probably, albeit disappointing.
q) am i god?
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probably, albeit disappointing.
q) am i god?
A. You sure are. I am your diciple too.
Q. What is our mission to day sire?
>What is our mission to day sire?
To have sex with 10 women.
Q - What are my chances?
zero... ;)
what are my chances of my girlfriend magically appearing here at work?
>what are my chances of my girlfriend magically appearing here at work?
None, she's busy with me at the moment.
Q - You work on a Saturday?
hmm... and sunday ;) Actually, I work our dispatch center on weekends when they need me... (a crapload this weekend apparently. 10 hours today, 12 tomorrow... hot damn that will be a nice check... not to mention the 6 hours i get next weekend.
how many hours do you work (as in an actual job) in an average week?
>how many hours do you work.
About 40 normally. Monday-Friday, weekends if necessary, but that doesn't happen very often. But then I'm on call a lot too (24x7)
Q - Do you want to become one of the "management", or just stay as a "worker"?
dam beat
A. Worker.
Q. Is it a sexual worker? :D
>Is it a sexual worker?
No, that's Ken's mum.
Q - Name an item that you have stolen, where you took it from and why.
err... umm... is WHAT a sexual worker? and in most cases, no. :(
edit/ damn... beatin again
stolen? I can't say that I've ever actually stolen anything... that's one area of my life that I'm proud of.
do you think you could ever be a full-time pornstar... with the right "equipment" and such already given?
>do you think you could ever be a full-time pornstar
Ahhh... if only I could hold my stomach in long enough... :D
Q - Ever had sex on a sandy beach and got sand.... well, you know where?
no dammit... I was supposed to have sex on the beach this summer, but never got around to it... damn these cops and they're patrolling ways! :mad:
edit >>Ahhh... if only I could hold my stomach in long enough...
had to let you know that made me laugh ;)
ever park in a secluded spot so you could get out and do the nasty on the hood... only to end up staying in the car because a small animal ran by?
No. He joined in and squealed uncontrollably. We all recalled fond memories of the good ol' days while sucking back on a cubin.
Q. Who thinks those "101 sex positions" books should involve aided pics of Ken's mum?
>....only to end up staying in the car because a small animal ran by?
Now THAT made ME laugh ! :D
Answer: err no. All my activities have been in-car entertainment only. But I can see how the small animal thing might just spoil the mood. Don't want a squirrel getting hold of the wrong nuts.
[edit]Dammit.
>Who thinks those "101 sex positions" books should involve aided pics of Ken's mum?
Me! As long as they don't include the ones of me and her last Friday night.
Q - Who mops up after the event, you or her?
depends on where it ends up ;) We usually take both take care of ourselves and what needs mopping ...
top or bottom?
Hammer, look at the times of my post and yours, you were beat. :)
A. Bottom, top, sideways, reversed, it don't matter!
Q. Audience?
>..you were beat.
I know, I edited and answered yours though.
> Audience?
Only the cats.....
Q - Do you hate doing it in a bath full of water?
I think I'd like one once maybe. who knows... she wants to do it publicly... making me think she wouldn't care... never have to this point tho... although... and i must tell you this story...
once my girl and I were going at it, and my roommates were in the living room watching Vanilla Sky, and during one of the sex scenes, there was moaning on the movie, but they heard something in the background, so the turned it down and it turns out my girl was getting a little loud ;) They said "it was like a real life movie". :D
/edit... beaten again.
ehh.. bath water is ok... lubrication and the movement of the water are your problems tho
ever been caught by your parents?
Yes, nothing much happend. :cool:
Q. A list of all the public places you've done it.
Pretty much anywhere you can park a car, including right outside the front of her house. ;)
Q - Ever taken a photo of yourself naked?
no, i wouldn't wanna make anyone jealous if it got out :)
ever get pics of you and your SO doing ... naked things?
>ever get pics of you and your SO doing ... naked things?
