I was reading the entertainment supplement with todays paper. It contained a list of mistranslations that had appeared in the subtitles of English language programs broadcast on the television here.

Some of them are absolutely hysterical. Unfortunately, so you can read them, I'll have to translate the Danish back to English.

I can vaguely understand these ones...

"Jim is a Vietnam vet" -> "Jim is an animal doctor from Vietnam"

"You're grounded" -> "You are forbidden to fly"

"You've got ivory skin" -> "You have elephant skin"

"He built all the components from scratch" -> "He built all the components from household waste"

"The dynamite is connected to a timing device" -> "The dynamite is connected to a time machine"

"Hit the dirt" -> "Spank the soil"

"Bring your spirit level" -> "Come in an average mood"

"How about a tactical airstrike" -> "How about a tactical airport strike" (as in refusing to work)

In these PC times it is difficult to make jokes" -> "It is difficult to make jokes in the computer age"

"I have more power in my pinkie than he has in his whole body" -> "I have more power in my penis than he has in his whole body"

These ones left me really wondering what was going through the mind of the translator...

"Would you like a cup of tea" -> "Will you have a slice of pizza"

"He reciprocated" -> "He was stuck in his zipper"

"I'll unhitch the horse team" -> "I'll make a cup of tea"

There were loads more of these - made me laugh.