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Don't close my threads, OK?
Please, it's not illegal to talk about suicide! I said that I'm not suicidial, I'm just wrting about a thing.
*sigh*
Alright, send advice to my PM instead. And only safe, peaceful, and easy ways to commit suicide, nothing else!
I didn't close it because you were discussing illegal things. I closed it because sooner or later, it was likely to be reported, and then I would get e-mail. REfer to my earlier posts on my feelings about e-mail.
Pathetic. You shouldn't let your personal feelings affect your moderation. Please be objective, otherwise you should be replaced. Don't you have any rules or something to follow?
As we all know: Emotions are error-prone, they're worthless - they can not make decisions.
>And only safe, peaceful, and easy ways to commit suicide, nothing else!<
I like the method described by Gary Jennings in his novel,
Marco Polo.
In ancient India, when a person committed a capital crime such
as calling the mahaha raja an ape hole, the local authorities
would bring out the suicide machine, and the convicted felon
would have the honor of executing himself. Part of the machine
was placed over the operator's head, and another part attached
to the feet. On the count of three, the executor was required
to stretch length-wise as far as he could, the resulting interaction
between the head and foot pieces working together to slice off
his head. :) .
I think you would agree, this is a very peaceful and humane way
for one to end his life. Good luck.
rick barclay
That wasn't funny. People here are just a bunch of 5 years old.
You don't get it, do you? We generally try to keep this a psuedo-happy type place - asking for instructions on the best way to kill yourself kinda goes against that. I didn't close it because I don't like e-mail - I closed it because it would have been reported sooner or later, and I thought I'd stop the problem before it started.
Sure, someone might have reported it. But what if nobody had?
Don't make your own assumptions about people.
Have you ever had an original thought? From there it would be quite easy to create an original argument... rehashing the criticisms against you and blending them with cliche's won't get you anywhere.Quote:
Originally posted by Series X4 1.0
That wasn't funny. People here are just a bunch of 5 years old.
Being a closed-minded robot like you won't get you anywhere either, the truth is, we are not here to "get anywhere", we are here to die. Of course, that's something you will never see. You'll be blind for your entire life.
Closing is a very mild form of moderating, people interested can
still PM or EMail you. Closing is a form of preemtive action when
we feel the discussion that results from answers will lead to
inapropriate posts.
If a User of this boards finds a post offensive s/he reports it to
a moderator who takes action. Govtcheez is a user of this board,
too and has the same rights that normal users have.
Your best bets on finding what you want is probably a google
search, as noone here has successfully tried any method.
There are countless sites that feature what you need.
>There are countless sites that feature what you need.
Eh, how depressing.
Ok here is a plan for you. It is 99.99 % sure to work.
1. Get a knife, one used to flay things is a good one.
2. Sharpen it.
3. Cut your own neck and make sure to cut the artries.
4. Shock should set in quickly so you won't feel much.
5. Stop posting these types of topics on a programming board.
He said that he didn't closed it because he personally thought it was wrong. He closed it because he believed other people might think of it as inappropriate. He's not intelligent enough to judge other humans, nor are you.Quote:
nvoight
If a User of this boards finds a post offensive s/he reports it to
a moderator who takes action. Govtcheez is a user of this board,
too and has the same rights that normal users have.
I did that a lot before posting here, but could not find anything good enough, please give me an address if you have one. I don't care about your opinions, I'm a psychopath, I do not feel sympathy, I'll do anything to get the info I need.Quote:
Your best bets on finding what you want is probably a google search, as noone here has successfully tried any method.
There are countless sites that feature what you need.
More suggestions, please.
Thantos, that method is not safe enough. I want something better.
That could fail - which could lead to brain damages due to lack of oxygen in the brain. The person also has the time to regret what he did, which is not allowed when he's dying. Most people that cut themselves survive, it's not safe.Quote:
Cut your own neck and make sure to cut the artries.
If you need free medical or psychiatric help, I would have thought the first and most obvious place to start would be your own doctor?
I´m sure that if #4 is successful, you can´t get to #5 :) :) :)Quote:
Originally posted by Thantos
Ok here is a plan for you. It is 99.99 % sure to work.
1. Get a knife, one used to flay things is a good one.
2. Sharpen it.
3. Cut your own neck and make sure to cut the artries.
4. Shock should set in quickly so you won't feel much.
5. Stop posting these types of topics on a programming board.
Oskilian
>He's not intelligent enough to judge other humans, nor are you.
