Just to keep you in the loop:
I dug up countless tutorials from the net. Not one did what I needed. Probably it's mentioned nowhere how to do it. So I scanned the MFC sourcecode for a solution and after 2 hours of searching, I turned up this:
If you overwrite the function that checks if there is a commandhandler and never disable any button, it works.
class CSAZToolBar : public CToolBar
virtual void OnUpdateCmdUI(CFrameWnd* pTarget, BOOL bDisableIfNoHandler)
CToolBar::OnUpdateCmdUI( pTarget, FALSE );
I'm still quite annoyed, this is something not that uncommon... and it's not even documented, because OnUpdateCmdUI is a method of CControlBar, CToolbars baseclass... *grrrrr*