Thread: Stupid people should wear SIGNS

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid". That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you?

You wouldn't ask them anything.
It would be like, "Excuse me... oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."

It's like when me and my roomates moved out of our last apartment. The front door was open, the living room full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in the parking lot. My neighbor comes over and says "Hey, you moving?"

"Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?"

"Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you."

"Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?"
I couldn't resist.

I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!"

See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning..ok..no problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked "So..is your truck stuck?"
I couldn't help myself!

I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said "No, I'm delivering a bridge...here's your sign."

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said "Are you still here?"

I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."

Anybody you know need a sign today?

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
"Here's your sign"

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there, she went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.

Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car.

He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.
"Here's your sign"

And, yes, Linda is a blonde.

We had a guy a while back hold up a bank with a gun. He had a mask over his head, but also ws wearing the photo ID badge of his cleaning firm which gave in addition his name and a contact number in case he faled to please.

Stupid criminals are great. I remember seeing on TV about a guy who burgled a house, unfortunatley for him it was snowing and all the cops had to do was follow his footmarks to his house.
Oh man, how do these people get through life, give him a sign.

LOL, Those are some hilarious stories. I cant think of any people that I have come across that need one of those signs, but they are you shouldnt leave home without them.

After reading that post by C_Coder and the footprints story, I remember one, where a robber broke a window and was bleeding, and they followed the trail of blood to where he was hididng.

Another one... A bunch of guys decide to try and steal an ATM machine with a truck. They rap chains around it and they end up pulling of their bumper, which has their licsense plate on it.

One guy wrote a really badly spelled robbery note on the back of a Wells Fargo deposit slip and took it into a National City and gave it to the teller. When the teller saw the spelling, she figured the guy wasn't real bright, and she said they couldn't accept it because the note was written ona Wells Fargo slip. The guy went across the street to the Wells Fargo, where the cops (called by the teller immediately, of course) were waiting.

dunno if this is true but...
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
Here's your sign

I just remembered this encounter with an idiot.
When I left school I used to work in a hardware shop and I sold a hot water cylinder to some guy. A couple of days later he came back to complain about the cylinder, when we asked what was wrong with it he said" nothing, but it took me all day to remove the foam packing"

I need about 50 of those signs...do they come at a discounted price per volume?

I work at an automation shop, I do electrical work, and recently the boss has asked me to code some utilities (airconditioned offices rule!) Anyhow, this was a couple of weeks back, some guy who does work for us on the bridegeports (stick metal slab in, it drills holes, pretty straightforward) he's always bs'ing on how he makes more money on the internet than he does here. So one day I decided that the opportunity was too great. My dad and his buddy were talking to him about getting the computer on his bridgeport fixed. He actually deserves three signs for this one.
First: His computer had overheated, his cpu temp was up around 250 F, and his hard drive seized up under the heat as well. We checked it out and told him he'd need a new computer (wasn't worth replacing the old parts). So, just to prove his computer genius, thirty minutes later he came back and said "I'm thinking the problem was that I got some metal chips on the circuitry there, and that's what was messing everything up. I just opened the cover, took the air hose too it, blew everything out and sure enough it started right back up." We just stared for a minute and my friend just said "Oh ok, guess it's fixed then...you can go back to work now." We couldn't help but laugh as we walked away to find his computer with a frozen black screen.
Second: Me, Dad, and his coworker John were talking about the new computer John just built for himself (dad talking him into it, showing him that you really do get ripped of retail) anyhow, this guy comes up again and starts listening in, here and there he'd let out a couple of "Oh yeah, I got one of those too". So John asks him "So how much RAM do you have on your computer". Buying himself time he asked "What do you mean how much?"...John says, "How big is your RAM?" He replies: "Oh, i've got about 30 gig." John says "Really? I've only got 512 megs" The other guy replies: "Well sounds like you got seriously ripped off anyway, I just bought mine at a computer show" John: "How bigs your hard drive?" He replies: "I think it's something like 256 gig" (at this point we're just barely keeping the laughter in because this idiot is making a complete bone of himself).
Third: So now it's my turn to get him, my Dad asked John how fast his processor was, not thinking he'd be setting up the other guy again. After he told us i cut in and asked the other guy "So, what do you think of those new AMD athlon chips?" .....Now this is golden....he replies: "Oh they cost some more than those new pentiums but i think they're worth it."......
Current Price of the newest P4 chip: $1051.79 to $1217.00 (bizrate.com)
Current Price of the Athlon XP:$175.00 to $231.99 (also bizrate)

so, like i was saying, can i get a discount on those signs?