But you are intelligent enough to judge us ? lol
>I don't care about your opinions
Then don't ask for it.
Well step 5 is a direct result of step 4. And yes it will work. The blood lose due to cutting both artires will kill you. The reason that most people live from cutting themselves is because they do it at the wrist which of small veins and artires. The two main ones on your neck are a whole lot bigger. Why do you think that pinching them off is the fastest way to knock a person out.
We are not here to die, we are here to replicate... being this repulsive to other humans, especially females, is not efficient... get over it...Quote:
Originally posted by Series X4 1.0
we are not here to "get anywhere", we are here to die. Of course, that's something you will never see. You'll be blind for your entire life.
He's not judging anybody... he's anticipating the response from other people based on his personal experience... maybe if you learnt to relate to people you also could develop this "psychic" ability...Quote:
He's not intelligent enough to judge other humans, nor are you.
James, I really am one sad person, most people on the board really want me to go away. Actually because I have no life, and I am your "direct superior" i like to post on message boards about something which i am incapable of doing. I used to be script kiddie, but i got hacked by some real hackers one day so I decided to mess with other computer people and pretend like I knew what they were talking about.. but notice i've never actually posted a programming-related post.. when will the fools catch on? And i just realized, if i am such an advanced mind why am i a mere version 1.0? And what happened to series x0-x3? Boy, for such an "efficient" individual i do seem to waste a lot of time writing a complete idiot like you an email. Well i have to go download the latest ftp client so i can get some more WAREZ and newest version of SUB7.
Ronald (aka Series X0 1.3)
join the "i am a waste of machine cycles" club, i'm not only a member, but also the president..
Saddam needs hair. donate some.
Alright, here is what you do. Go to the WTC, or what is left of it, and yell out "GO OSAMA", while you are burning an American flag.
Don't try it though for real though...I don't want to be responsible for anything that I see on the news...
>>> Ronald (aka Series X0 1.3)
Although that is not, in fact, his current nickname...
Yes, I am. I understand the core of mankind, the evolution, and the purpose better than other humans. Respect your superior.Quote:
nvoigt
But you are intelligent enough to judge us ? lol
It's not fast enough, it hurts, and it's too messy, it could also fail - as I told you before. As your superior I know a much better way to do it: A train.Quote:
Thantos
The blood lose due to cutting both artires will kill you.
I could write a long detailed response to destroy your beliefs, but it could kill people. I'm not the only one, and I'm not the first one to open my eyes.Quote:
Natase
We are not here to die, we are here to replicate... being this repulsive to other humans, especially females, is not efficient... get over it...
As your superior I understand all of you pretty good, and there is not much to see. I know how you work, therefore I also see your mistakes - over and over again.Quote:
maybe if you learnt to relate to people you also could develop this "psychic" ability...
My superior???!!!!!
That is laughable at best. Here I'll give you another sure fire way to commit suicide.
Break into a Marine Corps Base and go stand on the rifle range when Marines are shooting. Then start telling them how you are their superior. Death will come quickly for you then.
Hang yourself with blasting cable (Exlosive cable, detonates with shocks I think that's what is called anyway)
An SAS bloke did this years ago.
The don't know what killed him, snapping his neck, or blowing his head off...
>>The don't know what killed him, snapping his neck, or blowing his head off...
bleugh.....not a good way to go.....
Series X4 1.0
If you're serious about suicide then the help you need is not on this board......
Also, I'll go one step higher- If you think mentioning suicide makes you seem interesting, and you also extend your ego by telling everyone you are better than them then you are a sad misguided child. You dont anger me...you amuse me......keep it coming.....it beats seeking amusment eslewhere
http://www.snopes2.com/rumors/bert.htm
Thantos, RobS, and Fordy, all of you: Don't reply anymore to this thread.
Evil Bert and bin Laden are out there, I will not go outside, that's scary. There are people outside, and people are evil. Where can I download a female-psychiatrist for free?
>>> Ronald (aka Series X0 1.3)
>>Although that is not, in fact, his current nickname...
That was a Joke ;)
>>Where can I download a female-psychiatrist for free?
Why female, why not be "efficient" and just get a robot? Actually since you are so incredibly brilliant why not just build one? Hmm...
I'm telling you, dude: my way is best. And you don't have to
go outside to do it :) .
rick (your friend) barclay
p.s. Oh. And by the way. If you are our direct superior, why are you even asking us ? That implies that you are not really superior but
we are, because we have information that you don't. LOL
Oh this is getting funny as hell. I have to agree with Fordy on this topic.
