gritty and rough around the edges.

Bond would win.

C_ntua
01-04-2009, 01:49 PM
When did god become immune to roundhouses?

As for the Bourne vs Bond, there shouldn't be any question. Bourne would kick the crap out of Bond, but Bond would win any time

laserlight
01-04-2009, 01:52 PM
When did god become immune to roundhouses?
Since like... forever.


Bourne would kick the crap out of Bond, but Bond would win any time
That's profound :)

stevesmithx
01-04-2009, 02:06 PM
Why? it's bond for sure.
Bond would have defeated bourne by the time he figures out who his enemy is(Bourne has amnesia like disease, remember?) :p

C_ntua
01-04-2009, 02:06 PM
Since like... forever.


So, could an omnipotent God create someone that could kick his ass? The answer is obviously yes.

So, if God has already done it, then that someone is truly Chuck Norris.
If God hasn't done it yet, then Chuck Norris is from the future.

Thantos
01-04-2009, 02:35 PM
Why? it's bond for sure.
Bond would have defeated bourne by the time he figures out who his enemy is(Bourne has amnesia like disease, remember?) :p

After which Bond would show Bourne's lady friend a good time ;)

stevesmithx
01-04-2009, 02:39 PM
After which Bond would show Bourne's lady friend a good time ;)

Come on dude, get a life. ;)

SlyMaelstrom
01-04-2009, 02:43 PM
So, could an omnipotent God create someone that could kick his ass? The answer is obviously yes.If one must create that which can defeat them then one is only defeating themself.

stevesmithx
01-04-2009, 02:47 PM
So, could an omnipotent God create someone that could kick his ass? The answer is obviously yes.


This thing is called paradox or something.I can't remember the term.
Here is something similar along those lines:
What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?

abachler
01-04-2009, 03:26 PM
This thing is called paradox or something.I can't remember the term.
Here is something similar along those lines:
What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?

The unstoppable force is converted to heat, so it isnt stopped, and the unmoveable object becomes infinitly hot, so it isnt moved.

Now imagine what it would be like if nothing existed, not even space or time.

happyclown
01-04-2009, 04:35 PM
The real question is:
Jean-Claude Van Damme vs Steven Segal

Van Damme vs Ralph Machio(karate kid)

Segal vs Jack Baur(from 24)

Chuck Norris vs Bruce Lee

Sean Connery vs Van Damme(in the bad acting category).

EDIT: just kidding with the karate kid.

Van Damme vs Jet Li/Jacky Chan

Thantos
01-04-2009, 04:49 PM
>Van Damme vs Ralph Machio(karate kid)
Van Damme

>Segal vs Jack Baur(from 24)
Segal

>Chuck Norris vs Bruce Lee
Norris

>Sean Connery vs Van Damme(in the bad acting category).
Considering that Connery actually acts well I'd have to go with Van Damme

>Van Damme vs Jet Li/Jacky Chan
Van Damme if there are no lose objects or bars for Chan to jump around on.

doubleanti
01-08-2009, 02:16 AM
What about Frank Martin?! He's the MAN!

happyclown
01-10-2009, 06:59 AM
What about Frank Martin?! He's the MAN!

Never heard of him.

Salem
01-10-2009, 07:46 AM
I've never heard of a bond shell.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bourne_shell

Besides,
chmod 007
is pretty useless IMO.

SlyMaelstrom
01-10-2009, 07:55 AM
I've never heard of a bond shell.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bourne_shellYes, and what would Bourne be without an awesome sequel? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bourne_again_shell)

doubleanti
01-13-2009, 04:03 AM
From the Transporter Series, Frank Martin. He kicks ass and always uses weapons he finds on the job. He can tie up a group of mobsters using a firehose, and can fly a helicopter, car, bike, and skateboard all in one chase scene. He's awesome!

happyclown
01-13-2009, 03:53 PM
Oh yeah, I love Transporter. I was watching The Day The Earth Stood Still, and they had the Transporter 3 trailer.

How could anyone forget a memorable scene from Transporter 2, where Frank gets rid of a bomb stuck to the bottom of his car, by driving off a high-rise carpark, causing the car to twist in midair, and catching the bomb on a hook hanging from a giant crane? The bomb then explodes in midair, whilst the car lands perfectly on 4 wheels. Amazing!

It's possible Frank could beat both Bourne and Bond. :)

abachler
01-13-2009, 04:08 PM
It's possible Frank could beat both Bourne and Bond. :)

Frank could beat Bond, Bourne, Batman, Conan, and Chuck Norris all at the same time using only a broken pinky toe while hung over.

happyclown
01-13-2009, 04:09 PM
Frank could beat Bond, Bourne, Batman, Conan, and Chuck Norris all at the same time using only a broken pinky toe while hung over.

And his tuxedo would still look immaculate. :)

Graham Aker
01-25-2009, 02:26 PM
>Van Damme vs Ralph Machio(karate kid)
Van Damme

>Segal vs Jack Baur(from 24)
Segal

>Chuck Norris vs Bruce Lee
Norris

>Sean Connery vs Van Damme(in the bad acting category).
Considering that Connery actually acts well I'd have to go with Van Damme

>Van Damme vs Jet Li/Jacky Chan
Van Damme if there are no lose objects or bars for Chan to jump around on.
Wait, what? Bruce Lee would tear Chuck Norris apart in a real fight. Chuck is a good tournament fighter- Bruce Lee's the BEST street fighter.

Plus, Bruce taught young Chuck Norris how to fight to begin with.

Frank could beat Bond, Bourne, Batman, Conan, and Chuck Norris all at the same time using only a broken pinky toe while hung over.
Pfft, The Bride would break Frank in two. Easily.

SlyMaelstrom
01-25-2009, 02:29 PM
I vote Maxwell Smart over all of the above.

Graham Aker
01-25-2009, 02:40 PM
Who's this Maxwell Smart?

laserlight
01-25-2009, 02:59 PM
It does not matter, I will zap them all with my laser and they will all be very dead.

Graham Aker
01-25-2009, 03:07 PM
But are your lasers Orphen-Seeking Lasers?

*Gets shot for the stupid joke*

Speaking of which, anyone who got that joke watches too much Gundam SEED.

SlyMaelstrom
01-25-2009, 04:41 PM
Who's this Maxwell Smart?One serious em'f-er. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:DonAdams.jpg)

Graham Aker
01-25-2009, 04:50 PM
Wiki page or he doesn't exist.

On topic, I have decided that Sir Henry from No More Heroes would slaughter everyone mentioned in this thread with both his arms tied behind his back. And feet nailed to the ground. And Blindfolded.

kermit
01-25-2009, 05:10 PM
It does not matter, I will zap them all with my laser and they will all be very dead.

pew pew pew!

Graham Aker
01-25-2009, 05:17 PM
"Pew pew pew"? What, laserlight's a TIE Fighter now?

SlyMaelstrom
01-25-2009, 05:26 PM
Wiki page or he doesn't exist.
Get Smart is an American comedy television series that satirized the secret agent genre. Created by Mel Brooks and Buck Henry, the show starred Don Adams as Maxwell Smart as Agent 86 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Get_Smart)He was a James Bond-like spoof from an extremely popular American comedy show in the 60s. They made a movie out of the character last year with Steve Carell.

Graham Aker
01-25-2009, 05:35 PM
Oh, right. Get Smart. I knew I should have gone to see that while it was still in theatres.

Sir Henry could still hand him his ass.