Thread: When swearing is appropriate

I rather disagree, it seems as if some of the womens rights fights out there are just drudging us down to a low level like our ancestors were at.


I could list some topics, but that might get into another argument and I don't have enough strength for that, or the time.

I would like to point out, though, that if women didn't dress so provocably or act in certain ways there wouldn't be as much disrespect towards them. Men have a hard enough time dealing with lust without girls waltzing by in a tiny T-shirt. It hurts them and it hurts us.

When certain things are worn it's like saying "Hey! Look at me!" Then women and girls are surprised when they get bugged and disrespected.

It seems some people have forgotten this is a joke thread, and not a gender war thread. I'll try to get us back on track with a joke from another co-worker. I have no idea how true this story is, but it is still humorous:

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This is a portion of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald, who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute but you're not one, are you?

The radio went silent and the interview ended.

well we got abit de-railed there, but it was a funny post!

cheers

Been away for 3 days, and I've really missed this stuff!!!

Glad to see another joke thread, so here goes.

<sexist joke warning>

Why have women got small feet??

So they can stand closer to the sink!


Why are wedding dresses white??

So they match the rest of the household appliances!


How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer??

Tippex on the screen!



Bye for now.

<another sexist joke warning>

How do you fix a womans watch?
You don't, there's a clock on the oven.

Why are women's feet generally smaller than mens?
It's an evolutionary thing that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Why is PMS named PMS?
Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing. She should have listened the first two times.

And then there are the clean ones. . . . .

A fellow stopped at a rural gas station, filled his tank,
and took a break by his car while drinking a soda. As he
relaxed, he watch a couple of men working along the
roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep
and then move on. The other man came along behind him by
about 25 feet and filled in the hole. The men worked right
past the fellow with the soft drink and went on down the
road. Overcome by curiousity, the fellow headed for the
first man. "Hey there," he said to the men. "Can you tell
me what's going on here with this digging?"
"We work for the county government, " one of the men said.
"But one of you is digging a hole and the other is filling
it up. Isn't that a waste of the county's money?"
"Well," one of the men replied, "normally there's three of
us - me, Rodney, and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in
the tree, and Mike here puts the dirt back."

"Yeah," Mike added. "Just because Rodney's sick, that don't
mean we can't work, does it?"



On a vacation to Australia, a Texas farmer meets an Aussie
farmer and starts talking to him about his farm. The Aussie
takes him to see his big wheat field, but the Texan wasn't
impressed. "We have wheat fields that are twice as large as
this one," he told the Aussie.
The Aussie farmer drives him around the ranch and shows off
his big herd of cattle.
"Oh, our longhorns are at least twice as big as these," the
Texan bragged.
The Aussie farmer is getting frustrated when the Texan
notices a herd of kangaroos hopping across a field. "What
the heck are those?" he asks.

The Aussie turns to him with an astonished look. "Don't you
have any grasshoppers in Texas?"

What's the difference between PMT & BSE?

One is mad cows disease,



and the other is a major disaster for the farming community.



I was in a pub the other day, and a guy was chatting up a cheetah.

He's trying to pull a fast one, I thought to myself.


Why do gypsies have crystal balls?

So they can see what's coming.

(Oops, sorry, how did that slip in).

Originally posted by hermit
stevey:im not talking about your generation. im talking about mine which i assume 20years younger than you . .

im only early 20s! big generation gap . . there . .

human rights?? what human rights where guys still treat girls the same say . . ( unrespectful ) . Human rights are here to fight you men. Not all, must some

about TEN years younger, i'm 33 !! i knew women were crap at mathematics !!
any way theres no gap really, i find women in their early 30's just as unfathomable as women in their early 20's.

ok for balance, anti-men jokes !!!

what do you give a man who has everything ??
a woman to show him how it works.

men are like holidays.
they never seem to be long enough.

men are like choccie bars
sweet, smooth and usually head straight for your thighs.

men are like cement.
after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard!

why don't women blink during foreplay??
cos theres no time

what do you call sex with your husband
Trivial Pursuit

what goes in hard and stiff and comes out soft and wet.
chewing gum
(i thought i'd just slip that one in )

what 3 words ruin a mans ego ??
is it in ??

funny stuff man...
those are really goood.

An ugly bloke walks into his local pub, like a gazelle, with a big grin on his face.

"What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.

"Well I'll tell you," replies the ugly bloke.

"You know I live by the railway, well on my way home last night I
noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the movies. I, of
course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top!"

"Fantastic," exclaimed the barman. "You lucky sod. Was she pretty?"

"I dunno, I never found her head."

>>What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
>>Nothing. She should have listened the first two times.

That's so wrong, but still funny...

>>That's so wrong, but still funny...

So wrong. I laughed... but in a very offended way.


>>human rights?? what human rights where guys still treat girls the same say . . ( unrespectful )

That would be disrepectful. And who says we cant have a thread about sexism? Hell, the 'Middle East' cum 'Evolution' thread is burning up bandwidth pretty fast, why not start another hot topic? I'd be there with bells on. (I suppose I could split this one if anyone wants me to...)

But to keep on the Joke track (cuz you cant go wrong with a joke):

Damn. Found a few good ones during my search for this, but they're a little, umm... too good for this board if you know what i mean. (I still seem to be keeping the 'ish' in cleanish very alive.)

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A woman went into a department store and told the clerk that she
wanted to return a toaster for refund because it didn't work. The
clerk told her that he couldn't give her a refund because she bought
it on special. All of a sudden the woman threw her arms up and
yelled, "Grab my Breasts! Grab my breasts!" The clerk didn't know
what to do, so he called the store manager who asked her if he can
help. She explained that she wanted to return the non working toaster
for refund, and he told her that he would not give her a refund
because she bought the toaster on special. Once again she
yelled, "Grab my breasts! Grab my breasts!" The manager was taken
aback and asked her why she was yelling that particular phrase.

She replied, "Because I like somebody grabbing my breasts when I'm
getting screwed!

oldy but goody -

a young woman married and had 12 kids, shortly after the last kid her hubby died. so she remarried and she had 6 more kids.
unfortunately her hubby died in an accident, so she remarried again and ended up having 4 more kids. some years later her husband died peacefully in his sleep and the woman died a few years later.

standing beside her coffin the vicar praised the womans loving nature, a woman who fulfilled the Lord's commandment to go forth and multiply. at the end of the service he commented
"thank you Lord, for finally bringing them together"

one mourner asked his friend "do you think that he means her 1st, 2nd or 3rd husband ???"

his friend replied "actually, i think he means her legs !!"

>>That's the first post I've read with sexism and cum in the same sentence (nearly)

I was wondering whether i'd get away with that or not. You sick sick people.

Okay then, i'm posting so I guess that means we need another joke.
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One day Jesus was walking by the pearly gates when St. Peter asked
him to watch the gates for a few minutes. Jesus agreed and in a few
minutes he saw an old, old man approach. This man was OLD! He
walked very slowly, had a halting gait, and long white hair and
beard.
When Jesus asked if he could help, the old man advised him in
a shaky voice that he was looking for his son. Jesus wanted to help
but didn't think he could as there were millions of people there.
"I know I can identify him very easily by the holes in his hands
and feet," states the old man.
Jesus does a double take and says, "Father?"
The old man looks at Jesus and says, "Pinnochio?"