Okay first off Series X4 1.0 suicide is not something you should be talking about lightly. If you want to die, I'll kill you myself for starting such bull**** attention getting threads like this. Secondly, does anyone here see the irony? A thread was deleted because of its subject matter, now this thread has started discussing what was on the old thread.
Why bother killing yourself? Time will certainly do it for you.
Hey, look at it this way: Sooner or later you're going to die anyway. You might as well live first, as there's no guarantee you'd ever get a second shot at living.
Call Dr. Kevorkian. He might be able to help.
rick barclay
OK, "superior", a train can still fail, too. Here's a thought: join NASA and train to become an astronaut. When they shoot you into space (where you belong), merely open the door.
Or, get a lorry with a block of ice in the back and drive to a deserted building in the desert. Hang yourself, and the ice will melt. Or, go fishing and put your arms through a telephone booth :p
rick:
"If you are our direct superior, why are you even asking us ? That implies that you are not really superior but we are, because we have information that you don't."
Good point... I hadn't thought of that... :D
I don't think they've proven yet that laughter has ever actually killed anyone...Quote:
Originally posted by Series X4 1.0
I could write a long detailed response to destroy your beliefs, but it could kill people
In all seriousness though... please feel free to post a huge reply. I have both the time and the ability to crack any theory of yours wide open...
Energy can never be created or destroyed therefore we are never born and never die.
To all of you: I've changed my mind, I won't spread this deadly disease over the world. Time is no longer important, only the result is important. As long as people are trying, things will go forward in this world, no matter at what level they are at, it's the will that is important in the long run.
Okay since you decided not to kill yourself, I can safetly tell you the most painless way to do it. Get a car. Fill it up with gass. Go park somewhere with the car running. Go to sleep.
actually, go in your garage, close all the doors and plug all of the holes in the walls so no air can get out/in and then turn the car on and go to sleep.
guaranteed you'll wake up dead.
Create a fair amount of antimatter with a particle accelerator, hold this volume over your head using magnetic containment, and then release it. Should blast your head apart like nobody's business.
Just don't use TOO much antimatter, because I don't want you blowing up the world. It's where I keep all my stuff.
A bell jar on the head with a really powerful suction pump would be interesting. Did you ever see what one of those things does to a marshmellow?
i've never even heard of a bell jar..
ahh... they are used in science to demonstrate vacuums. They are shaped like a bell and made out of glass. You place it on a rubber matt and attatch a pump to a little fitting on the top of the jar. The pump sucks out the air which creates close to a vacuum.
My teacher showed us how a ticking clock suspended from a string from the top of the bell jar stoppend making sound in a vacuum. The only path for the sound to travel was up the string (mechanical sound) and through the glass of the bell jar.... so it wasn't entirely effective.
But it did get considerably quieter.
Here is a link...
http://www.tiac.net/users/shansen/belljar/index.htm
i enjoy physics myself.. i can't believe i hadn't heard of that at some point......
>>guaranteed you'll wake up dead.
*buzzing into Jeopardy* What is an oxymoron? - correct!
oooo, you are a quick one. Sharp as a knife and twice as dull.
More oxymorons! See? I AM quick.
>ahh... they are used in science to demonstrate vacuums. They are shaped like a bell and made out of glass. You place it on a rubber matt and attatch a pump to a little fitting on the top of the jar. The pump sucks out the air which creates close to a vacuum. <
This is a very rudimentry example of how coffee companies like
Nestle make their freeze dried coffee. Instant coffee is made
from a coffee liquor, which is then either hot air dried (Nescafe)
or freeze dried (Taster's Choice). At our place the boiling liquor
is first sent through an evaporator, which adjusts the solids-to-
moisture ratio to about 50%. Then, this heavy liquor is sent to
a cold room, where it is frozen at approximately minus 50 f.
Frozen solid, the product is then sent to one of three humungous
vacuum chambers where the moisture is actually sucked out of it.
