Thread: Revenge of the Face_Master!

not for the faint of heart

God (or any other supernatural entity which has the equivilant) save us all...

Updated with sound. It's a cacky whiney midi version of Nirvana's classic "Smells Like Teen Spirit". If anyone can find a more fitting song, then post here.

hehehe.

>>Imagine if, instead of incomprehensible geeky text strings, your
>>computer produced error messages in Haiku . . .
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>First snow, then silence.
>>This thousand dollar screen dies
>>so beautifully.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>With searching comes loss
>>and the presence of absence:
>>"My Novel" not found.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>A file that big?
>>It might be very useful.
>>But now it is gone.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>The Web site you seek
>>cannot be located.
>>But endless others exist.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>Chaos reigns within.
>>Reflect, repent, and reboot.
>>Order shall return.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>Aborted effort.
>>Close all that you have.
>>You ask far too much.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>The Tao that is seen
>>Is not the true Tao, until
>>You bring fresh toner.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>Windows NT crashed.
>>I am the Blue Screen of Death.
>>No one hears your screams.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>Stay the patient course.
>>Of little worth is your ire:
>>The network is down.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>A crash reduces
>>your expensive computer
>>to a simple stone.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>Yesterday it worked.
>>Today it is not working.
>>Windows is like that.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>Three things are certain:
>>Death, taxes, and lost data.
>>Guess which has occurred.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>You step in the stream,
>>but the water has moved on.
>>This page is not here.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>Out of memory.
>>We wish to hold the whole sky,
>>But we never will.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>Having been erased,
>>The document you're seeking
>>Must now be retyped.
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>Rather than a beep
>>Or a rude error message,
>>These words: "File not found."
>>
>>* * * * *
>>
>>Serious error.
>>All shortcuts have disappeared.
>>Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
>>
>>* * * * *

or...

Code:

   Subject:  JM: HUMANDNA.H

[Author unknown.]

For many years molecular biologists have been mystified by the fact
that very little of an organism's DNA seems to serve any useful
function.

I have solved the mystery.

The reason why only 30% of human DNA performs any useful function is that
the rest of it is comments.

Once we decode a typical human genome, we see that the contents begin as
follows:

=================

/* HUMAN_DNA.H
 *
 * Human Genome
 * Version 2.1
 *
 * (C) God
 */

/* Revision history:
 *
 * 0000-00-01 00:00  1.0  Adam.
 * 0000-00-02 10:00  1.1  Eve.
 * 0000-00-03 02:11  1.2  Added penis code to male version. A bit messy --
 *                        will require a rewrite later on to make it 
 *                        neater.
 * 0017-03-12 03:14  1.3  Added extra sex drive to male.h; took code from
 *                        elephant-dna.c
 * 0145-10-03 16:33  1.4  Removed tail.
 * 1115-00-31 17:20  1.5  Shortened forearms, expanded brain case.
 * 2091-08-20 13:56  1.6  Opposable thumbs added to hand() routine.
 * 2501-04-09 14:04  1.7  Minor cosmetic improvements -- skin colour made
 *                        darker to match my own image.
 * 2909-07-12 02:21  1.8  Dentition inadequate; added extra 'wisdom' 
 *                        teeth.
 *                        Must remember to make mouth bigger to
 *                        compensate.
 * 4501-12-31 14:18  1.9  Increase average height.
 * 5533-02-12 17:09  2.0  Added gay option, triggered by high population
 *                        density, to try and slow the overpopulation
 *                        problem.
 * 6004-11-04 16:11  2.1  Made forefinger narrower to fit hole in centre
 *                        of CD.
 */

/* Standard definitions
 */

#define SEX male
#define HEIGHT 1.84
#define MASS 68
#define RACE caucasian

/* Include inherited traits from parent DNA files.
 *
 * Files must be pre-processed with MENDEL program to provide proper
 * inheritance features.
 */

#include "mother.h"
#include "father.h"

#ifndef FATHER
#warn("Father unknown -- guessing\n")
#include "bastard.h"
#endif

/* Set up sex-specific functions and variables
 */
#include <sex.h>

/* Kludged code -- I'll re-design this lot and re-write it as a proper
 * library sometime soon.
 */
struct genitals
   {
#ifdef MALE
   Penis *jt;
#endif
   /* G_spot *g;   Removed for debugging purposes */
#ifdef FEMALE
   Vagina *p;
#endif
   }

/* Initialization bootstrap routine -- called before DNA duplication.
 * Allocates buffers and sets up protein file pointers
 */
DNA *zygote_initialize(Sperm *, Ovum *);

/* MAIN INITIALIZATION CODE
 *
 * Returns structures containing pre-processed phenotypes for the organism
 * to display at birth.
 *
 * Will be improved later to make output less ugly.
 */
Characteristic *lookup_phenotype(Identifier *i);

===

....and so on.

[ Note that God uses three-space tabs ]



this is silly as everybody knows comments are not included in the compiled output.

a friend sent me a link
i think its:
http://missy.reimer.com/library/

Hehe, I have that as my desktop now. I have dual monitors, and rarely use the second one, so it's an entire monitor of bobbing heads