If Bush visited Berlin...
I wrote this for my contemporary civ. class for an assignment. It's purely fictional and it's based on the hypothetical situation of Bush visiting the site of where the berlin wall was on the 15th aniversary of it's destruction. Hope you like it, lol.
Bush Addresses Berlin
It brings me great joy to visit here on such an auspicious occasion. It has been exactly 15 years since that wall, a symbol of oppression as well as endurance, toppled over uniting once again the two halves of this great country.
Now, with that said, I ask for your help. We supported you during your struggle with the fascist regime of communist influences, now I ask you for your support in our siege…er…“forceful inspection” of ‘EYE-RACK’. Many of your fellow ‘YOU’RE-A-PEEIN’ countries have labeled me a tired out oil tycoon finishing what my daddy started a few years back, but that just isn’t true. I would take that country over no matter who was running it…I mean…no matter what tyrant was running it. You all know about what it’s like to live under or under the pressure of a tyrant, so y’all can see what I’m up against. Plus I figure you Germans seem to have a knack for wiping out groups of people…in a good way that is.
What it all boils down to is that I need support from members of the UN council. I’m sure you can all see why this whole ‘EYE-RACK’ issue has to be dealt with. But don’t stop there, with the benevolence that our country has treated yours with even after that whole World War thing, I’m sure you could find the kindness in your hearts to support our troops in their efforts in the middle east…or as I like to call it, the Axis of Evil. Don’t you just love the sound of that? Axis of Evil…rolls right off your tongue, EEEEEvil…I’m sorry, I was, um, distracted by my Vice President drinking water and couldn’t concentrate hard enough to listen…err…speak to you my own words…heh, heh, heh. Anyhow, back to business. In addition to ground support, I’ll also need space to land my planes, park my tanks, and store Sadamm’s Weapons of Mass Destruction when I find them.
That all being said and done, I’d like to leave you now with a few words which I have prepared on my own as I was flying in here today. [Cheney does spit-take, nearly has another coronary]
A man by the name of John F. Kennedy once said, “Ich bin ein Berliner.” I also consider myself a friend to you all, and therefore I say “Ich bin ein Pflaumedänische!” [I am a prune Danish]. Thank you all and good day!