No, who would work the camera?! Plenty of naked pics in general though ;)
Q - How do you get her to go lesbian for a weekend, so you can have good old threesome?
A. Tell her it's going to be Ken's mum.
Q. Who will be the last one standing?
>Who will be the last one standing?
Not me, I ain't tee total!
Q - Who will be the first to fall?
Ken's mum, you see, when the human body is filled up with too much liquid :) ..........
Q. If I shot her with a machine gun, do you think it would look like a sperm sprinkler?
A. probably not-more like a MESS
Q. is faceless a bloke from a 1980's game...im sure that gif Is familiar...Oh, or was it mario kart? i mean the real mario kart.ie snes?
Looooooks familiar to me! thats the question...what the f*%^ is it?
A. I have no clue.
Q. Who thinks the private game has the most mentions of ken's mom (another one!!) ever in the history of ken's mom? (2 in the same sentance!!!)
A: I think it has mentioned Ken's mom the most, boy Ken's mom must be really popular, since everyone talks about Ken's mom.
Q: Why do people mention Ken's mom?
Because she's an uber-slut.
Who's with me?
A. I'm not. I am sitting in front of my computer. But I will be if you want me to be!
Q. Where we goin?
A. Well, from what i have read...NOT TO KEN'S MOM'S!!
Q. ARE you sure faceless hasnt ripped off a snes game?
A. Cant be arsed.
Q. why has no bast*** replied to my FUNNIEST jokes thread named 'boring'....read them they r really good.
You cannot answer your own questions.
> Q. why has no bast*** replied to my FUNNIEST jokes thread named 'boring'....read them they r really good.
I checked them out. I liked the one about the mom with 16 or whatever kids (girls AND boys) all named Leroy. ALL with different last names *lmao*.
Q. What time is it?
a) it's hammertime(tm)
q) what is the most disgusting sexual thing you can think of? (don't mention beastiality... you'll upset rick barclay ;))
> a) it's hammertime(tm)
I've thought about saying that to our dear hammer one too many times. :D
> what is the most disgusting sexual thing you can think of?
Having sex with Ken's mom. But, that's sort of beastality as it is. Oh well.
Q. It's after 9pm, do you know where your appendage is?
i know!! it's right here...............what the hell it was here yesterday!!!!! it's stolen give it back damnit! GIVE IT BACK
what the hell???? why can't i sign in?
nevermind
continuing the thread...
q) should we veer off the sex topics here?
No, sex topics are good. yes yes yes
Q I agree. Who else does? :D cmon people, if you don't agree the thread is dead...dude!
I don't agree. Guess this thread is dead then... :D
Q: What 'boring' thread was Fountain talking about?
A. It probably got removed because of the mod's policies against joke threads. This one's much better anyhow. If that's not the case, then I'm talking out of my ass again.
Q. What body parts can you make talk?
dunno... :confused:
If you were to be programmed in a language, what would it be? COBOL, Assembly, or FORTRAN?
A: Uhm.... hmm, I'll say FORTRAN just because I like math
Q: Are digital clocks for stupid people?
(w00t! 200th post!)
A: ...and the lazy people
Q: will you miss me all next week while i'm at camp?
Maybe.
Hehe, did you guys miss me last week?
Krispy Kreme donuts and hot coffee. Mmmmm
Favorite pie flavor?
apple (havent tasted any other)
who did you really think would have won the Soccer World Cup?
You mean Football, right? No such thing as soccer...
I really thought that Brazil would win it, and it turns out I was really right...
Why the hell is it called American 'football', they use their hands...
q. Why the hell is it called American 'football', they use their hands...
a. American's find it appropriate to give everything silly names. j/k
q. What's your cell-phone number?
Living where I do, I don't have a 'cell-phone', I do, on the other hand, have a mobile phone, but you didn't ask about that... :D
Ever stumbled in on your parents being 'over-friendly'?
q. Ever stumbled in on your parents being 'over-friendly'?
a. no, fortunately
q. have u ever stumbled in on anyone being 'over-friendly'?
