Thread: Computer Quotes

  1. #16
    Linguistic Engineer... doubleanti's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Hehe... good good... tell me about it! I took a linear algebra course this past quarter and man! At a point, you start (ie this point!) you start to realize that you're midterm is just, in and of itself, a piece of paper, and you need to chalk it up so you will, and you do. not to mention a physics midterm too, but i was really ........ed when i found out that math wasn't so simple anymore. stupid math course... so monotonous... ugh! thanks for the curve tho!
    hasafraggin shizigishin oppashigger...

  2. #17
    Registered User hk_mp5kpdw's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Northern Virginia/Washington DC Metropolitan Area
    Some funny ones related to programming languages are here! Love the ones about APL!
    "Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods."
    -Christopher Hitchens

  3. #18
    left crog... back when? incognito's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    If the automobile had followed the same development as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year killing everyone inside.
    Robert Cringely

    They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
    Janet Reno

    Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.
    Clifford Stoll

  4. #19
    Cheesy Poofs! PJYelton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    LOL love 'em all!

    My favorite not listed:

    To undestand recursion, one must first understand recursion.

  5. #20
    ! |-| /-\ +3 1337 Yawgmoth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002

    In a surprise announcment, yesterday, Apple Computer said that it is
    finally doing away with the keyboard. Apple stated that the
    microcomputer user has suffered too long with this awkward and
    inefficient input device. According to an Apple spokesperson, the
    technology for replacing the keyboard with only a mouse is here and
    the computer user is ready for it. The spokesperson said that Apple
    has received a steady stream of complaints over the years about the
    need to constantly move the hands between the Mac keyboard and
    mouse. "The solution was obvious - do away with the keyboard

    Acknowledging that there are still a few Mac applications that depend
    on textual input in addition to graphical manipulation, Apple said the
    poor people stuck with such outdated technology have not been
    forgotten. They are introducing the Spinning Alphabet Wheel (SAW)
    to replace the keyboard. The SAW is a screen display object
    consisting of concentric circular strips showing all of the characters
    which normally appear on the keyboard. The wheel rotates
    continuously under character selector windows. The user selects a
    character by placing the mouse pointer in the appropriate window at
    the same time as the desired character is about the appear. "...and,
    ta-da, the selected character appears on the screen just as though it
    had been typed on an old fashioned keyboard."

    "This is a marvelous new technology with plenty of room for
    growth." said the spokesperson. For example, the user can configure
    separate wheels for vowels vs. the consonants. Or, digits can be
    placed on their own special low speed wheel. "We have
    conceptualized the keyboard as a big, bulky menu selection device
    and replaced it with dynamic display menus instead. Apple will
    eventually replace all menus with their new Rotating Wheel
    Technology (RWT)."

    When asked why the wheels have to rotate, the spokesperson said
    that Apple's engineers had considered using conventional "point-and-
    click" technology for the wheel. "However," the Apple spokesperson
    said, "we feel that this type of operation is too complicated for the
    typical Mac user. So, we have done away with the mouse button
    too. It is still hard for us to believe that the IBM world has stepped
    backwards in technology by providing two or more buttons to
    confuse the user. The IBM compatible sector, apparently, has not
    yet recognized that 95% of computer usage is devoted to
    experimenting with different fonts and character styles in documents"

    Asked if this new technology would reduce the price of the typical
    Mac computer, the spokesperson countered that it would probably
    increase the price of the Mac. "After all, display space is already
    scarce on the current screen. We will now deliver Macs with two
    screens - one for the normal display and a larger one for the multitude
    of rotating wheels the user needs to access." Apple said that the user
    who is confused by complicated devices such as keyboards and
    mouse buttons will gladly pay a premium to avoid them. "In fact, the
    easily-confused user is our best customer" replied the spokesperson.
    "Not only are we doing away with the pesky keyboard, but we are
    also giving them something they have demanded for a long time -
    more screen space. This is definitely a win-win situation."

    Beta testers of the new technology were impressed by its ease of use,
    but said there are still some minor problems to work out. For
    example, one tester left his machine unattended with the uppercase
    character wheel spinning at medium speed. While he was away
    somebody must have jarred his desk, moving the mouse pointer into
    the selector window. When he got back he found that his Word
    document now had one huge paragraph consisting of all of the
    characters of the uppercase alphabet repeated 2,539,987 times. "At
    first glance, this appeared to be a big problem. But, I formatted the
    new paragraph with 33 different fonts and 11 different type styles and
    it looked great. I hope that Apple fixes this problem before they
    release it, because these accidents can greatly increase the time spent
    formatting documents."
    L33t sp3@k sux0rz (uZ it t@k3s 10 m1|\|ut3s 2 tr@nzl@te 1 \/\/0rd & th3n j00 h@\/3 2 g3t p@$t d@ m1zpelli|\|gz, @tr0(i0u$ gr@mm@r @|\|d 1n(0/\/\pr3#3|\|$1bl3 $l@|\|g. 1t p\/\/33nz j00!!

    Speling is my faverit sujekt

    I am a signature virus. Add me to your signature so that I may multiply.

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