After much thought, i've come up with two other options for you. You can remove hair from somewhere else (I recommend your eyebrows) and tape it to your face (I recommend scotch tape)

The other one involved injecting shoe polish into your blood stream, but I doubt that would work.

Another LAME thread. I think this domain has got to the point where a board called "Stupid $$$$ that nobody should read" might actually be appropriate. This General Discussions board has turned into such a piece of ...........
Xei, i've got just the thing for you.