"who was jogging in a storm"
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/6896530.stm
The real advice would be stop being such a dumb-ass by going jogging in storms. Your current accessory list is irrelevant.
Or just give them a fake death certificate with a link to a www.darwinawards.com honourable mention, and let them figure it out for themselves.