No, but I carry a video camera around with me just in case...
Ever killed anything?
q. Ever killed anything?
a. an ant once *sniff, sniff* so sad
q. have u ever commited a crime?
A: As a child I stole a little Easter Egg from the store, thats about it.
Q: Have you purchased the Lord of the Rings yet?
Q: Have you purchased the Lord of the Rings yet?
a. no, i've got the book on pc
q. have u read "The Hobbit"
Yes, Yes I have... when I was young(er)...
Isn't the Lord of the Rings movie over-rated? And why did it have to go on for so long? Why did it have to waste valuable hours of my life?
How many questions do you want to ask?!! :D
- Over-rated: I haven't seen it yet, but I doubt it's overrated
- Length: Because there's a lot to the story
- Waste: you didn't have to watch it, now did you!
Q - Ever walked out of a cinema during the middle of a film because it's been that bad a movie?
I did, I was dragged there by her that rules all...
And no, I find the sticky floors entertaining enough to keep me there for a while, that and I'm scared I'll miss some nudity....
Why are cinema floors so sticky?
Why are cinema floors so sticky?
Some people mistake them for being toilets.
q. how many times a week do you visit the toilet?
I'm never visiting a cinema near where YOU live.....
Q. how many times a week do you visit the toilet?
A. These questions just don't get any better, do they? It really does depend on what I've been eating and if it's a social visit to the toilet or a buisness visit....
Q. Do you want to give me all of your money or are you an idiot?
well let's see... i guess that makes me an idiot.
Do you have any permanent scars, and are any of them from sex?
I have 3 permanent scars, all from different accidents, none from sex...
How would I get permanently scarred during sex?
slip... too much carpet burn... ram too hard and knock yourself into something.... it happens, trust me.
ever at least bruise yourself in the act?
>ever at least bruise yourself in the act?
Sure... and those carpet burns are a *****!
Q - Ever used fruit or veg as a sex aid?
chocolate syrup is a fruit, right? ;) (otherwise, no)
what's the kinkiest thing you've ever done?
yogurt. nuff said ;)
Q - Are you sure you don't know how to get a woman to try lesbian for a night?
A - yes i'm sure i don't know how. i've never been nor probably ever will be laid. nuff said about my persuasiveness in the female dept.Quote:
Originally posted by Hammer
yogurt. nuff said ;)
Q - Are you sure you don't know how to get a woman to try lesbian for a night?
Q - Why am i all covered in grease right now?
you've been going at again??Quote:
Originally posted by moi
A - yes i'm sure i don't know how. i've never been nor probably ever will be laid. nuff said about my persuasiveness in the female dept.
Q - Why am i all covered in grease right now?
i didn't know he stopped...
ever use anything special to get the job done yourself? anything that your SO gave you? ;)
A. Like a vending machine, I can pull all sorts of levers, and push all sorts of buttons on her, and she starts spitting out prizes. All of them are useful.
Q. Do you agree that it's a good idea to bring mosquito spray along with when having sex outside?
a) depends...
q) what parts of your body will she start licking?
> q) what parts of your body will she start licking?
The one that has the tootsie pop tatoo on it.
Q. How many licks will it take?
umm. how any lick ehh?? 30 hehe
What color nipples does your girl friend have
seeing as how there aren't many answers to this... i'll just skip it..
what's your feelings about tattoos.......... down there?
A: Only an idiot would inject ink into their skin..... down there
Q: Txet siht daer uoy nac?
Yes :D
At first I thought the 2nd word was sh!t
Is Pepsi Blue any good?
A: I don't know
Q: What the heck is Pepsi Blue?
Here's how pepsi describes it:
Pepsi Blue is a whole new beverage experience - a fusion of berry and cola that looks and tastes unlike anything else on the market.
Fine, how about Vanilla Coke?
A: eh... vanilla coke isn't that great; coke sucks in general, pepsi is da-uber 1337 h4x0r d|51/\/K
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