Thread: Drinking stories

This weekend, my girlfriend and I journeyed to Indiana to visit some friends and consume massive quantities of alcohol. 'Twas a good time, but it's made me think about other things I've done while drunk.

The best story is one I've told before. It happened last summer at my younger sister's graduation party. The day was full of the normal kind of things a family party is full of - hot dogs, potato salad, beer, and volleyball. I took it easy most of the day, only having about 4 or 5 beers. I was totally sober, and even made a 7:30 tee time the next morning at a local golf course.

Night eventually began to fall, however, and my extended family began to leave. I was quick to procure a pint bottle of Jack Daniels sour Mash whiskey. For about 45 minutes, I sat in a chair with the pint bottle in one hand and the and a shot glass in the other. My mother noticed my grandma staring at me and suggested I mix the whiskey with something else, so grandma didn't think I was such an alcoholic. I did, and in doing so, found out that with enough JD in your system, Diet Dr Pepper DOES taste like regular Dr Pepper.

It's all a blur from there. From what I can remember (or I've been informed of after the fact), I:
-Pinched a married 40-year-old's ass while her husband was not far away
-Spent a lot of time swimming (I'm stunned I'm still alive)
-Whipped out "lil Cheez", and started walking around my back yard, peeing, howling, and waving both my arms above my head
-Smoked for hte first time
-Tried to light a cigarette I had broken in half while holding the lighter upside down
-Spontaneously broke into song while having a conversation with some people
-Called some of my relatives some very colorful names

And oh yeah, finished the bottle of Jack, with some other alcoholic beverages. I was dead to the world by about 11:30.

Remember how I said I made a tee time for golf the next day? I ended up keeping it, and was still drunk until the 5th hole, which my scorecard clearly reflects. Immediately after golf, I played several hours of paintball in 85 degree heat. Following that, 2 hours of roller hockey. Needless to say, I was a little tuckered out that evening.

I've got more stories if anyone wants to hear. They involve wandering around Flint in a toga, waking up our friends with snowballs at about 2 in the morning, attempting to swim across a lake, and anything else I can think of.

For now, post yours.

> First I'd like to say it's such a pity that you ever recovered from this Govtcheez.

I'm glad you feel that way.

>>>
Pinched a married 40-year-old's ass while her husband was not far away
<<<

No law against that. Wait until you're 45, do that and your wife is not far away - that's danger man, that is danger.

C'mon, ade - you must've had some great times out with the guys. Tell us about 'em!

Hmm...I can't think of any really particularly funny stories, but here's a few assorted summaries:

-One of my friends kicked down a public bathroom door because it was locked and my other friend's girlfriend really had to go.

-Various nights I've leaned out of car windows screaming random profanities at people walking by.

-Fly-tackled my friend in mid-pee because I didn't want him to be an $$$$$$$ and go all over this poor guy's car door handle. No, before you ask, I didn't get peed on.

-I've been told that I was in Walgreens when I just broke out singing as loud as I could to the cashier. Nobody ever told me what song.

-I was at a school football game, there were two cops standing in front of the bathroom, and I really had to go. Two of my friends helped me walk by them so I didn't look like a total stumbling drunk, and they told me that I kept waving and saying hello to the cops, as well as going "BOY DO I SURE HAVE TO PEE!" to one of them.

-Comedy "Let my brother drive because we were both at the same party and I really wanted to go somewhere" option. I'm actually suprised that we both survived that one. The funniest part was this girl came along, drunker than us both combined, to "make sure we didn't do anything stupid" . Boy she sure did a bang up job.

-Running into a really clean sliding glass door.


Nothing as funny as cheez's...I really can't think of anything too funny. It's mostly "you-had-to-be-there" kinda stuff.

Here's the story about the snowballs. That was after the remainder of a bottle of vodka.

Disclaimer: I am not proud of this story.

Anyway. Went to a friends 30th birthday party, and had a competition with another guy to see which of us could drink a pint of gin & tonic first. That was great, but within 30 minutes we were staggering.

I remember puking over myself & going off to sleep in my car. Next morning I woke up in my own bed which means....... Yep, I drove home even though I can't remember it. Luckily it's all cross country.

Moral?

If you're gonna drink, hide your keys. (oh, and wear puke-pruf(tm) trousers).

Does that make you a hero?

>>-Running into a really clean sliding glass door.

I know someone who did that...actually he did a lot of stupid stuff and now he can drive so...

Just to give you an idea, he once did something (can't remember what it was) that made his friends angry so he was like, "Oh man I'm so sorry! I'm gonna jump out the window of my room [2nd floor]" So he jumped out and ran back up and said "That was fun! I'm gonna do it again!" later he was more like "Hey guys, my ankles kind of hurt" and then found out he broke his ankles hehe

I dont drink anymore....but once when I was about 16 I fell in a local lake and found that I was covered in duck/swan/goose poo........the place was a local nesting place for birds, and when the winged beats flew south (or whatever) they leave a lot of nasty stuff begind them....I couldnt get a taxi/bus etc due to the stench....so I walked 4 miles home....I belive I looked like a mix between Swamp Thing & Mr Hankey The Christmas Poo

Another time I was sick & passed out on a bus full of XMas shoppers.....cleared the whole bottom deck that time....actually I'm lying...it happened twice.....

Oh...and anothertime I broke my ankle falling over a table in a bar....that was at Xmas too.....didnt realise until the next morning (dont know how that was even possible, but I must have been pretty bad).......

Not really proud of any of the above......but do giggle to myself about them occasionally.

I was at a wedding once and got a little tipsy drinking some win called Blossum Hill (Pretty sure that was name) because my parents know I drink and don't really care. Well I ended up puking on the wedding cake. Then I got a little more drunk later and ended up making out with a fellow drunk woman at the age of 50ish while the newly weds did their little dance thing. I'm not allowed to weddings to this day.

Originally posted by Zewu
I once overdosed on heroine. Oh boy!

........ off, troll. If you didn't want to hear about people drinking, you probably shouldn't have clicked on this thread.

Fordy, I seem to remember you having a story about drinking cigarettes...

>>Fordy, I seem to remember you having a story about drinking cigarettes...

Had an unpleasant incedent with a can that was used as an ashtray once.....damn I'd forgot that........didnt really want to remember either