The Davidian Laws of Girls
About 4 years ago, I was extremely bored in Algebra class. Well, as you all know what happens when you get bored, I started wandering off into la-la land.
Only this time hanging around in la-la land brought me one of the most amazing discoveries in human history.
I call the things which I discovered that day, the Davidian Laws of Girls.
Now dont take me wrong, these are not simple "do this" and "dont do this". These are mathematical equations that are guaranteed to tell you whether a girl is good looking or not (excluding facial features). Notice I did not mention anything about personality. The Davidian Laws only apply to external features, as internal features are much more your own opinion and cannot be figured out mathematically.
So anyways, with no further adieu, I give you the Davidian Laws of Girls:
Equation #1:
H = 2s + h - w
In this equation, "H" is the total hotness of the girl. "s" is the "slope" of the girl, "h" is her height (measured in feet), and "w" is her width (measured in feet).
Equation #2:
H = s1 + s2 + h - w
In this equation, there are two different "slope" variables, rather than just one. "s1" is the upper slope, and "s2" is the lower slope. Both equations work just the same.
In equation 1, "s" is the overall slope, while in equation 2, the upper slope and lower slope are seperated into 2 variables.
Now, there is something you must know before you go off and start doing your calculations.
Here is how you find slope:
0 = flat
1 = small
2 = pretty good
3 = oh my gosh thats perfect
2 = a bit too big
1 = too big
0 = oh my gosh thats enormous
Notice the scale is from 0 to 3, and then from 3 to 0 going back down again.
Now that you have the scale for determining slope, lets do a couple test examples. I will use equation 1 for all examples:
Girl A:
height = 5 ft. 6 in.
width = 1 ft.
slope = 2.5
H = 2 ( 2.5 ) + 5.5 - 1
H = 5 + 5.5 - 1
H = 10.5 - 1
H = 9.5
That girl has a hotness rating of 9.5 on a scale of 1 to 10.
Girl B:
height = 5 ft. 4 in.
width = 2 ft.
slope = 0
H = 2 ( 0 ) + 5.333 - 2
H = 0 + 5.333 - 2
H = 5.333 - 2
H = 3.3
The hotness rating for that girl is 3.3.
Finally:
Girl C:
height = 5 ft. 4 in.
width = 1 ft.
slope = 1.5
H = 2 ( 1.5 ) + 5.333 - 1
H = 3 + 5.333 - 1
H = 8.333 - 1
H = 7.333
So the hotness rating of that girl is a 7.333.
Well, that is the whole synopsis of my Davidian Laws of Girls equations. Now next time you pass a girl, think of my equation, implement it, and find out her rating on a scale of 1 to 10.
Try it, it works.
(The Davidian Laws of Girls are patented by me. So dont try and steal them! *looks around inspecting everybody...looking for people who want to steal David's precious discoveries* My discoveries! Mine!)
