I've decided that I'm going to change my real-life name.
I quite like the name "Mark" for a first-name, and "Read" is a not-uncommon surname in these parts.
In a departure from normal conventions, I've decided that a middle name of "Forums" would be quite distinctive, given the amount of time I spend here.
People would then be able to address me personally by clicking on my very own personalised menu option Mark Forums Read