Thread: Clean Jokes

This is not dirty damnit

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF BUT AREN'T

10. Nuts...my shaft is bent.

9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.

8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.

7. Look at the size of his putter.

6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.

5. Mind if I join your threesome?

4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.

3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.

2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.

1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first.

Originally posted by C_Coder
*sighs* Once again its the case of the views of the minority being more important than the views of the majority. Its just a symptom of capitailist society.

Someone REALLY needs to check those IP addresses!!

Funny though you have to admit!

Like the old joke says, You're never alone with Schizophrenia!

Someone REALLY needs to check those IP addresses!!

And you are implying what exactly?

*** borderline rude joke ***

two 9 year olds standing in the lavvie having a pee !!
one said to the other "how come your willy doesn't have any skin on it ???"

"becos ive been circumsized " the other boy explained....

"whats that mean???" the first lad asks

"it means they cut the skin off the end"

"ooh, how old were you when that happened ???"

"mummy says i was only 2 days old"

"oh, did it hurt????"

"well, i can't remember, but it sure must have done.........i didn't walk for a year !!!"



now i think thats PG12 myself, but i suppose some twit will complain !!

who was this complainer anyway, identify yourself !! come on, if you think you've a valid point, then lets see who you are !!
(it most certainly WAS NOT c_coder Robby !!!)

that joke is discusting, blatant collierism !!!


whats the difference between a wheelie bin, and your wife ??

you only need to take your wheelie bin out once a week !!!

Originally posted by C_Coder

And you are implying what exactly?

I'm saying that the hedgehog joke was me, and so was the complaint!!!!!

Not funny when you have to explain it!!

it was so cold in the mountains, that Old Jake the prospector woke one morning to find 2 ice cubes in his sleeping bag !!

when he threw them on the fire they went : Phartsst! Phartsst !

hey ive just realised how to tell rude jokes, you just allow people to fill in the blanks, if they understand it, they are old enuff to hear it !!

ie

a guy sat on a bus next to a gorgeous young lady.
he notices shes reading a book called "sex surveys".
intrigued, he asks "is the book any good??"
"yes", she says,"its fascinating, it says that Native Americans have [kiddie edit] but that Polish guys have [kiddie edit], by the way, hi, my names Joanne"

"hi Joanne, its nice to meet you" he replies, "I'm Tonto Palawski"

or......

what does tightrope walking and [kiddie edit] from a granny have in common......

you'd be best advised not to look down !!!

mebe that ones pushing it !!

or even better idea, jokes that if you think are dirty , then it is YOU who had a dirty mind !!

ie

What has 100 balls and screws old ladies ??

Bingo

I'm saying that the hedgehog joke was me, and so was the complaint!!!!!

Not funny when you have to explain it!!

Okay so now I get it, for a minute I thought you were implying I posted the complaints.

Originally posted by Sorensen
>> blatant collierism !!!

What's that?

Heh heh heh!!

Originally posted by Sorensen
>> blatant collierism !!!

What's that?

a collier is a coal miner.
well in the UK, there aren't really any mines apart from coal mines.
in fact there aren't many of them now either.

so 'miners' are called colliers

well in the UK, there aren't really any mines apart from coal mines.

Oh way to go Stevey, now were gonna have the Cornish Tin Miners Association on to us!!

BTW, all quiet on the Swedish front isn't it?

Originally posted by RobR


Oh way to go Stevey, now were gonna have the Cornish Tin Miners Association on to us!!

BTW, all quiet on the Swedish front isn't it?

thank god for small mercies !!!!!! miserable git !!!

i never thought i'd 'report' someone, but he was winding me up !!

can't talk to him/reason with him; he's right you're wrong, he's God you're an insect.....he wants to die and wants everone else to die, he's miserable sad git, wants everyone else to be the same, rejoicing in murder etc....dear oh dear