The vacuum is so powerful that if a human being were in this
chamber while it was functioning, (are you listening, series x?),
the physical forces would be powerful enough to disintegrate him
into nothingness. The principal here is a very interesting one, I
think. Matter has three states, right? Solid, liquid, and gas. In
order to change a liquid into a solid, you would first have to
raise the temperature of the liguid high enough so it boils off and
leaves a solid, which as I said, is how Nescafe is made. It's pretty
much cooked. But with Taster's Choice the product is deep frozen
and then high amounts of vacuum actually pull the moisture right out of it. And one of the reasons the freeze dried process works
the way it does is because as you lower the atmospheric pressure, the boiling point of water decreases, as I'm sure all
you scholars here know. So, what have here is twofold: first,
whoever (the Swiss, actually) developed the freeze dried process
to make coffee did so using some very complicated physical
principles, and two (and more relevent to at least one of our members here), if one were able to sneak into one of these vacuum chambers, he would be guaranteed a swift and sure and
painless death, where at the end of the freeze drying cycle there
would be nothing left of that person to bury, or cremate, or even
take a DNA test on. The only ones who might suspect something
would be the sleepy-eyed coffee drinker who may or may not
notice a difference in the taste of his morning cup of Taster's
Choice.
rick barclay
very interesting...
so many facts that no one ever needs to know. did you do research on this for some obscure reason?
This should work:
1) Go to Washington DC
2) Kit yourself out like a muslim with a toy gun in hand
3) Run straight for the White House
4) Tommorow you are CNNs top story.
>so many facts that no one ever needs to know. did you do research on this for some obscure reason?<
Wassamatta? You drink Tasters Choice, or something? Don't
worry; nobody's ever been vaporized in our evaporation
chambers, although there is one legendary incident where
a supervisor came close. Freeze dry coffee making is high
teck stuff. All our refrigeration mechanics have at least a red
seal certification and the state requires that we have at least
one gold seal technician on site 24-hours a day. You might not need to know it, but you do now.
rick barclay
Bit trigger happy on the ol' mouse button eh?
I think you would remember me from the other thread, the one about females and first date and all that. You wrote:
>You might be an exeption.
FATAL ERROR: What's that supposed to mean?
(sounds familiar doesn't it? And I am sure you are thinking of something retarded to answer this back. And then after reading this last comment, you will probably restrain from doing it. Just to prove that I am wrong. Even if you deny it, I'll bet this is exactly what you are thinking, retarded "superior". You know that people who call themselves superior are in fact inferior. You have the problem of having too high a self-esteem, or else you are just trying to get attention, which is more likely. Well, if you are not a disgrace of the swedish people, then you are a disgrace of yourself.)
P.S. In case your doperiority still can't see what is wrong with the statement you wrote, you spelled "exception" wrong. Oops, did I say "dope"riority? I mean superiority of course...
The strange thing is we all feel compelled to reply and give him the attention he so desperately seeks.
I guess like moths to a flame, so are intelligent people prone to gravitate around the one idiot in the (chat)room...
I just hope he's not getting under anyone's skin... I personally find him immensly ammusing...
We reply to him because he's funny as hell.
rick barclay
No, it's not that easy. Things are not just black or white.Quote:
*Michelle*
You know that people who call themselves superior are in fact inferior
Yes, that's so sweet of you. I'm proud, *Michelle*. Keep up the good work, tell me more unfair things that makes me sad! *Crying again*Quote:
then you are a disgrace of yourself
Are you evil, *Michelle*?
Yeah, I have this strange fascination about just what he's gonna say next...Quote:
Originally posted by rick barclay
We reply to him because he's funny as hell.
This was from part of an online dictionary under emotion:
“The very essence of literature is the war between emotion and intellect” (Isaac Bashevis Singer).
i, for one, don't really give a damn...
i don't even know why i waste the time posting on this board.
“The very essence of literature is the war between emotion and intellect” (Isaac Bashevis Singer).
What does he mean by that?
rick barclay
rick, congrats: you have made the most random and off topic post in the history of my life.
Anyhow
i think he means that when one writes they are either writing for the intellect or for the emotions of a person. It is hard to hold one completely, and nearly impossible to hold them both.
Ah, I see. I was reading it wrong. The war between what
you feel and what you know. What you want to write and
your ability to get it right.
Nothing is off-topic here, bub. If it were, nothing would be posted.
Whoops. I think I misread Arun. I don't see how anyone can write with an eye toward one or the other. You write to entetain
to to inform and let the chips fall wherever. Music on the other
hand, yes. There's music for the head and then there's music for
the body--you can control which you write music for. But literature...I don't think so. Too many details.
rick barclay
hehe...
you see, the name of my school's team is the Fighting Owls.. my friend put a 'b' in front of the 'o' and an 'e' after the 'w' so it read "Fighting Bowels".
ohh my.. thats great.