SacredBerylRose: how you doing?
SacredBerylRose: : (
LiquidCyanide17: : /
SacredBerylRose: I got your IM last night, but you were already signed off
SacredBerylRose: don't be
SacredBerylRose: so she's just up and leaving with him?
LiquidCyanide17: yea well
SacredBerylRose: : / isn't she a senior?
SacredBerylRose: is she finishing school first?
LiquidCyanide17: no shes going to get in down there
SacredBerylRose: oh my....why in the world would she do that? sorrie...that just sounds crazy to me
LiquidCyanide17: she loves him
SacredBerylRose: love or not...I mean, it's her senior year...and seriously...if he loved her, he wouldn't do that to her...I dunno, maybe that's just me
LiquidCyanide17: : /
SacredBerylRose: did you say anything to her?
SacredBerylRose: what'd you tell her?
LiquidCyanide17: that she should do what is going to make her happy. She said that was to be with david, so i told her she should go.
SacredBerylRose: : /
LiquidCyanide17: i want her to be happy, if that means going to SC, then shes got to go
SacredBerylRose: I guess when you really love somebody...ultimately you just want them to be happy
SacredBerylRose: are you going to be ok?
LiquidCyanide17: its going to be a very long time before i am even close to thinking about being ok
SacredBerylRose: : (
SacredBerylRose: she said she's definitely going, no doubt?
LiquidCyanide17: no she said she didn't know, but i know cuz i looked in her eyes. She misses him so much, all she wants is to be with him, and shes going to be
LiquidCyanide17: i know shes gone
SacredBerylRose: : ( I'm sorrie
LiquidCyanide17: don't be
SacredBerylRose: are you still going to try to talk to her somehow?
LiquidCyanide17: im trying to talk to her like shes not leaving ya know.....i literally cried last night. i'm not the type of person to cry
LiquidCyanide17: at all
SacredBerylRose: I kinda would think you would...I know I would've if I was in your shoes...do you think if you two still tried to stay in contact, would that be something you'd want or what?
LiquidCyanide17: i have no idea. I think the rational side of me says break it off, because im just going to cry my ass off, my heart says i can't live without her.....but my heart also says im living without her if i'm not with her
LiquidCyanide17: i'm so ****ed up right now
SacredBerylRose: it's hard to say anything because when you really love somebody like that, even though you know you should let go, you can't...you need to decide though even if she does go, do you still want to have her in your life somehow or no...and can you deal with it or not
LiquidCyanide17: i don't know if i can deal either way. I feel like i'm stuck on a stone pillar, one side has hell and the other has hell. Either way i fall and either way i'm ****ed.
SacredBerylRose: I know it won't be easy...no matter what way you look at the situation, but you could still keep in contact with her if you really wanted to...but if that's only going to hurt you more, then I wouldn't advise it...but I'd hate to see you lose someone out of your life completely who means so much to you
LiquidCyanide17: she is my life, without her i see no honest reason to wake up. sad as that is i don't see any reason to do jack **** if shes not here to share it with me ya know. anytime i see my future i have always pictured her in it, and to see that as an impossibility is KILLING me. I do plan to give her my cell # and stuff, but i don't know how i will handle it if she uses it ya know. I don't want to cling to some "maybe in the future" dream cuz then BLAM here i am again.
SacredBerylRose: well then I think you know what you have to do...nobody can tell you what to do 'cept for you...do you want to be happy? and if you do, can you be happy holding on to someone who is only a possibility for the future? everything is a possibility, but with her down there and you up here...you just have to decide what is going to make YOU happy...you have to look out for yourself right now
SacredBerylRose: I know you say that she will make you happy, but you need to look beyond that
SacredBerylRose: you have to make yourself happy first before anyone can make you happy
LiquidCyanide17: i know i do. I may not be up here much longer, i was staying here till graduation because she didn't want me to leave yet, but if shes not here i have no reason to stay. She was my reason not to move to FL, now shes gone what reason do i have...
SacredBerylRose: then exactly...you need to build your own life and do your own thing...don't build it around someone else...I know this sound cliche, but if you two are meant to be together, then one day you will...but for now, you have to do what you need to do to make YOU happy, nobody else
LiquidCyanide17: make it sound a little easier :P
SacredBerylRose: plain and simple...make yourself happy
LiquidCyanide17: i don't see how i CAN be happy without her.....i am so pathetic
SacredBerylRose: you're not pathetic...trust me...you just love her very much...but don't let that stop you from being happy...you don't have to have her to make you happy...she doesn't make who you are...nobody does...you just have to want to be happy bad enough that you do what it takes to make yourself happy
LiquidCyanide17: needed soda lol
SacredBerylRose: lol...okie doke
LiquidCyanide17: i feel so.....how to say it....BLEH
LiquidCyanide17: i feel BLEH
SacredBerylRose: isn't she doing what she feels is going to make her happy? so don't you think you need to do the same?
LiquidCyanide17: shes only doing what she needs to be happy because i told her too
SacredBerylRose: so here I am telling you to do what you need to do to be happy...practice what you preach mister
LiquidCyanide17: nice comeback.
LiquidCyanide17: time heals all wounds, heh we'll see