I am at One with the universe.

My Computer is my Savior.

I want to marry my computer.

My computer is just great, thanks for asking.

I get ticked off every now and again.

I get upset sometimes, but it's probably something I did to it.

I buy computer equipment only for its esoteric value, so I'm not too bothered...

It bothers me sometimes, but it's tolerable.

Sometimes I leave a heavy towel on my monitor's vent ports and leave it on at the office over the weekend.

It I didn't pay so much for it I would drive a screwdriver through its Central Processing Unit.

I've dropped it out a ten-story building. Twice.

I've "incorporated" new pieces of my computer onto my asphalt (or concrete, if you live down south).

I feel like that guy on Office Space when he punches that copier.

I Cast Thee Down To HELL!!!

I installed Windows 98.