Thread: New Chemical Element Found

  1. #1
    and the hat of int overfl Salem's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    The edge of the known universe

    New Chemical Element Found

    Probably old....

    The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a
    new chemical element. A major research institution has recently announced
    the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

    The new element has been named *Governmentium*. Governmentium (Gv) has one
    neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant
    deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

    These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
    surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
    Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
    detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
    contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would
    normally take less than a second to take over four days to complete.

    Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but
    instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant
    neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass
    will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause
    more morons to become neutrons, forming iso-dopes.

    This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe
    that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
    This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

    When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element
    which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as
    many peons but twice as many morons.

  2. #2
    Registered User
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    Nov 2002
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! 15/10

    It is the product of nuclear fusion of Peonium and Moronium.
    Last edited by Rez; 12-17-2005 at 04:22 AM.

  3. #3
    Registered User kryptkat's Avatar
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    Dec 2002

  4. #4

    Join Date
    May 2005
    I don't get it.
    I'm not immature, I'm refined in the opposite direction.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    To code is divine

  6. #6
    Registered User
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    Nov 2002
    how many moroniums are here at cprog?

  7. #7
    Devil's Advocate SlyMaelstrom's Avatar
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    May 2004
    Out of scope
    Vote Republicanium for a smaller, smarter Governmentium.
    Sent from my iPadŽ

  8. #8
    Registered Luser cwr's Avatar
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    Jul 2005
    Sydney, Australia
    It was originally administratium, and has been around for at least 16 years

    I've not heard it referred to as governmentium before.

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